Breastfeeding & weaning

I've got another question, but it might just fit here, the people who could answer seem to be around.

I have read several times: I like/love breastfeeding.

I have had a baby 4 months ago, and I knew even before I got pregnant, that I would never breastfeed.
Even the thought of it makes me sick.

Especially when you start talking about teeth.
Breast and nipples are such a sensitive part of the body, I couldn't let somebody without this understanding anywhere near them.

What is is you like about it.
What is there to like about it.
I don't get it.

And I am serious, I would like to get a serious answer, I don't need information on the benefits of breastfeeding!

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Bohne, I guess when I was preggers & preparing to breastfeed, it was a little freaky to me - I asked so many people: does it hurt, is it weird, etc. But once I started and I had learned to do it properly - I loved it. Sorry if it sounds cliched or corny - but it is more about the connection you feel with your child. Rather, I felt with mine. It really is the most incredible feeling ever. Ever. And I won't even get into the science/physiological reasons that make breastfeeding so awesome. There just isn't better baby food for a newborn, and why wouldn't I want to do the best for my kid... Simple.

Of course, that is not a judgement on you in any way - plenty of people feel the way you do. And, as I understand it, a whole generation of Americans was raised on formula not breastmilk, and they're perfectly healthy as well. Each to his own, I guess.

Kickycan, I'll find suitable pictures and post them for your learning benefit.

Joahaeyo...I'm going to respond to you in just a bit....M wants to learn to type as I'm writing this. Smile

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@heatwave: Thanks for your reply.
I suppose I will never find out for myself, but quite honestly, I am not sorry about it.

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Heatwave answers well.

There's also the pure convenience. I took care of my niece for a week when she was a newborn and her mother was in the hospital, unable to nurse or express milk. The whole formula thing took time -- oh she's hungry, prepare it, get the right temperature, etc. Infinitely easier to just whip out the boob at the first sign of hunger. Always fresh, always the right temperature, no clean-up.

The science reasons are quite valid and interesting too. Oxytocin is released when you breastfeed, which calms YOU down, and makes you happy. Great for when baby's crying and things are stressful.

Quote:

Besides attachment parenting helping the baby's hormones, it also helps the mother's body chemistry. Maternal behaviors, especially breastfeeding, result in an outpouring of the hormones prolactin and oxytocin. These "mothering hormones" act as biological helpers, giving moms motherly feelings. They may, in fact, be the biological basis of the concept of mother's intuition. Prolactin levels increase ten-to twenty-fold within thirty minutes after mother begins breastfeeding. Most of it is gone again within an hour. Prolactin is a short-acting substance, so to get the best response a mother must breastfeed frequently - which is what babies want anyway. Hormones are biological helpers that improve the behavior of the baby and the caregiving of the mother. Your choice in parenting style can make them work for you.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t131100.asp

Lots of benefits shown for skin-to-skin contact, too (as opposed to through clothes), which of course you can do even if you're not breastfeeding but which breastfeeding ensures.

In sum, I found that it made parenting much easier, on many different levels.

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I have the same reasons as the moms above.

I was freaked out by the idea of a baby latching onto my boob, so the first few months... I did it for benefits only. It hurt like hell, I didn't like it, and I didn't feel "closer" to my baby.

Then when the pain went away, all the joys of it came. I always got a sense of relief when I fed. Some of it because you feel the buildup in your breasts that you get a big "sighhhhhhhhh..." when it's feeding time. Then there was a break away from the day. My house is a zoo because we have a lot going on, and this was my quiet time. Things calmed down, and it was me and baby. It felt like the longer I did it, the more fulfillment I got out of it. I like that only "I" can give my baby milk. He wants me! Even with a bottle now, unless I'm giving it to him, he won't take it. ...which is not a problem for me since I'm a stay-at-home.

For me, it was never more convenient. A bottle would have been more convenient for me since I don't feel comfortable doing it in public, so I would always be removed from my group of friends/family temporarily. Overall, I think it was the benefits that made "me" do it.

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kickycan wrote:

It would be nice if this thread had some good breast pictures. Maybe some pictures of breasts both before and after breastfeeding? You know...for instructional purposes.

Alas, I don't know how to add pictures to a post. Sad

Will words suffice? Before: picture young nubile breasts rather like tangerines, the fruit high and round bouncing right out of reach. Then, the breastfeeding period, they swell up like giant melons with a nipple puckering out at about a 135* angle. Then, post breastfeeding: either they shrivel up (if breasts were small to begin with, rather like the raison after it's been a grape) or, they hang like skin socks w/the nipple where the toe would be if it were a sock... Shocked

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Brava, princesspupule. I'm abandoning my search for pics for kc's benefit...I doubt any would do justice to your words! Smile

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bohne,

Breast-feeding is such a personal choice that I applaud you on your stance and not feeling like you missed out on anything.

