i think were having an emotional affair

How about intense, prolonged cerebral "affairs"?

Mostly all of us are always against affairs. And in this case I certainly am (waiting til the parties grow up a bit)

but I'm not such a generalizer on this.
I didn't have one myself in my long marriage. As is the general wisdom here, I would have left first, somehow.

On the other hand, I did have an affair with a married guy when I was single that I'm not sorry for. It was always what it was. Not marriage shaking by any means, but not nothing. I won't elaborate on that.

I agree with folks here most of the time, but am chary of cut and paste behavior realms. Several of our members are happy now having broken some sorta rules.

NOt sure exactly what you're referring to there at the last bit, osso.

Re: EMOTIONAL AFFAIR


Yes it is. You want him. You've already admitted it. We didn't forget!



Is that why you married your husband and had a child, because he showed you interest?



He already knows how you feel. And he likes you too, but he is trying to honor the relationship he has with his wife.

Snood, I don't wish to be more plain, people's posts are sort of private - even if ostensibly public - to me, however I act out off the cuff.

Oh boy.

Yah Me and Not Getting Married yet!!

This sort of situation is so common. Without being a total bitch: did you put on weight or something? Feel unattractive, need a boost?

At least go for a guy with some money to throw around. A tow truck driver who is paying for a kid n' wife?!

I think you're just being lazy, frankly. In all respects.

Just be honest with yourself and be a grown up already.

NO YOU DONT SOUND LIKE A BITCH, I APPRECIATE EVERYONES ADVICE BELIEVE ME I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO. ANYWAY NO I DIDN'T GAIN WEIGHT, I DONT FEEL UNATRACTIVE, IT DOES FEEL NICE HOWEVER FOR SOMEONE TO SEEM LIKE THEY REALLY ENJOY BEING AROUND YOU, I TO RESPECT THE MARRIAGES WE BOTH SHARE, AND HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WITH THIS GUY ITS BEEN A YEAR REMEMBER THAT THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON, I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE WANTS A FRIENDSHIP OR MORE. IAM THE ONE WHOS CONFUSED BELIEVE ME, ITS HARD FOR SOMEONE TO WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU ALONE AND THE NEXT MINUTE ACT LIKE IM JUST ANOTHER PERSON. WHICH I AGREE AND HAVE SAID TO HIM IF YOUR HAPPY WITH YOUR WIFE WHY DO WE ALWAYS END UP ALONE SITTING AND TALKING IN PARKING LOTS, HE SAID HE LIKES MY COMPANY. I DONT KNOW IM JUST UPSET. THANKS FOR LISTENING

Nich, have you had guy friends before? Like, just plain friends, no overtones?

Sometimes when I've felt myself getting crushy with a guy I like and who is not available (and/or when I've been unavailable) I think, "would I like him as much if he were exactly the same personality but happened to be a woman?" If the answer is "yes," then I go ahead and have a friendship, same as I would if he happened to be a woman.

If there are too many crushy overtones though or if the attraction is the main reason I want to be around him, I get outta there.

NICH--

His behavior is confusing. Perhaps like you, he craves a little romance but doesn't want to complicate his marriage.

Great advice, sozobe. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!

THANKS SOZOBE THATS GOOD ADVICE, JUST TO UPDATE I WENT GROCERY SHOPPING ON SAT, OF COURSE I HAD TO RUN INTO HIM, ITS WIERD EVERYWHERE I GO I SEE HIM. BUT WERE BACK AT WORK TODAY AND HES ALREADY SNIFFING MY GOODIE BAG AGAIN, AND YOU KNOW WHAT IM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR IT

NICH--

Affairs don't stop problems. Affairs start trouble.


Glad to know you can draw the line between fun and flirtatious--it is important distinction.