smorgs wrote:I have an imaginery relationship with Lord Ellpus...
In our imaginery world, he makes me loads of tea, reads me to sleep, massages my feet and provides me with multiple orgasms whenever wish. He does all the housework in a 'comedy' apron, has dinner ready when I come home from work and says things like "tell me all about your day, I'm really interested in everything you do or say", and "you need building up, baby, have more chocolate".
Sigh...
x
< Ellpus quietly puts down spatula and rearranges his trousers>
Good Lord!
Yes?
Not you...I was referring to smorgs's post.
Oh.
Right.........my first reaction, purely an animal behavioural instinctivising type thing, was a rapid and rather disconcerting period of involuntary trouserial tentage.
Now that I've calmed, I shall look at this, bit by bit.
1.
Quote:In our imaginery world, he makes me loads of tea..
As you may or may not know, I have a phobia when it comes to that unmentionable beverage. However, I am perfectly willing to make you cups of Hot Chocolate, Double Chocca Mocha or Raspberry and Vanilla herbal brew, that smells nice but actually tastes like cat's pee, but it's all I've got left in the cupboard at this moment.
2.
I'm quite willing to do this, as long as you don't ask me to read that aerobic literature, where it gets all steamy and sexy. This leads to a restless legs during the night, and usually results in me waking with some sort of throbbing going on in my lower regions.
3.
Massaging usually makes me quite historical and brings about a bodily reaction similar to that when I read aerobic lierature.
An afternoon massage would be OK, as I would then have time to calm myself before retiring to bed at 9.30.
4.
Quote:provides me with multiple orgasms whenever I wish....
Now, I notice that you use the plural on your mispelt
organism word.
I must warn you now that despite having exceptionally green fingers, I have only ever once succesfully grown a multiple organism, and even then I had to over winter it in the greenhouse because it turned out to be a lot more tender than I'd originally thought.
It survived for two years until I adopted a stray cat who peed in its soil and killed the bugger stone dead overnight.
You may therefore have to settle for the odd imaginary
single organism in order to avoid any disappointment.
5.
Quote: He does all the housework in a 'comedy' apron, has dinner ready when I come home from work and says things like "tell me all about your day, I'm really interested in everything you do or say", and "you need building up, baby, have more chocolate".
I can do all of the above, and would quite willingly, as long as the comedy apron was one of those plastic jobbies that made it look as if I was wearing a French Maid's outfit.
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