Questions from a First-Time Mother

Well mom, what is it that you want to know?

This will be a running thread for me, I'm sure. Here are the first couple questions.

Since it would be very tough to incorporate a bath in the already crazy morning routine, I give M her bath between 7-7:30 PM, and she's generally in bed and asleep soonafter - by about 8. My question is about her hair, which is still a little damp by the time she falls asleep. With winter almost here, (what) do you think I should do something to dry it completely? Will she catch colds more readily because I let her go to bed with damp hair? (I know, I know - cold are caused by viruses, but I can't shake off my mother's voice in the back of my head: "don't go out in the cold with wet hair, don't go to bed with wet hair....")

Second question: how many layers do you put on your child in the Fall and then Winter season. And what material do these layers consist of (plain cotton, fleece, wool)? I know the rule of the thumb says 'dress your child in one more layer than you,' but somehow that doesn't always feel right. For example, these days - early Fall weather - on a typical day, M wears a snug cotton undershirt (sort of like the kind men wear under their formal shirts, only it's sleeveless - like a tank, I guess). Then she wears a long-sleeved cotton onesie/shirt. Her pants are either plain cotton, or sometimes fleece - depending on the temperature outside. And on top she wears either a fleece or a thick cotton hoodie. She wears cotton socks and soft-leather shoes (for children who have just started walking). I can never figure out if she's going to warm enough or too warm, and it drives me nuts. So, my question is: do you think that those are reasonable layers? And what do your children wear in this sort of weather? (I should mention that we live in the vicinity of Philly.)

Thanks!

This is an Ok place to come with simple, non-personal questions and of course we are happy to help.

But, when you say you have questions that you can't ask your doctor... it raises a bit of a red flag. I would hope you have a relationship with your doctor that would allow you to ask anything. A good doctor will either answer directly, or will take the time to direct you to resource that will provide the support you need.

My wife and I were given decent support from our pediatrician and from nurses. I find that having the prersonal interaction is the best thing for getting support and advice. I hope that you are in a position where you can feel comfortable asking for whatever you need from your doctor and in most places there are other resources for new parents as well.

I may be reading too much into your post. And of course, as much as is possible from a distance with a keyboard, many people here will be happy to offer support and advice.

Right you are, this is the place to be. There are many sounding boards here for your use. Ask away.

In the absence of a specific question, I will offer just two bits of advice.

1) Children are very durable and resilient. (Read: I let mine fall down stairs)
2) Trust your instincts. (After they fall down the stairs, your motherly instincts will know if they are truly hurt)

Ah, ok. On the wet hair, I let my daughter go to bed with wet hair. But if you're worried about it, it won't hurt to blow her hair dry now and again.

On the layers, 15 months is getting a little active, right? I think what you've described is adequate for this season in the northeast. You don't want so many layers that your child's movement is restricted. I've always been fond of putting my kids to bed in long underwear (snug fitting pants and long sleeved shirt) and then just dressing them on top of those in the morning when it's cold outside. This prevents them having to get undressed in the cold morning and provides a nice, warm, non-restricing layer under their clothes. My daughter will often wear a dress over long johns in colder weather, but she's 4 now and very active. This allows her to stay warm and be pretty free, but also to wear dresses, which I can't talk her out of.

I also let my children go to bed with wet hair. Another thought though is to gently dry the hair with a absorbent towel - I have even seen one in one of the bath and body type stores that is supposed to dry your hair quickly. Or in using the hair dryer - just make sure it is on cool air and lowest setting for power as the hot air could burn.

As far as dressing - I would imagine the child would complain or get fussy if too hot or cold. So I would go with what you are doing and then clue in to how your child is behaving.

I also agree - that pretty much any question can be asked of the child's doctor. And don't be afraid to ask and think - they'll think I'm incompetent. The doctor hears it all. If you makes you feel better, I once called because my newborn was crying a lot. She was just a few weeks out and I actually said this isn't like her - well since hasn't been around me, but a few weeks - what is like her now? I laughed at myself immediately after. The nurse actually was very nice and understanding - they realize how new mothers can feel and should be understanding.

I agree that talking to the doctor about these less-pressing things is nice, but it really depends on the doctor. Neither of the two pediatricians we've dealt with would've been very amused. They are both busy and trying to get through the appointment as soon as possible, and their eyes visually glazed over every time I asked a question of that type. And the answer was always a brusque and dismissive "it's fine." Even when it later turned out that it wasn't fine ( a spot on my baby's tooth), that was always the answer if I asked... I stopped asking that kind of stuff.

If you have a doctor who's willing to listen, fabulous. I understand where the "can't ask my doctor" part could be coming from, though.

