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They Walk Among Us

 
 
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 03:02 pm
They Walk Among Us!

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it.." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.

Caution..They Walk Among Us...
====================

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for some time, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us...

==== ================

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They Walk Among Us...

====================

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

They Walk Among Us...

====================

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us...

====================

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us...

====================

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

They Walk Among Us..

====================

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"

They Walk Among Us...

====================

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

They Walk Among Us, too.

====================

Yep, They walk among us, AND they reproduce!!! Rolling Eyes
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,306 • Replies: 28
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 03:06 pm
EGADS!
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 03:15 pm
Laughing

my favorite is the nose ring....
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 03:17 pm
The fungus
Is among us.
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 03:26 pm
Re: They Walk Among Us
Phoenix32890 wrote:


====================

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us...

====================


I would have bought 10 cases and got the whole load for free! I walk among you...
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 04:34 pm
I found a few more:

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

This one was from Kingman, KS.

______________________________________________

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
And he was a Kansas City chef!

______________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

______________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita,KS

______________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, this is fun. We should do this more often."

Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

______________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip Back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.

______________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

______________________________________________

*they walk among us ... AND REPRODUCE
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 04:40 pm
Stop, you're all scaring me!
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 04:57 pm
Quote:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."


There is no way in hell that that one is true.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 04:58 pm
That person came up with that idea on her own, thinking it would be a cute story.

She is the idiot in this case.

And anyone who would believe such a yarn.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 05:11 pm
Am I the only one who is livid about this piece of mendacity?
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 05:13 pm
I wouldn't call myself livid, perhaps dubious.
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 05:17 pm
doesn't matter whether its true or not. its Still funny. One lifes little philosophies....

Never let the truth get in the way of a good yarn.
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 05:18 pm
I could probably write a few and call them They Live In Our Houses.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 05:20 pm
dadpad wrote:
doesn't matter whether its true or not. its Still funny. One lifes little philosophies....

Never let the truth get in the way of a good yarn.


It does matter, if it is written as truth.

I have never been so pissed.

Never.
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 05:21 pm
There, there Gus <patpat>
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 05:24 pm
Thanks, k. That helps a little.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 06:05 pm
I happen to know the tale of the locked car is true. I was a mechanic before I undertook my current profession, and well, I better go no further - - -
Embarrassed
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 06:09 pm
I know you better than that, edgar.

Seriously, are we to believe that a mechanic would do such a thing? No one, with the possible exception of the current president of the United States, would be capable of such enormous stupidity.
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 06:14 pm
gustavratzenhofer wrote:


No one, with the possible exception of the current president of the United States, would be capable of such enormous stupidity.


And who pray tell elected him?
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Oct, 2006 06:15 pm
I am apoplectic over all of this.
0 Replies
 
 

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