I breast fed both my girls and I have to say that determination made me do it. It hurt like hell and made me so frustrated in the beginning. It was a searing pain like nothing I've ever felt before nor since. I called it "seeing white" (worse than red). I would just sit and sob through the whole feeding. My nipples were torn and bleeding and that hour and a half between feedings would go by so quickly that I would have to ration which boob hurt less to have her eat again.
I saw the lactation consultant twice and they would say she was latched on correctly and it shouldn't hurt. It's a crock of ****. Many women experience this pain and NO ONE talks about it until you are experiencing it. (don't know why it is such a secret). It did get better almost three months later (yes I hung in there, fool that I am) and in the end I was glad I did it but I couldn't tell you why. (It's like running the marathon, I guess)

The second time around is a lot easier and is going a lot quicker. Both kids get eight months and that is enough. I was reading this two, three year plus thing and I have to say, if your kid can ask for it they are too old to get it.

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catwoman29 wrote:

bohne,

...

I was reading this two, three year plus thing and I have to say, if your kid can ask for it they are too old to get it.

Wow, you are right, I have never heard, that it is actually painful, rather than just uncomfortable.
And it is not common to find a breastfeeding mother who says 'I understand and it's OK'

I usually get the 'You are not giving your baby all you can' - talk, funny enough, lots of times from men.
They don't talk about the negative sides of breast-milk, either.
The fact that the 'artificial' milk has no contaminations (is that the rigth word) like breast milk.
I don't think it's really possible to say today which positive and which negatives sides weigh more.

What I really love (as a side-effect), is the fact, that I can turn around in the middle of the night, and let daddy get up!

Smile

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As a "just for the record," pain was not an issue for me. The first couple of days were difficult as we got established, then after that it was pleasurable if anything. One hesitates to say that about breasfeeding because people already get weirded out by oooh it's sexual or whatever... no it wasn't. But it was very very nice and not painful at all.

It's been established pretty definitely in a scientific sense that breastmilk is better for babies -- that's really not up for debate at this point. I'm not interested in browbeating anyone, just, as catwoman shows (welcome to A2K!), people come across these later on. So I add that for the person who is considering it and isn't sure. Not an issue for you, bohne, and glad things are working out well for you.

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This article from the New York Times has a good collection of information on the subject.

Excerpts:

Quote:

Public health leaders say the weight of the scientific evidence for breast-feeding has grown so overwhelming that it is appropriate to recast their message to make clear that it is risky not to breast-feed.

Ample scientific evidence supports the contention that breast-fed babies are less vulnerable to acute infectious diseases, including respiratory and gastrointestinal infections, experts say. Some studies also suggest that breast-fed babies are at lower risk for sudden infant death syndrome and serious chronic diseases later in life, including asthma, diabetes, leukemia and some forms of lymphoma, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Research on premature babies has even found that those given breast milk scored higher on I.Q. tests than those who were bottle-fed.

-snip-

Scientists who study breast milk almost all speak of it in superlatives. Even the International Formula Council, a trade association, acknowledges that breast-feeding "offers specific child and maternal health benefits" and is the "preferred" method of infant feeding. The American Academy of Pediatrics states in its breast-feeding policy that human breast milk is "uniquely superior for infant feeding."

Dr. Haynes, of the Health and Human Services Department, said, "Our message is that breast milk is the gold standard, and anything less than that is inferior."

Formula "is not equivalent," she went on, adding, "Formula is not the gold standard. It's so far from it, it's not even close."

-snip-

The protection that breast-feeding provides against acute infectious diseases - including meningitis, upper and lower respiratory infections, pneumonia, bowel infections, diarrhea and ear infections - has been among the most extensively studied of its benefits and is well documented, said Dr. Lawrence M. Gartner, chairman of the American Academy of Pediatrics' breast-feeding section.

Breast-fed babies have 50 percent to 95 percent fewer infections than other babies, Dr. Gartner said, adding, "It's pretty dramatic."

-snip-

The health benefits of breast-feeding may extend to mothers as well. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, extended breast-feeding reduces the risk of ovarian cancer and breast cancer. New studies have also found that women who breast-feed face a lower risk of adult-onset or Type 2 diabetes, and they seem to be at lower risk for osteoporosis later in life.

The emphasis in the article is on how strident the public health sector should be about recommending breastfeeding over formula. The article talks about warning labels on formula, etc. I think that's a bit much. But in the course of talking about that, there is a pretty good collection of the overwhelming evidence that breastfeeding is more beneficial.

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sozobe wrote:

As a "just for the record," pain was not an issue for me. The first couple of days were difficult as we got established, then after that it was pleasurable if anything. One hesitates to say that about breasfeeding because people already get weirded out by oooh it's sexual or whatever... no it wasn't. But it was very very nice and not painful at all.

^^ what Sozobe said - word for word.

To add: I actually went to a breast-feeding class before M was born. And they kept reiterating - if it hurts, you're not doing it right, if it hurts - you're not doing it right. I was little 'suspicious' at the emphasis they kept laying on that. But when it came to it - they were right on the money. The hospital where M was born had a La Leche League-affiliated maternal/breastfeeding center, offering free help/advice to new mothers. I asked for a consultant's visit the day M was born (I was worried that I wasn't going to have milk for her - forgetting all about colostrum in the post-partum haze). That was the BEST call I made. This absolutely awesome woman came by, held M with me, showed me how to latch her on, gave me tips - whatnot, and once I got used to the newness of it - it all just flowed along. Never once did it hurt.

