Reply
Thu 22 Feb, 2007 07:25 am
My husband and I have been married for nearly a year now. In his past relationships, he never had this problem of controlling his orgasm and he thinks it's because they were empty sexual relationships. I know how that is...I've had plenty of one night stands. My husband thinks that my experience is only with 5 other guys besides him. He knows about my 4 relationships and I admitted to have only one one-night stand. I just don't want to admit that I've been with as many people as I have been. I'm not even sure of the number anymore. But that is off track...
He told me tonight that he feels there are times when he gets anxious about sex because he worries about being able to last. I have admitted that it is frustrating, but I do understand. What I have not admitted (because I don't want to hurt him) is that it is a little more of a problem and that it does effect how often I want to. Also, I just feel different and often don't feel like it for no apparent reason at all. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with my thyroid problems that I am dealing with right now. He also says that it is frustrating for him. We just do the same thing all the time and it does get old. Part of it is to help him and part of it is because sometimes other positions hurt me due to his size. He is just a little larger than what I've been used to in my past. He is not a medication man unless there is no other way...he is willing to try other things first and I am too. He wanted to know if we really needed counseling for it and I'm not sure it's that bad yet. I know I've been one to fill my life with sex, but this is one person that matters to me and I don't desire to stray. At least I don't think so.
There are times that I fantasize about being with another person...and there is one I know of, a guy I had a one night stand with while on a cruise...but this person is so far away it couldn't happen and I don't think I would even do anything if I saw him. For me, it's the occasional fantasy and I know how much I love my husband and don't want to lose the great marriage I have. Does that make me a bad person? Or do I have these fantasies because he is not fulfilling me as much as I believe? Please let me know what you all think, I am really at a loss at this point.
Quote:There are times that I fantasize about being with another person...and there is one I know of, a guy I had a one night stand with while on a cruise...
I remember that cruise well, kimmy, and our one night stand shall never be forgotten.
Thank you.
Welcome to a2k Kimmy.
The first thing you will prob learn is to ignore gus.
Yes, I figured I should. So what should I do....I love my husband more than anything and don't want to jeopardize what we have together.
The Pentacle Queen wrote:Welcome to a2k Kimmy.
The first thing you will prob learn is to ignore gus.
but hang on my every word as though it came directly to your ears from the mouth of God.
Why be so dishonest with your husband? I know about all 3000 of squinney's partners before we met and after 18 years I'm still not finished telling her about all my escapades..... that's trust, and a relationships number one building block is trust.
Listen closely here, I'm giving you Pearls.
He's working on relaxing techniques to prolong himself, and they are helping. I'm just wondering if I have subconscious thoughts about that one night stand because I'm not getting fully satisfied or if there's a deeper reason for them. I also don't want him to ever know about my sexual past because it's just that...my past. He revealed his to me but I just couldn't being myself to fess up on my promiscuous ways. I don't have the desire to stray now, but do you think those feelings could change if things don't get better sexually?
First thing you should do is check with your doctor. If you are on meds for your thyroid issue, that could well have something to do with your not feeling like it for no apparent reason.
Second, if your husband is concerned about lasting long enough to satisfy you, then try changing things up a bit. Have him take the time to satisfy you first either through oral or by using his hands to bring you to an orgasm, then proceed to intercourse.
Finally, I think all couples get to a point at some time where it gets old doing the same thing all the time. So again, change things up. It doesn't necessarily mean different positions since that is a problem for you.
depends.
You know, and I'm not trying to be funny here.... some people hsve a greater desire for sex.... have fantasies and thoughts of sexual adventures apart from their spouses not because of any wiring problems or moral deficiencies but because they just love to come.
It's whether you act on it that counts.
They love to come where, Bear?
why here of course Gus.... to bask in the warm glow of our sincere advice and boundless wisdom....
kimmy4534 wrote:He's working on relaxing techniques to prolong himself, and they are helping.
What techniques? I'd like to hear more. I'm always looking for ways to add strokes my game.
I just wish I knew why I'm having these occasional fantasies...is it normal or does it mean that I still have remaining thoughts and feelings for that guy from the cruise? We kept in touch, but the relationship didn't progress because of the distance between us...and the fact that my boyfriend (at that time) and I had reconciled and got pregnant. My husband is my daughter's father (not biologically)....we're just now finishing the adoption process to make her his daughter forever and I couldn't be happier.
I have found that once you achieve an erection, dip it in fast-drying concrete and you're good to go for a few years.
kimmy4534 wrote:I just wish I knew why I'm having these occasional fantasies...is it normal or does it mean that I still have remaining thoughts and feelings for that guy from the cruise? We kept in touch, but the relationship didn't progress because of the distance between us...and the fact that my boyfriend (at that time) and I had reconciled and got pregnant. My husband is my daughter's father (not biologically)....we're just now finishing the adoption process to make her his daughter forever and I couldn't be happier.
I think it's normal to have fantasies about other people. It's when you act upon them that the trouble starts.
He probably has fantasies too.... I find that if you share them it can be a lot of fun.... I remember one night when squinney revealed to me that she fantasized about a one night stand with Garth Brooks and I admitted to her that I fnatasized about f*cking her sister.... that was a bonding moment.
Green Witch wrote:kimmy4534 wrote:I just wish I knew why I'm having these occasional fantasies...is it normal or does it mean that I still have remaining thoughts and feelings for that guy from the cruise? We kept in touch, but the relationship didn't progress because of the distance between us...and the fact that my boyfriend (at that time) and I had reconciled and got pregnant. My husband is my daughter's father (not biologically)....we're just now finishing the adoption process to make her his daughter forever and I couldn't be happier.
I think it's normal to have fantasies about other people. It's when you act upon them that the trouble starts.
That's why our relationship remains on these pages, Green Witch. If I were to see you in person.... the gates of hell would open.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:I have found that once you achieve an erection, dip it in fast-drying concrete and you're good to go for a few years.
add a little driveway sealant and STD's roll right off too....
There are days that I wake up and consider getting a part time day job just to enahnce my income.... then I stumble on to threads like these and realize there are many people who need me right here.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace