THE BRITISH THREAD

second that cj

For E's a jolly good fellow
For E's a jolly good fellow
etc

That was bloody obvious from the moment you hatched on a2k my Lord.

I think here is a salutory lesson for us all. We might be pissing about, having a laugh, having a drink maybe, we dont mean half what we say and anyway its only cyberjunk...

yet WORDS MATTER. Be careful how you use them.

Okay then Steve-

What's a nice bloke then? Let's say when the ship's going down.

Or the plane's been hi-jacked.

Or the house is on fire?

Or you shopping for new curtains.

Say.

If you can't define it you can hardly agree with the statement because we know His Lordship is a bloke.

And I'm not sure he "bared" his soul either. Not like Bernie did after he woke from being dead. I feel fairly sure that if he bared his soul A2K might have gone meltabout never mind the thread. Did you see that young lady he showed himself feeling up in the pic a while back. You wouldn't want to be baring your soul after getting your hands on a lady as sweet as she looked. I hated him after that. I remember actually crying.

He said the chap in the background was him.

Actually Steve, you probably have more influence with him than I have so how's about asking him to put it up on this ace British thread of our smorgsy's. She was very English Rose if you know what I mean. Much too good for him. It would be a nice picture to have on this lovely thread we English gentlefolk have got going and perhaps encourage smorgsy to follow suit. And there's Dottie too.

I bet both of them are gorgeous examples of the glorious English Rose type one of which is said to be born every minute. An hour at most I should think.

I'm sorry about your holiday arrangement beind sent awry Mathos.

I have hinted to you that the couch is the best place.

Here's a tip, just in case it doesn't go smoothly. Cram as much usable cash into a cigar tube, it can be a large one in your case, and shove it up your arse before you get off the plane. If they look too bad. If things go smoothly you won't need it.

Hey- if you got arrested for looking suspicious and I was posting a pile of stuff on the Trivia threads whilst you were in a cage hanging off a tree branch 10,000 miles from civilisation they might be satisfied that we are not one and the same.

I bet they would claim it was a stunt.

Sorry to disappoint but it really is about one each minute.

60 000 000 of Englishman, 525 600 minutes per year, natality rate 10.71/1000, equal about one per minute..

Hi Francis, nice to have a sane French voice in these parts

Hi, Steve!

Today I had lunch with Steve, who is in France for a few days. He lives 25 miles from Birmingham.

Great album - Carlos Santana thought so much of Black Magic Woman he covered it damned near riff-for-riff, and Albatross stands as one of the most sublime blues instrumentals ever. Almost hard to believe Mick Fleetwood and Peter Greene weren't native Chicago boys.

No wonder Spendi reckons you egg heads from the ID thread are daft!

Yeah timber.

We know. Very nice. You can smooch to some of it. But it's not so good for swinging them into the corners waltzing to the Palm Court lot to get them dizzy so they don't know whether they are shaking their heads up and down or sideways.

Santana was Dylan's back up on a tour I saw some of. He keeps good time.

Oh- I nearly forgot--Albatross is pure ID. No science can explain why you like that.

I've only 2 mins here. I can hear my bath being filled.

There's about 300,000 inchoate English Roses born every year. It's not enough I know.

And there's 365 x 24 x 60 minutes in a year. Is that half a million about?

Cripes!!

You can hear it being filled, do you have a maid as well Spendi?

On and off.

There are some excellent east European girls available for work as domestics and maids. Apparently it is quite legal to offer them a job with food and accomodation plus a wage based on the above benefits. You might even be able to claim some brownie points on your tax return as well.

I had heard that there are some east European girls available for work as domestics and maids but I didn't know they are excellent.

Have you tested a statistically valid sample?

What points would you be looking for in your grading scheme?

We need to start with the looks and general chassis structure.


Hair

General appearance in supporting roles to position as domestic.

Command of the English language

Willingness to keep life simple and un-problematical.

Horse riding skills.

Willingness to please.


There will be more of course, but the essential basics one would be looking for have perhaps been covered. Would you care to add?


A colleague of mine who resides in St Johns Wood London, has had an extremely beautiful young lady from the eastern Bloc as his maid for four years now. She is outstanding in all aspects.

Did you know that a bloke called Jack Crapp played for England at cricket.

From Google-



He fielded at first slip usually as he had quick reactions. You have to be quick to catch the fizzers. He sometimes fielded at silly point but only on rain sodden sideways turners when the fast bowlers had scuffed up a big patch outside the off stump. But that was, of course, before pitches were covered and matches often ended too quickly for enough money to be extracted from the pockets of the workers.

Actually "crap" is only a word for **** because some bloke called Crapper invented a new way of keeping the smell below bourgeoise levels of aesthetic tolerance in the mid-19th century.

The essential feature of a toilet, on which the structure of world cities depends, was invented by Sir John Harrington in 1496 and which quatro-centenery went completely un-noticed by all but a few. The first model he made was installed in the the back chambers of a close relation of his who is known to history as Queen Elizabeth 1.

Setanta can tell you all about her doings.

Sir John was so much of a lad that he was expelled from court circles for a while for offences too obvious to relate in such a short post as this. It was rumoured that it had something to do with kitchen maids but I can't vouch for that. I wouldn't dream of blackguarding a dead man's reputation on such flimsy hearsay evidence as a rumour.

Which begs a question. What did "crap" mean as a name before Crapper invented a refinement of Sir John's important strategic insight and gave his name to the language.

It's posh to say "The John". It shows you know your history and hints that your genes are out of the top drawers. Only hints mind you.

One of a long line of crap English cricketers!

Not forgetting the immortal line

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey."