Diary Poems

wrote nothing last night....
though having a splendid morning anyway.....

I was five years old...

I was five years old
Some ten years from now
When I first shed tears
Of crimson blood from my heart
Out these two dreary eyes

I pretended to be asleep
On that winter eve
So that no one could see
How I begged to retrieve

I had thought life was cakes and toys
The fairy would grant my every wish

Their words carved an imprint on my soul
And welcomed me out
Of the childhood I long to complete

I was five years old
When I first died
And every moment thereafter
My grave calls for me
A living corpse

Please bury me
Or tell me I'm not dead
And end the agony
Which I can't seem to escape
Even if I want to

I was five years old
When my life ended
And ever since
I striving against fate

(it lacks continuety...but i just had to write it)

You're a brave writer
Hope you write more

Peace
Endy

thanks Endy
you're always very motivating...

i'll post more this weekend
Regards
Naima

Read the first three.

They're all good.

I like the second........from a poetic point of view, but from a biographical catharsis I like te first.

Will read the rest later.

Love,
Leena

thanks Lee
it would be easier if you find that file though!!! :wink:

I made a Terrible Mistake

I made a terrible mistake
The consequences, I can never fake
You said you'd always be there
And I trusted you
For the sake of that temporary love
Which will always remain a lie
No matter how hard I try
Amidst my world of grace
Your dirty feet left a trace
Based on revenge and infidelity
This change, I cannot erase
So I live to hate my fate
Now I walk on your stray paths
In search of that side of you
Which I thought I knew
And hang my loose ends
To bring you back
Though this power I lack

I had conditioned my mind
Never to trust
But the sight of you
Wrapped me in your lust
Now it will suck all the blood
Out of my choice less soul
And drain the last tear
While you score

I made a terrible mistake
Now I burn at the stake

Tried, as you know; haven't given up yet, though.

Read the last one -- I made a terrible Mistake


A question: Is it always a mistake?

And if it is, have we already made all the mistakes to know they're all mistakes?

Or do we only name our own rotten judgment as a mistaken love that lusts us or had lusted us?

according to the polarity law, there is always a polar opposite.........why do we find it easier to distrust something than to trust it -- like love; any love, not strictly between a man and a woman ( cuz everybody is not straight :wink: )

Love,
Leena.

Hi Lee
well about the file...hey, no worries!!! i've got back up...though i just need the last (edited) part of "no, not tonight" other than that it really doesn't matter!!!

and


honey, that's what 'they' say it is and currently we live with 'them'


dude, the simple thing is: DON:T TRUST, GOD DAMN IT!!!
and if you do...then YES it is a mistake....the point is it's not really a rotten judgement, atleast not how i see it, it's just a stupid...well...a stupid 'mistake'



OK you got me!!!
why is it easier to distrust...Actually Lee, it's not easy!!!(ask someone who forces herself not to trust her closest friends and still loves 'em and then doesn't trust them and then asks how can she love them if she doesn't trust them and then....)
yes, it's crazy...it's a kind of torment.
anyways, although trust forms the basis of love...Love is an entirely different thing....
you can just love, you know, like just love....
it sometimes just happens and sometimes takes years and years....
i'll get into that sometime later....
though you ask why is it easier to distrust then to trust...
i don't know why, but i do know, life is much better that way!!!(well, atleast on the surface it is)

Love
Naima

ps what's with that last point about being straight? :wink:

Funny World

I tried to find reason for my existence
And attain my purpose hear

But you stopped me
Saying I had none

I wanted to become myself
But you hated my originality

I tried to be who I am
You changed my paths
Then
I cried to live my life
You laughed at my tears
So,
I ended up doing what you wanted me to do
And being you wanted me to be
…a source of erotic pleasure
An object of sexual needs
Now I am a slave
Obeying your commands
Still,

You aren't happy

it's a funny world

A million nights I stayed awake
Thinking thoughts of forgotten times

For centuries, I walked and walked and walked
On paths of mistaken lines

It took me years to figure it out

The rainbows I followed
In search of that gold
Led to nowhere
Just myths of times old

How many other mysteries of distress
Does my lost fate holds

How many dreams to suppress
How many crimes still left, untold
???????????????????????????????

Funny World Yeah, it is.

And the later one, really nice.

Your creativity, originality and productivity is all on high -- or is it 'balanced'? :wink:

You're gonna make me jealous :wink: Ok no, not yet.

Love,
Leena.

Hey Lee


in this case HIGH!!! c'mon can't you forget that little joke.
anyways, thanks a lot....half the credit goes to you for making me realize i had this ability!!!

Love you too
Naima

After all these years of seperation
i thought we'd finally be together
but now i know better
and all those false hopes
will no longer live
for i have stopped believing in you
cause everytime i do
you come with another twist
to make me relive that angry fist
of those moments i tried to forget

i don't believe in you
nor do i believe in those promises
which you so solemnly swore
I have no faith anymore!

In capable of understanding your rationality
i tried to see this world like you
though you never tried to see beyond the flesh
my feelings were all so true
you never wanted to know my side
so i wished to feel like you

but what can i do
when all that time i lived for you
you thought i was grue
and when i left you
you claimed my purity to be untrue

you can live without me
but i can't even fathom to die
without you!

No, Not Tonight!


I am sick of this life
Altogether which isn't mine
I'm tired of bieng an object
for you sexuality
I'm tired of fulfilling you desires
of sensuality
All this agonizing harrassment
I just can't take it anymore
All this lustful f*cking
I won't do it nomore

You think i don't have a mind
through which i would know
You think i don't have feelings
or emotions that flow
You think i don't have a heart
or desires i can grow
Well, you are wrong
And this i will show
With the power of my feminity
Which you have marked with disgrace
With the power of those tears
Whose owners you have raped
Oh you don't think so?
What'll you do if i say no?
Yes, that's right baby,i've said no
No,not tonight
I'm never ready for nay emotionless sex
My revolution has begun
And i'm ready to be a martyr
So what is it that you'll do
With all that masculinity
And superiority of physical strength
Do all that you can
F*ck my corpse
but i'm not gonna make you feel happy
No, not tonight
or everafter!

(might sound a bit offensive! )

Naima Wrote




Baby, I'd say it's defensive :wink:

but the ones who get offended -- whatever

Ya know, I'd still love ya

Actually, for me...its meant to offend those i wrote it about!(yeah, sometimes i can get Very VeRy Scary!!! :wink: )
and defensive? good grief! how did you figure THAT out!?



a while ago you were said something about bieng straight, you continuesly sighn off as 'Love, Leena' and now....
C'mon Lee...i really wouldn't think so!!!

Honestly speaking, Lee(Serious here)
if i hadn't written that one, i'd've had a mental breakdown! Considering that you go through pretty much the same stuff, i'd say you,of all people, would understand it deeply!