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THE BRITISH THREAD

 
 
smorgs
 
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 07:18 am
Following on from the 'How many Brits are there are A2K' thread...

Me and The Good Lord have been chatting about recent events in the U.K. We were thinking it might be a good idea to start a Brit thing on here (we are not legion, it seems).

It's not that we think it is necessary to have a 'Brit-Centric' thing going on, it's just what might be boring and uninteresting to Americans (and others) may be of interest to UK'ers.

For instance...

I am interested in what newspapers you read...

I read whatevers going free at work (usually the Security Guards Daily Mirror), but I simply MUST get The Guardian on Saturdays.

Did anyone get it this Saturday, with the comedians in classic photographic poses? I thought it was brilliant!

Does anyone listen to Wogan in the mornings, are you a TOG? I am a fully fledged TOG and have had Terry chuckling once or twice with my emails (under the name of smorgs).

Jokes I heard this weekend:

A woman walked into a pub and asked the Landlord for a double-entendre, so he gave her one!

A man walked into a Pet Shop and asked to buy a wasp. "We don't sell wasps" said the assistant. The man said "You're lying, there's one in the window".
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On a more serious note: Another shooting in Moss Side (15 year old boy), which is not 10 minutes away from where I live...

What are your thoughts about the increase in gun crime in the U.K.

Did anyone hear that there is a Rwandan war criminal living in Baguley, Manchester (around the corner from me) claiming Asylum under a different name? Responsible for thousands of deaths... How can that be?

Happy to post link for anyone interested.
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I'd be interested in your views on starting this thread - and of course, like A2K, this thread is not exclusive to any Nationality - ALL are welcome.

smorgs
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 08:53 am
MARVELLOUS!

Having a thread for Brits will at least give me something to read up on when I log on in the mornings, as opposed to wandering round the place looking for "night owl" Americans, or Chinese students who need questions answered.

The other day, there was only me and some newbie who I'd never heard of. TWO people on the whole of A2K!! I was very tempted to do a spot of streaking.
I shall now post any snippet of weird and wonderful Brit stuff here when I see something.

....and the occasional serious post, of course.
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 09:10 am
Though I'm not British (but born in what was the British Zone and of another nationality, which makes me double qualified), I read some English and Scottishpapers:
- The Guardian, the Manchester Evening News, the Evening Standard and on Sunday The Observer in their print versions.

The Independent's and The Harlow Star's online versions plus whatever I find wheresoever of interest.

Sometimes, a Scottish paper as well (online and/or print version).
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Dorothy Parker
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 09:10 am
Hey fellow Brits. Can I be really insensitive and tell a Steve Irwin joke?

Whe asked what his favorite childhood TV programmes were, Steve Irwin replied "Well I loved Thunderbirds but Stingray will always have a place in my heart"

sorry about that if anyones offended (only in the UK could I have been told this approximately 12 hours after his death)

x
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 09:35 am
Well, it IS the Brit thread, DP, and it's very common to have these type of jokes bandied around very soon after a major event.

I think it's a sort of inbuilt coping mechanism...finding humour in tragedy and all that.



One I heard a long time ago (although not about a tragic event, it was very topical at the time) was........


Q. Which 18 stone man rode the Grand National winner?

A. Lester Piggott's cellmate.


(Lester Piggott - a very famous English jockey had just been jailed for tax evasion)
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oldandknew
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 09:42 am
Smorgs - An interest idea of yours. A little self contemplation is often needed, if only too prove to our selves that we as indeviduals are no more fireproof that anyone else.
UK society takes many things for granted, expecting to get anything we want. We have affluence on the one hand, debt on the other.
We have the 4th or 5th richest economy in the world. What deoes that mean to Mr & Mrs Joe Public ? It means spend up to your credit limit, get a new bank loan & start agin.
Our population is now 60million & rising. We have immigrants from the world over crawling out of the woodwork , climbing out of our ears. Most have much too offer us, as employees & as creaters Makes me smile when I think back to the mid 1950s, when I lived in Wimbledon & saw my first black face. Within a year such faces were 2 a penny. Fifty years later & by coming to the UK, this motley crew from the world over, Eastern Europe, Africa, Asia, The Amercas & Afro Caribean have made this island of ours a very interesting & diverse society. The new population, for the most part, have brought new ideas, skill, foods, language, newspapers, artisic ideas & sports as well as a labour force. The one bone of contention that is slithering its slimey hatred thru our towns & cities are those narrow thinking mindbenders who would have a race war on our hands if they could. Such troublemakers are pathetic.
I have never subscribed to bigotry or racism. It is a negative non productive enterprise. A half empty jug as opposed to a half full jug
Where there are problems, the outside chance of streetfighting or gunslingerss & suicide bombers, we should call on our various leaders and spokesmen "to bang a few heads together"
1've stopped reading newspapers earlier this year, for the simple reason that a lot of the time they cannot be believed.
I'm all for immigration, integration & inspection..............................
WE ARE NOT INDUSTRIAL OR CULTURAL LUDDITES
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 10:20 am
oldandknew wrote:
Makes me smile when I think back to the mid 1950s, when I lived in Wimbledon & saw my first black face.


