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Mon 27 Nov, 2006 06:37 pm
I've been trying to decide how to do this because try as I might by thinking and fantasizing I can't bring myself to try homosexuality and besides that being queer is so....mainstream.
So after giving this considerable thought and doing a lot of research, by studying the word of experts on the right...... I've decided to skip homosexuality and go directly to beastiality.
Now the only question...what kind of animal do I f*ck first?
Suggestions?
First I must whack you with my magic wand...
Okay, now you must say, oh wait, now you must sing (as loudly as possible) "Someday my prince will come"...this will help you become one of us...a limp wristed nellie...
Once you have joined the masses and become a flaming queen, a joyboy, a light in the loafers pansy; bestiality will come naturally to you. Seeing as how you already are a bear you will need to start with racoons and then badgers slowly working yourself up the scale to the lomax.
On second thought forget about going gay...just go boink a lomax.
Re: I Wnat To Be A Sexual Deviant....
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:...studying the word of experts on the right...... I've decided to skip homosexuality and go directly to beastiality.
Do you get to collect $200, or do you have to go directly to jail?
By the way, are you using the race car, or the little boot?
<ping!>
You're a sexual deviant.
i tell everybody i know that you already are
No sweat, Bear; just do it with your left hand.
Bear wrote:I've decided to skip homosexuality and go directly to beastiality.
Welcome to the club, Bear. You have made a wise choice. There is a wide variety of animals to choose from and, to date, I have done 247 different species.
While the sheep understandly is near the top of the list, one can never go wrong with the walrus. Slippery and cunning they are, but, once you are locked up with one... welcome to heaven.
Re: I Wnat To Be A Sexual Deviant....
Bi-Polar Bear wrote: I've decided to skip homosexuality and go directly to beastiality.
Now the only question...what kind of animal do I f*ck first?
Suggestions?
Be really deviant!
You don't need to skip homosexuality to try bestiality. You can do both at the same time.
A stallion, maybe?
One time, back in the spring of '57, I was feeling particulary horny, probably brought on by the weather, all the flowers blooming and the warmth of the sun after a seemingly interminable winter, when a passing raccoon caught my fancy.
I caught the waddling beast and, in true animal fashion, did the waddling beast from behind. (raccoons hate the missionary position)
Afterwards, as I smoked a cigarette, I glanced at the snoring creature and shook her awake. I held the cigarette between her lips and, I swear to god, she took a couple of puffs.
Then she walked away and disappeared into the undergrowth, but not before a cloud of smoke from her exhalation filled the air and added a bit of mystery to her departure.
Yep... raccoons are good. Try one of them, Bear.
I think bear should take to the religious right...I hear they don't get a lot of fun.
Re: I Wnat To Be A Sexual Deviant....
fbaezer wrote:Bi-Polar Bear wrote: I've decided to skip homosexuality and go directly to beastiality.
Now the only question...what kind of animal do I f*ck first?
Suggestions?
Be really deviant!
You don't need to skip homosexuality to try bestiality. You can do both at the same time.
A stallion, maybe?
He's already a damned animal...that wouldn't be bestiality, it would be miscegenation.
I know a gut that wanted to do Clarise, the animated puppet reindeer from the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer cartoon. I must admit, she IS pretty hot.
Deb! The religious right?!
Even BPB has SOME standards, y'know!
Um...
Uh....
Well...he married Squinney, didn't he?
Bear! Get back here and defend yerself!!!
I'm surprised at Gus' restraint: "Yep... raccoons are good. Try one of them, Bear."
What, only one?
Eva wrote:Um...
Uh....
Well...he married Squinney, didn't he?
I think that says Squinney has been subjected to mind altering substances to suborn her will more than it says anything good about BPB!
:wink:
Bear, I know you don't like to visit SB, but Pragmaticone is in high gear telling me about what kind of a stud he is. He is going on and on about the drunken office orgys he has attended and even brings up Tail Hook. I don't know if he is deviant, just perhaps creepy and wrinkled. But if you check the thread that is titled "Bush is a sleezbag", at least I think that's what it is called, you will learn a whole lot about creepy stuff. If you can't find it, I'll send you the link if it hasn't been deleted by now.
JLNobody wrote:I'm surprised at Gus' restraint: "Yep... raccoons are good. Try one of them, Bear."
What, only one?
Only one for Bear, JL. Bear is new to the game and can not be expected to nail a multitude of raccoons, or
racci as I like to call a plethora of the delectable, sexy creatures.
I can handle the racci and I have on numerous occasions, but let's ease the Bear into this gently.
Very thoughtful as usual.
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