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THE BRITISH THREAD

 
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 11:59 am
spendius wrote:
And then you express surprise at my choice of lifestyle.

Women are no longer worth bothering with just for a momen't glory.

Two surveys I saw.

Sex is once a week once the honeymoon is over fading to once a month in fairly short order and confined to anniversaries etc when treats have been purchased thereafter.

Sex lasts 7 and a half minutes in the UK and 7 minutes in the US.

And conversation is abysmal.


spends, you bugger!

You know that's not true! An intelligent man like you, spouting nonsense like that, get a grip man... most women I know are great, and give great non-boring oral. Just 'cos you don't have the aural capacity to appreciate an alternative viewpoint, don't mean you're right!

It's just the word 'feminist' you object to, I'm sure at heart you agree with all the basic principles.

You're such a naughty boy sometimes, you need a good...

x
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 12:18 pm
Just penned an erudite, insightful yet sexy message to spends about the 'laydee nonsense' he keeps coming out with...

It was really witty as well! Had words like oral and aural in...

And I nearly managed to get a really big word in - superkalifragellisticexpealidosious.

Then it bleeding threw me out! Bugger!

'I'll never have that recipe again, oh nooooooo'

x
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 12:21 pm
ooops Embarrassed
0 Replies
 
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 12:33 pm
smorgs wrote:
Then it bleeding threw me out! Bugger!


If you ever write another erudite and insightful message, only to find A2K "threw you out" (which it didn't in this case), just hit the BACK button on your browser. You ought to find your message intact.
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 12:36 pm
D'ya know Tico...

Your a bloody mine of useful information.

x
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 12:42 pm
smorgs wrote:
Can't take credit Mac, but just for the record, my advert would read:

40-ish, beautiful, feminist, free spirit, new age, passionate, voluptuous woman, seeks soulmate for country walks, chips in bed, travel and adventure. No timewasters, must love dogs.

Any takers?

x


I like adventure in bed, and chips while travelling...will that do?

I'm willing to compromise though........
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 12:54 pm
How about 'for chips and adventures'?

x
0 Replies
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 01:15 pm
McTag wrote:
It's amazing how many surnames you can get from (old) occupations

Farmer, Groom, Shepherd, Grieve
Skinner, Tanner, Sadler, Cooper
Fisher, Smith, Cook, Gardener
Thatcher, Joyner, Waller, Carpenter
Taylor, Weaver, Carver, Mason
Clark, Scrivener, Sawyer, Planer
Driver, Millward, Turner, Coleman
Plater, Potter, Merchant, Baker


That's a very interesting theme you started there, McTag

-You think so, mate? kind of you to say so. I wasn't sure if folks would go for it, like

Oh Yeah! It's fascinatin'. Kind of interestin', if you get my drift. You think there are any more, maybe?

-Well, there might be a few. Lessee, now

Slater, Glover, Fuller, Wright
Forester, Warriner, Tinker, Roper
Collier, Cutler, Lister! Hah, that's a good one! Geddit?

Okay maybe you can stop now.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 01:24 pm
McT, I went to school with a Stephen Gobbler.

I wonder what his family trade was?

Others.......


Peter Manley ( he turned out to be gay.)

Shaun Barber always made me smile.

Victor Fountain......I never had the courage to witness whether he could or not.

Dick Trimmer (seriously) should have changed faith and become a Rabbi, methinks.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 01:26 pm
smorgs wrote:
How about 'for chips and adventures'?

x


As long as it's not "adventures with chips", as we'd have to wait a bit, until they cooled.
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 01:42 pm
Mac!!!

I replied!

Ellpus, I used to have a boyfriend called David Darling and I really wanted to marry him... just for the name! AND he was a right twirp.

Lady smorgs Ellpus - has a certain ring... don't you think?

x
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 02:35 pm
Bloody Hell!

Stuart Pearce taking on the job of temprary manager of England's under 21's!? Shocked And MCFC only 13th in the....Premership? How the hell's he going to give his full attention to City now?

Did you like that? Laughing

Did I sound like' pundit?

I'll just go and hack me tits off with a rusty machete now.

x
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 02:43 pm
Talking football, Sarahg?

Blimey!

I suppose we'll have to reciprocate now, and discuss the virtues of waterproof mascara or something.
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 03:35 pm
Tampax Tampax Tampax

...just re-feminising the thread.

Our periods should be in sync now, just like groups of women who work together, to do with hormones and fings like that...

x
0 Replies
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 04:32 pm
Have you been at the sauce, Smorgie?

I think this thread needs a chairperson. I vote Spendius should be the last person considered. :wink:
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 06:04 pm
Well Mac-

Chairpersons are supposed to calm down the fighting factions.

And I like fighting.

So you are probably correct in your assessment as you are in all other aspects of life.
0 Replies
 
Steve 41oo
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 06:08 pm
McTag wrote:
Have you been at the sauce, Smorgie?

I think this thread needs a chairperson. I vote Spendius should be the last person considered. :wink:
Laughing 'pendi's not a chair. or a person. well I suppose thats a bit unfair, he has certain qualities...yeah ok Chairman Spends it is. Just dont give us any Cultural Revolutionary stuff Chairman MaoSpend. Or I'll chew en lai on ya.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 06:26 pm
spendius wrote:
msolga- did you not see my report last week on talking to three in the pub for nearly two hours?


No, I didn't spendius.
(I tend to drop in & out of this thread lately. A2K glitches. It's hard to get around to all the threads one would like to visit, say nothing of post to many of them!)

Nearly two hours!
Well done!
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 06:28 pm
smorgs wrote:
Tampax Tampax Tampax

...just re-feminising the thread.

Our periods should be in sync now, just like groups of women who work together, to do with hormones and fings like that...

x


That good sense this woman speaks!
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Mon 29 Jan, 2007 06:58 pm
I think that deep inside the smorgsie slapper image is a sweet respectable lady trying to burst forth.

I think she would really like to be looking after a senior sanitation engineer with a PhD in ****-shifting and have waiting for him when he comes home from his struggles and torments a perfectly run establishment, a four course dinner all expertly prepared and be much grovelled to by the local tradespeople when fussing over the courgettes and best cuts and haggling with the dealers over the price of an antique computer table in a 4-bed detached with 2 loos, internal turd pipe, conservatory and shrubs in tubs type of set up somewhere in the precincts of the salubrious suburbs.

I think she thought men were too easy.

Underestimated them so to speak although I do understand how that is so tempting.

You will never catch old spendi underestimating anybody. Not even a workshy layabout with 8 pints inside him.

If happiness actually is, as the divine Marquis said, the extension of pleasure and there is a price to be paid for it, which he duly did, then I think the price paid by the wife of a senior sanitation engineer represents something of a bargain and getting a good bargain is one of the very sweetest pleasures I am told that a lady of refinement and sophistication can experience. What is a few minutes every now and again of what Julie Burchill (a real feminist) referred to on Newsnight once in the presence of her ex-husband, a mover and shaker no less, as a "little local irritation".

Maybe smorgsie should read Jane Austen again only not as a story but more as a real feminist scientific treatise on the best way to proceed having found oneself stuck, through no fault of one's own, as a female person within what Charles Darwin, and many others, have called The Struggle For Existence or The Survival Of The Fittest.

Subjectivity is all very well if you don't mind when the fan with the **** hitting it is only a few inches from your fissog.
0 Replies
 
 

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