I see dead people.....

I suspect you will feel better if you elucidate more fully....but my waters are whispering something to me about Mo's birth family?



((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Boomer))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

boomer, this will make you feel better, honey.

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=88743&highlight=

Thank you for that Letty, it did indeed bring a smile to my face on a day I started with a smile but lost it somewhere in the shuffle.

And BINGO, dlowan. That's it exactly.

I have a few minutes so I will expand on my topic a bit. I've been trying to keep things a little closer to home lately but sometimes things just get too big for this house.

It all started a couple of weeks ago when Auntie T called to see "how we were going to divide up the holiday". I was a sissy and dodged everything. Mo somehow got the idea that she was coming to visit that night and when she didn't he had a fit - a mean fit. It was "all my fault".

A few days later I received a well timed email (thanks again, dlowan) and I found some courage under the sofa cushions (and quite a bit of change!) and the next time she called I laid things out:

Mo was now adopted and I hadn't really considered his "family" in my plans. If they wanted to make plans they needed to get their act together (dates? times? anything? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?). She promised to call with specifics and wanted to talk to Mo.

He handed the phone to me and said "She's coming over" so I got on the phone and said "What time?".

She said "Oh I really can't tonight."

I said "Then you are going to be the one to tell him. Don't tell him you are if you aren't."

And I put Mo back on the phone and made her tell him.

I think I scared her because she sic'ed mOther on me.

Now mOther and I get along. We see eye to eye on things. She was really in my camp but had been seriously lobbied by her family to ensure that Mo would be there for either Christmas breakfast or dinner.

I wanted him to be here so I searched my soul and I talked to Mo and we agreed that it would be worth going to breakfast just so he could see that little train again.

Then the weirdness started:

Mo being an emotional wreck.

Mo not sleeping.

Mo being worried about things. (The storm, the electricity, the house burining down, getting hit by a car, you name it.)

Mo having little "accidents" where he couldn't make it to the toilet in time.

Mo blaming things on the dog and cat that they couldn't possibly do.

Mo digging through his old clothes and insisting on wearing the tiniest items he could find.

Mo saying: I can't wait to see other mom. (Me saying: I'm excited for you) I love other mom. Don't you love other mom? (Of course I love other mom.) Other mom is nice isn't she? (Other mom is my good friend of course I think she's nice.) I can't wait to see her. (I'm excited for you.) Can we make her some cookies? (Absolutely! We'll make her a pile of cookies so she can share with everyone.)


We've spent a couple of weeks being weird waiting for the holiday to come and go so life can (hoping, praying) get normal again.

Then today they called and cancelled.

Mom can't make the drive over (15 minutes) to pick him up and Auntie T is afraid he won't go with her so let's just do it some other day. Okay?


So now I'm just having a little catharsis by pretending to kill everyone and admitting my house is too small.

I feel a little bit better now.

Maybe if I look in the back corner of the cupboard I can find that wiley smile.

They are evil, sick people Boomer and they deserve to be tied to those Xmas train tracks and run over. We will all testify at the trial that you had to do it - it was self-defense. There is not a judge in this land that would see it any other way.

(One day Mo will understand all and there will be no glamour in it.)

You dont need to do it boomer.

I'll do it for you. For free. Omsig, get me a gun.

A drive by on the way to the airport.

In, out... surgical strike.

Shitheads!!! What a bunch of shitheads!!! And creeps... and jerks and... poopity heads, too!




(((Boomer and Mo and Mr. B.)))

Okay, granted I don't know all the history and I may be sticking my foot in my mouth and speaking totally out of turn. But that's never stopped me before, so here goes.

I have no patience for rude behavior or people whose behavior injures my loved ones. This intolerable nonsense doesn't help the little boomlet and, in fact, appears to be downright harmful. Next time these folks call, tell them in no uncertain terms to go pound sand. Tell them they can keep pounding said sand until they grow up enough to stop toying with this kid's emotional well being. In the meantime, it's your job as his parent to protect and shield him from this abuse (I mean, let's call a spade a spade). Merry effin' Christmas. Then hang up.

If that doesn't work, call me and I'll help you hide the bodies. Then I'll set up the train and we can pop a cork and celebrate the season.

Damn.



What they did makes sense, in the sense of being predictable, given the whole shebangle.......but double damn with machine guns.

Oh, maaaaan.

Blacksmithn said it really well.

Let this incident be the steel in your spine.

I need addresses.

I need photos.

Canada's got an extradition treaty with the U.S.

I'm good for it.

Bastids.

They don't deserve anything better than spit.

Bastids.

I am so sorry for Mo, and you of course, boomer. For Mo's sake I would
lay down the rules that in future if they're making an appointment to see
Mo they need to show up or you'll stop it all together.

To disappoint that poor child over and over again is just plain cruel
on their part. They have no consideration whatsoever. You might as
well cut them out altogether - slowly of course, but nonetheless.

Thank you all.

The A2K Assassination Squad is a good team to have on your side.

It is just such a damned if you do/don't situation.

I know I didn't really do anything wrong. I didn't try to persuade. I didn't cajole. I tried to help him decide what he wanted to do and I went along with his decision. I didn't talk about it unless he brought it up. I didn't praise or bad mouth anyone. I tried to let him know that whatever he wanted was okay with me.

So why do I feel so guilty?

It is frikken crushing me......

Is it guilt, or is it empathy?

The kid's hurting, so of course you are too.

Plus I think we all want to protect our children from any hurt whatsoever, and while it's of course impossible, and we know it's impossible, it still sucks mightily when hurt manages to get through the parental shield.

How utterly cruel. They must not love Mo at all!

More hugs to Mo and boomer and mr. boomer too...

Could this be an example of a situation where Mo wants you to say what the rules are - rather than letting him decide?

Does he know that you think it's lousy when they don't follow through? That it's lousy when they let him down? Do the same rules apply to them that apply to him ... ie you do what you promise to do ... that sort of thing.

Ya know boom..


now sounds like a good time to tell them to go f.uc.k themselves.


Really.. !

*(&$(&*@! tHOSE PEOPLE MAKE ME WANT TO FLY TO or AND SLAP THEM SILLY. tHAT POOR SWEET BOY. Oopsie, sorry about the caps, but they'll stay because they fit the mood of my post.

Maybe it's empathy but it sure feels like guilt.

Between lighting the fuse and detonation there was a nice pause and now he seems to be okay with things.

Lousy is the perfect word.

Yes. He knows I think it is lousy that people don't follow up on their promises. He knows that he, and I, and Mr. B., are all expected to do as we promise. I try to help him understand that we can only control ourselves and not others.

Maybe he does want me to make the rules here. The sad thing is - I don't know what the rules are. The rules are in constant development. This experience will allow me to establish rules for the future.

When people are deliberately cruel you'll need to protect Mo from them. This will of course make you the bad guy in his and their eyes. It's a no-win situation in that respect.

(Beth makes some really interesting points.)

There's guilt flying all over the place too -- other family may have initiated contact because they feel guilty; Mo may feel he should want to see his other mother.

I wish you strength, Boomer.