As for warmth, what I was told is actually to dress your child at the SAME level as what you're wearing, not one more. I can't find a source for that with a quick search, so I won't swear to it. You can usually tell by looking at/ feeling the baby's face, though. I think I usually dressed her a bit warmer than I thought was necessary and then took off layers if she started looking flushed. Also, at 15 months she was signing basic things like "hot," very useful. (As in, she'd just sign "hot" to me if she was too hot.)

I like the long underwear pj's/ underlayer idea, we did that too in the winters. Nice for naps, too.

Oh and since she's started walking and will be held less than last winter, I'd suggest a down coat and snowpants. Great for toddling around in the real cold (~40 and below) and snow if you get it.

Also, on winter outerwear... I always unzipped my kids jackets when they were in the car. They were dressed for being outside and would sometimes overheat during a long car ride with the heat running, especially on a sunny day.

Me too.

I can understand - fortunately for me there are a group of nurses that field calls throughout the day so that "minor" questions are answered via a nurse or assistant and the more medical questions are answered later by a doctor.

Thanks very much, Everyone, for your responses.

We just relocated to the East coast from the West. The docs here are still new to us, we're still in the process of building a relationship. Even so, at each of our visits, I am usually armed with a whole bunch of 'larger' questions - diet, weight, etc. etc. It's a written list, mind you. I can almost see the docs rolling their eyes soon as I whip it out. I barely have time to go through that, before, as somebody here said, the doc's eyes glaze over & they start inching toward the door.

Good suggestion with the long sleepwear that you dress over the next day. Can anybody recommend a brand? Or provide a link to something you've bought for your child? I am an immigrant and not very good at recognizing good brands for children just yet.

As for the hair, I guess by the time she's asleep, I usually finger comb it fairly dry. It sounds from the feedback here that that might not be a terrible thing to do. I'd try the hair-dryer once in a while, just lately she's been getting scared of hair dryer/vacuum/mixer sounds. I might try that in a couple months when it gets a little colder yet.

I love, love, love Old Navy's long jammies. In fact, I just bought the ducklet these. They often run "2 for" sales but they are still a tad pricey for me. Walmart carries Fruit of the Loom and Hanes brand thermal underwear, which is pretty much the same thing, that I also like.

I like Vitamins brand, and Carter's, which you can find at Macy's up to size 24 months. Shop their sale rack and if you have the store credit card, ask when they will have days when you get an additional discount for using your card and buy her stuff on those days. I put my child in the long sleeve onesies w/leggings. You can layer a jumper over such an outfit for a baby, then outerwear over that.

Another Old Navy fan here. We've gone with those for a long time. If you want to do a fleece overlayer, we like Carter's. (Babysoz would NOT keep blankets on and that was our solution for cold winter nights. Cotton long john underlayer and fleece overlayer.)

Example from the JC Penney site. (Couldn't get a workable url to post the pic.)

We live in Alaska, and I rarely put a jacket on my son

It's probably because people just get used to the weather they're in.

It's too hot for him. He only goes outside for a few seconds, so I just use a blanket. Lately he's wearing a jacket but I take it off before he ges in the car. He sweats too much! I wear my THICK winter jacket in the car with the heater on, and he's sweating... but only in a onsie, long-sleeve shirt, and pants. They have real cheap long-sleeve onsies at Wal-Mart. Stylish too!

And for sleeping, I keep his vent open, and the rest are closed in the house. As long as it stays around 69 in there, he's comfortable ...although they do say 72 is where MOST humans are comfortable. He sweats up a storm when it's above 70. I just go in and check on him in the middle of the night and turn the heater up or down based on if his hands and ears feel cold.

Last winter, had to wear a onsie, two shirts, a sleeper, and a pair of pants over that to stay warm at night. For some reason his room is the coldest in the house DESPITE it being the only vent open. Very weird.

Does your little guy play outside though, Joah? If it's just brief in-transit exposure, a coat isn't necessary, but down coat and snowpants were great for when sozlet was toddling around IN the snow, spending time outside when it's really cold.

Oh I totally agree. No, he can't walk yet, so he doesn't go outside. Either way, it's TOO cold in the winter to play outside. Well, if it's too cold for me ...lil J can't take himself outside

He goes to playgroups instead.

Aha! This month's Parenting magazine says:

"It's true: If your child gets chilled, he might catch cold. For decades, scientists have been saying there's no evidence for this. Well, now there is. Last year, researchers in Wales tested the age-old wisdom that being cold can bring on a cold. They found that those people whose feet they chilled for 20 minutes were significantly more likely to develop a cold over the next few days than those whose tootsies stayed warm and toasty. Chilling a person lowers immunity, explain the researchers. So if your child is already carrying a virus, his body will be less able to fight it off. And it's not just cold feet, says Ronald Eccles, Ph.D., lead author on the study - wet hair and soggy clothes likely dampen immunity, too."

(Any typos are mine - I just copied it off from the mag.)