Negative Characteristics/Unacceptable as Friend, Lover, etc.

The trait that comes to mind immediately that is intolerable to me in both a mate and a friend is a general negative attitude. Constant negative comments eat at me no matter who they are directed at. Always pointing out the negative or ruining a good with a "but..."

GRRR!

Example: Large woman enters wearing a beautiful smile, exchanges pleasant conversation, leaves. Negative person says "What a fat load."

HUH? Why was that necessary?

Liars. Liars have no place in my world.

For friend, lover, or mate: someone who can not keep their trap shut at the appropriate time.
To me that means - not talking about people who aren't there (for the most part) , gossiping, bitching over tiny things (like to waitresses over every meal just to bitch at someone), not keeping confidence, not keeping the company you are into consideration (like, talking vulgar when you know it is just going to upset the people there).

Life is too short for worrying that your friends and lovers are making drama that isn't necessary. It's dull, not exciting.

And flakiness. I used to handle flakiness with gritted teeth because I was a flake myself, but now I can't stands it. I like to know that a person's word is their word period.

Yep, lying is a big one for me.

I guess habitual heavy drinking is another. I understand some people might get drunk sometimes. I drink a beer or two almost daily. But, when I see a routine drunk, I walk away. I think that became a black and white issue for me during my stint as a bartender.

Drama kings/queens and narcissists.

Is that one thing or two, though?

One that is easy - I would not accept a significant other that sleeps around, but a friend that does so what. And a smoker - I would accept a friend that smokes, but not some one I am kissing - yeck.

Animal rights types and HSUS supporters need not apply.

men who like porn better than me, any man that does electronics, any man with the same charactor traits as my dad.

For me, the most important thing for both a friend and a mate is honesty. I could never be with a person who denied reality. I once dropped a good friend, when I discovered that she lied to me about stupid, little things

I avoid women who rise from the ashes.

Big feet. A big footed woman is nothing but trouble. Avoid them at all cost.

Wait I have big feet! Actually long feet (at least that is what one shoe salesman had told me).

Anyone discourteous.

Courteous people treat your rights as equal to their own. Discourteous people take for granted that their needs are much more important than your needs and expect you to reason the same way.

Women who speak English.

Interesting question. I've had and still have quite a variety of people be friends to me, and me be to them. There was a guy at work decades ago that I'd still call a friend, despite not seeing him all these years, and he admitted to me that he often lied for fun, but more so, in a kind of screening effort to protect his privacy. Of course that was what I think of as a poor behavioural trait, but I still liked him - he was bright, complicated, thoughtful - and it cuts down my first response to Phoenix's question, which was Liars, forget it.
Not perhaps a guy to marry, at least back then.

I can deal with a lot of traits for a short time that would drive me nuts if they were a constant presence in my life from friends or lovers. So, some of my long time good friends and I would probably have screaming fits if we actually lived in some Olde Friends' Compound, but are happy to see each other every so often - we give each other a kind of social and emotional context over time, even if one chatters too much, another is always late, is a walking fashion victim, makes idiotic-to-me choices about religion and politics, or, mostly gripes about stuff.

I guess one real stopper for someone I was with a lot would be a trait one of my intermediate bosses had, that of never shutting up. I need a fair amont of quiet to think my own thoughts.. probably something derived from being an only child of older parents.

anyone who eats their own ice cream and then has the careless attitude of eating MY ice cream. I mean it! (hi Diane)

People with no sense of humor make me angry.

People with no conversation themes. Or with only one conversation theme (be it TV soap operas and gossip, politics, life at work or airplanes).

And "healthy lifestyle" zealots, self righteous hypocondriacs. (And I work out, drink very little, eat little meat and no junk food... but I dislike extremists).

Any type of religious extremist.

People who truly dislike children.

I predict you're riding for a fall, dys...




agree with fbaezer.