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Sat 16 Sep, 2006 12:54 pm
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
4. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near fu ture.
5. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is, like, sending off all these r eally bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance you perform just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature.
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Hemispere
An African weapon with a high-performance motor.
Matchismo -- that feeling of male superiority one gets by striking a wooden match on one's thumbnail.
Crepusculiar -- One who is prone to prevaricate during filtered light.
Merry Andrew wrote:Matchismo -- that feeling of male superiority one gets by striking a wooden match on one's thumbnail.
I thought it was the aptitude to fit together...
Francis wrote:Merry Andrew wrote:Matchismo -- that feeling of male superiority one gets by striking a wooden match on one's thumbnail.
I thought it was the aptitude to fit together...
No, that's 'interlockutor.' (Keep trying, Frannie.
)
uterdus -- the principal agent in the expulsion of feces.
gondoliar -- a Venice water-taxi driver who deliberately misrepresents the amount of the fare.
Canspiracy - Stealing packs of beer.
Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.
rentipede: any of various wormlike creatures who rent an apartment with no intention of paying rent
lymp node: a node that can't maintain an erection
déja moo -- the odd feeling that you've heard this bull before.
ycleptomaniac: identity thief
blamless -- a firearm that won't fire
some musical terms
Frugalhorn;
a sensible and inexspensive brass instrument
Allregretto:
When you are 16 bars into a piece and realize you took too fast a tempo
cold snore -- the weird sounds that a sufferer of a head cold makes when trying to sleep.
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