Marriage - The Best Age.

Hmmm, after much consideration, I think 87 is a good age. That way, about the time the honeymoon wears off, you die. So you never get to the point where you have to work at making the marriage work, which is the point at which most couples seem to say the heck with it.

But seriously, I think any age is fine if both parties go into the marriage with their eyes open. Expect there to be disagreements, arguments, etc. But also go into it with a promise that whatever the circumstance you will work through the issue rather than throw in the towel. I've been married for nearly 25 years. I was 23 and my wife was a couple months shy of 19 when we got married. We've had our differences along the way, but neither of us ever mentioned or hinted at the "D" word. Whenever we have a disagreement that has us not talking, one or the other remembers why we got married in the first place (LOVE baby, pure LOVE) and we sit and talk things out. Then we make out, but that's another story altogether and not fit for recounting here. Hehehe

Basically, the long and short of it is that we both put God first and each other second. And it seems the closer we grow toward God the closer we grow to each other.

Hope you find this little bit of wisdom (such as it is) helpful.

Good luck to both of you and God bless.

I think that's way too young today. I think it was different maybe 50 years ago, when life expectations were shorter and having a high school diploma really meant something. Today, no.

There's still just too much growing up to do at that age -- even if you remain the same person at the end of it, there's something about the process that I think is really important and that can't be done if you're in a very serious relationship. I don't think you need to break UP, but I also don't suggest getting married at this age. What's the rush? Even more than advising against getting married at your age I'd advise against having kids that early.

Note, there are always exceptions to this kind of thing, but since I know very little about you I can only give a general answer, and my general answer is: WAIT.

When I was 19 I was in a very serious relationship that we both kind of assumed would be lifelong -- it ended very badly. When I was 21 I met the guy I ended up marrying, but we didn't get married until I was 25. Even that seems shockingly young to me, but I did a whole lot in that interval (got two degrees, entered the workforce, etc.) and I'm glad I had that finished before I got married.

Check out the divorce rates for young marrieds (or even older ones, for that matter). Boyfriend needs to ask himself if he's ready to give up half his stuff and half his income if you guys become yet another statistic. If I were him, I wouldn't particularly care for the odds in that little game of chance.

Frankly, I'd counsel waiting. Since I know how self-righteous and wrongheaded most kids are at your age, I doubt you'll wait. Good luck.

Too young.

You haven't even exprienced drinking at a bar yet. You will regret marrying young. You will say you are going to college but you won't because you won't be able to afford it. At best, you'll hit a community college but living at home isn't the same as going away to college (even if you get a good eduation, part of the college experience is going away) You will resent each other for taking awaying that part of your youth.

Give it 2-3 years and if you still want to marry, do it.

Had I married the guy I was dating at 19, it would have been a disaster.

Why don't you continue dating your boyfriend?
Why do you have the urge to be married?
Would it change that much?
Who would support you?

Lots of questions to be answered (more for yourself actually)

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=2351262&highlight=#2351262

Oy! 19 is much too young. I first married at 19 and my EX-husband was 24. That was many, many years ago when 19 and 24 weren't nearly as young as they are perceived today. I was miserable by the time I was 24 and divorced many unhappy years later. We both wanted it to work but the reality was that neither of us were finished growing into the people we would become and the youthful enthusiasm didn't stand the test of time.

Where's Eva? She has a similar story...

32 sounds about right...

i think you should wait also.....i got married at 30 and am glad i did...i got to experience so much(went to university twice, lived alone, travelled),, i'm not saying you should break up with your boyfriend, but just put off the wedding till you both have "lived" a little and experienced life...if it's true love, time will not matter, but regaining your youth will never happen, good luck!

As soon as I read those last two words Coastal Rat was whisked onto a stage in a seedy Las Vegas bar and a gentle drum roll could be heard in the background.

JPB is right. My story IS similar. I, too, got married when I was 19 to a guy who was 24. Five miserable years later, when I was 24, I divorced him. Looking back, I can't believe it took me five whole years....but then, what a lot of growing up I did in those five years!

At the age of 19, we all have a sense of being bulletproof. We think that no matter what problems we may run into, we'll be able to solve them. Sadly, that is not true. But we have to run into a few walls to figure that out.

how about waiting for some more time before u plunged into marriage...25 or more would be my reply

I married at 19, when 18-20 was the norm. I was divorced 4 years later, and should have split much sooner.

I was a totally different person when I married my second husband, in my late twenties. There is so much change that happens between the late teens and middle twenties, that, IMO, an early marrriage is a recipe for disaster, if you don't wait awhile, date a lot of people, and really understand who you are, and what you want out of life.

sozboe- what do you mean having a high school diploma really meant something?
This attitude really annoys me. Because it still does mean something.
I resent the fact that I tried so hard with my a levels and did really well, and everyones like 'ah, you only did good because they are getting easier'

sorry this isnt related to the thread.

I married at 17. divorced

I married at 25. divorced

I married at 33. divorced

I married at 40. success. (so far anyway)


wait a while.

and, 2 important words.....



PRE NUP

Bi- Unless you are an heir or an heiress, the vast majority of people don't have a pot to piss in at 19. So why bother with a pre-nup? If the marriage lasts long enough for one of the parties to amass some money, then a prenup probably wasn't necessary in the first place.

IMO, a prenup is needed if:

There are children from a first marriage.
The couple is older, and one of them has amassed a large amount of money.
One of the couple has rich parents.
One of the couple has a thriving business.

Hmm. I always took you, Polar Bear, to have been a wild child around town.
Never thought you'd have married 'em.

Regardless, I'm glad I have waited. Maybe I'll get married yet. No matter.

I don't discount the age factor, but it's more in how prepared you are to make a life together, if you will have enough money, have you finished your education, and dozens of other problems. I married the first time at age 30. No matter, it still ended in divorce.

Every couple's situation is different, however, in most cases 19 is too young. I compare myself and the majority of others when they were 19 and how they were even 5 or six years later and it is night and day. At 19 you just finished high school and even though you may feel you're an adult, you have barely experienced life - you have not really been on your own and taken care of yourself financially and emotionally.

That is not to say it won't work, but why rush? My mom got married a week after turning 18. My parents are still happily married - married over 30 years, however, my mom even says if she had to do it over, she would not have gotten married so young. She said she went straight from her parents' house to her husbands. She never had the opportunity to live on her own. That is not to say she wouldn't have married my dad, but she just wished she had the experience of being on her own for a while.