Oh! Yes, I've got a cold, and that makes me a teeny whee bit cantankerous.
I'm sorry to hear that, Jane. I'm feeling great myself.
I FEEL SO ALIVE!!!
How come? You finally had sex?
Yep. My hand is killing me.
....and the Brits are killing the rest of you tomorrow.
You derailed their thread.
I live to annoy the Brits. That is the sole purpose of my existence.
YOu're trying to polish your bad boy image?
I bet I could kick the crap out of Lord Ellpus. I could even do it with one hand tied behind my back.
Oh yeah, I can see it very vividly now. Gustav and Ellpus in the ring.....
Notice who's standing? I rest my case.
Yeah, the blonde Brit. The Yank' is sitting and sniveling.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:I bet I could kick the crap out of Lord Ellpus. I could even do it with one hand tied behind my back.
Having one hand tied behind one's back makes absolutely no difference to the effectiveness of the typically Colonial style of reverting to the gutter tactic of kicking. Very unqueensbury.
I therefore make a formal request that the mad German farmer has one leg tied behind his back, before entering the ring.
smorgs wrote:Because I'm ill calam... HAD to get up!
x
you didnt take daddy's advice did you silly girl
paracetemols prevent hangovers, they dont relieve them
Would someone be kind enough to direct Americans of German extraction to a thread more appropriate to their vivacious wit. It is totally beyond the comprehension of us thick Brits.
Thank you.
But before you go, Gus, I have some old sauerkraut that you can take with you.
It's a bit like cabbage, I think, and appears to be a bit pickled.
As some of you know, I went to a party last night and got absolutely rat-legged (don't know what the hell that means, but it's in common usage round these parts).
Twas a comedy of errors - it really was...
First I wrecked my bedroom looking for something to wear. Then I went to pick my friend (Linda) up - and her hubby. Stopping at the 'offy' on the way to pick up some Vino. Whilst in there Linda phoned me to ask where I was as it was late. The reception on my phone wasn't good and I had to keep repeating "I'm in Boozbusters" in a loud voice in front of smirking customers.
Came back to mine for a little 'lubrication' then walked over to the party. They were having a bbq in the garden, it was quite dark and the first thing I did was fall over the end of a childs slide, flat on my face and had to be helped up!
Then Linda nearly decapatated herself on the washing line... H&S executive would have a field day at that party. So we decided to go to the far end of the garden where we could sit on a low wall - we were drunk by now. And wanted to keep out of harms way and avoid the stuffies.
Then mine host gave us plates of food and left us to it. After a couple of drunken dances, which we had to indulge in as we spent 10 minutes shouting 'get some disco on' in drunken banshee voices emanating from the dark end of the garden.
I swear this is true: We sat down to eat our food, I said to linda 'Mmmm, steak and mushroom butties' I was about to put a particularly large mushroom in my mouth (it is a finger buffet) when I felt the 'mushroom - UNDULATE!!! I shouted at Linda "I've just nearly ate a fecking slug!"
So then we ran round in small circles screaming "euwwwww" and we both fell over - well she went first and took me with her.
Lindas husband came over and insisted we went home! He walked us over to mine and then went back to join the party. Me and Linda danced and drank for another hour, till we both collapsed on my bed. I remember Linda's hubby coming in the room to get Linda... I remember saying something like "sozzy about the mess".
I feel very ill today - and will never drink again.
Just had a text of Linda saying she has lost one of her shoes...
x
To be so drunk as to require a designated walker speaks volumes as to the extent of your intoxication, smorgs.