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You guys are definitely lucky then!!! I went to a breastfeeding class, and because I was in the hospital for a week, I had a nurse always helping me latch. There was also an emphasis on latching correctly, and there shouldn't be pain. Of course the first couple of days is when it was the easiest. The milk hadn't come in, and there was no pain.

I never suffered from dry, irritated, or swollen nipples. My pain came from the milk coming in, and then the amount of milk I produced. It was on and off for 4 months. It would be equivalent to the pain you'd feel when you let down. Many moms said they felt this as well. It would swell my boobs and they would look like a ball with bumps all over it. I already pumped every 2 hours, but if I went a second longer, they would begin to cause lots of pain. Not to mention lil J drank from them like they had candy inside every 2 hrs.

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Yeah, I believe it happens. Catwoman said that she had a lactation person work with her, too. I do feel lucky that I didn't have any particular problems. Just wanted to get a voice in edgewise, that it's not that all women experience this pain and just keep quiet about it for some reason.

The main thing I've been reacting to though is this:

Quote:

I usually get the 'You are not giving your baby all you can' - talk, funny enough, lots of times from men.
They don't talk about the negative sides of breast-milk, either.
The fact that the 'artificial' milk has no contaminations (is that the rigth word) like breast milk.
I don't think it's really possible to say today which positive and which negatives sides weigh more.

Because I think it's very possible, and the evidence is pretty overwhelming for one (breastmilk) over the other (formula). BUT, I don't think formula-feeding is evil, and I understand that some people just can't breastfeed, or have a very difficult time when they try. I really hate to make those people feel guilty. Formula is fine, lots of kids grow up with it and turn out healthy and wonderful.

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I recently met a woman who started to have the same experience I did with breastfeeding. She told me her lactation consultant told her about "tied tongues".
It is when the baby's tongue is connected too far down. It usually corrects itself a couple months after the baby is born (or so I am told). So, she opted to have the tongue cut and problem solved. I had never heard of this before and I wondered if that was the problem I had with my first daughter.

On a side note, I am happy for all of you who have had an easy time of it and tell you you're lucky! However, I would say that most of the people (95+%) I know had painful problems ie. bleeding though the nipples, broken or torn nipples, painful let-down, etc. And I will say that most of those (95+%) didn't say a word about it until I talked to them about my experience. It would have been nice to know sooner.

As for giving your baby the best when it comes to breast milk...formula does not have any champagne in it Very Happy

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[quote="catwoman29"]As for giving your baby the best when it comes to breast milk...formula does not have any champagne in it Very Happy

[/quote]

That's something that can be helped... Very Happy

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It was supposed to be a joke Surprised

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[quote="catwoman29"]It was supposed to be a joke Surprised

[/quote]

ditto!

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So, I just found a brilliant set of tips from askdrsears.com. Posting it here in case there're others in my situation - I found it very helpful. Good, practical advice:

http://askdrsears.com/html/7/t070800.asp

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Hard to believe that it was November when I got on my 'weaning' wagon last.

Well, things are getting down to the wire now. Next month, I have to be at a large conference out-of-town. It spans over a full week, and my boss and I are the two people completely in-charge of it. It will be an intense, 6 AM - 9 PM EVERY day, week.

B (my husband) and I have been cogitating over how to best take care of M while I have to be away. At first, we thought we'd ask sis-in-law to accompany and be M's sitter all day. But, M's notoriously stranger-anxious and sis-in-law has never changed a diaper in her life (perfectly, sweetly willing though she is to learn). We just can't find it in us to dump M & sis-in-law on each other. Then we tried to find a local daycare who'd keep M for the day - but none in the vicinity of the conference seem to be licensed with looking after babies under 2 years of age. We're both leery of finding local nannies - out of town unknowns and such.

SO. We ended up: let's wean M off breast & mommy, and leave her at home with Daddy. She would have the 'constants' of daycare in the daytime, and daddy & home in the evening. I'm gone Mon-Friday for the conference, so will be back home for the weekend anyway.

We're going to start the process this Saturday, with exactly FOUR WEEKS to go before I leave for the conference. I'm PRAYING that B doesn't change his mind (he's a full-time student & has tremendous school pressure), because I sure as hell cannot do this by myself.

M just had her 18-mo well visit - and I asked her doc about the best way of doing it. I told her I was thinking of first putting M in her own bed, and then starting the weaning process (hoping to stagger the twin-traumas of 1) not sleeping with daddy mommy & 2) no comforting breast juice). The doc, however, was of the opinion that doing the two together is the better way to go (b/c M really needs to be able to sleep by herself w/o the breast). B agrees. So this Saturday it is. *Insert huge sigh*

Wish us luck.

Will update.

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