Already in 1595 (sic!) Queen Elsabeth wrote to the "London City Council" that there were too many black in the city and still even more arriving ...

(source: Ackroyd's Biography of London)
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djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 11:23 am
as a citizen of the former empire, i am happy to join your wonderful thread

i don't read any Brittish newspapers but i do read several other publications

Viz, Private Eye and in the good old days Punch, on the music side mixmag, Uncut, NME, Q, DJ Magazine, Mojo, and a few years back Ministry and Select

listen to BBC radio 1 and 4 often, love the Essential Mix on 1 and the comedies and documentaries on 4 (Hamish and Dougal, Mapping the Town)

love Brittish TV as well, Coronation Street, Heartbeat, Born and Bred, The Last of the Summer Wine, A touch of Frost, Hetty Wainthrope Investigates, Waiting for God, Take the HIgh Road, The Royal, Paradise Lodge, Fawlty Towers, The Thin Blue Line, Blackadder, Father Ted

there's a bunch more i can't think of now
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smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 11:36 am
I hear you oldandnew... and fully agree with the sentiments expressed.

I remember when we got the first black girl at my convent - we were actually excited, I had personally NEVER met a black person until 1970!


djjd, Viz and Private Eye are faves of mine too. Along with Extras (new series next week), Little Britain etc...

I read Word magazine recycled from my brother, The Manchester Evening News and usually The Big Issue.

Ellpus, I remember a Lester joke:

Lester Piggot asked one of the Prison officers to put a bet on for him, the Officer said "Do you want to pay the tax or do an extra week?"

(fnar fnar)

x
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 11:47 am
smorgs wrote:

I remember when we got the first black girl at my convent - we were actually excited, I had personally NEVER met a black person until 1970!


I saw the first black person in the early 50's - we had British troops here.
(I saw more, when we drove on holidays in the "American zone".)

Since I've been visiting the UK from 1963 onwards, I became used it.

A somehow funny aside: the day after my parents got married in 1945, they decided to make a pilgrimage to a close-by village to thank that such could happen in those days. And because there'd been a reserve army hospital in the next town, my father thaught it to be a good idea to ask there for orders (he's been an army surgeon and 'lost' his old unit).
On the way there, about 3 miles away from home, my mother asked my father, if that was now really one of the long announced of Hitler's secret weapons. And she got quite upset when father threw her (and himself and the bikes) after a short look in the ditch: it was an US jeep with black soldiers.

Two days later, my mother became familiar with black people ... since some divisional headquarters were in our house. [Father left then .... three years POW.]
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smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 11:53 am
My Grandad was a POW, my Dad served in Aden, my Mum was in the WRAF's. My cousin actually served for two years in the French Foreign Legion!

Mum still walks like she's square bashing!

Are you located in GB now, walter?

x
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 11:56 am
Not at all - I'm only trying to move up UK-torists numbers now and then and to be a friendly host to British guests the other time.


Well, at least for some weeks/year :wink:
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Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 12:02 pm
The first black person I ever met, was a girl in my class at Senior school, called Yvonne. Bloody funny she was, and eventually became a Doctor. She remained a good friend of mine up until she went away to Medical College....then I saw here here and there for the next few years, before she qualified and went off to the USA.

I wonder where she is now.....?
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smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 12:03 pm
Have you tried Friends reunited?

x

PS I'm knackered, are you?
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 12:06 pm
smorgs wrote:
Have you tried Friends reunited?

x

PS I'm knackered, are you?



Friends reunited!! You clever Manc, you.!!

I have always wanted to google Yvonne, but she never let me.


Yes.
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Steve 41oo
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 12:10 pm
Lord Ellpus wrote:
The first black person I ever met, was a girl in my class at Senior school, called Yvonne. Bloody funny she was, and eventually became a Doctor. She remained a good friend of mine up until she went away to Medical College....then I saw here here and there for the next few years, before she qualified and went off to the USA.

I wonder where she is now.....?
Did you **** her? Sorry no wish to be personal, just curious.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 12:11 pm
Steve 41oo wrote:
Lord Ellpus wrote:
The first black person I ever met, was a girl in my class at Senior school, called Yvonne. Bloody funny she was, and eventually became a Doctor. She remained a good friend of mine up until she went away to Medical College....then I saw here here and there for the next few years, before she qualified and went off to the USA.

I wonder where she is now.....?
Did you **** her? Sorry no wish to be personal, just curious.


No Steve, I was a good boy. Had a thirty second dalliance once, behind the bike sheds.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 12:14 pm
Lord Ellpus wrote:
No Steve, I was a good boy. Had a thirty second dalliance once, behind the bike sheds.


Obviously THE place for all good boys ...
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smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 12:16 pm
My computer (in case you're interested) Just practising photos, ignore the date...

[img]http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l290/smorgs777/PIC_0028.jpg[/IMG]
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 12:24 pm
Trying to ignore the date Laughing
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