THE BRITISH THREAD

I may be quite some time then, as I'll have to hop.



(bloody "critical errors" - aaaargh!)

OK, some ideas for smorgs to keep warm in bed......

Hot water bottles.

Two young Italian footballers.

Plastic lemonade bottles, filled with hot water and wrapped in tea towels.

Any more?

Hi Guys:
Here is something brittish to discuss: The turner prize.
What does anyone think of it, and especially this years winner Tomma Abts?
Rubbish? not art? art? Really good?

This is for an essay I am writing currently, so i will also post on the art forum, but Ive posted it on here because I want to know what the Brittish public think.

Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

and spendy,
'young ladies are so one dimentional.'

Im hurt.

bloody hell smorghsious

where are you living?

1960's Salford

want a shilling for the gas?

whats going on? Jesus you'z entitiled to be warm. What the **** goin on?

sorry but beer and outraged sense of coldness got the better of me

yes but what about the turner prize?

I don't believe we have ever discussed art before. But there's a first time for everything.
You should wait for Spendy to turn up, he's the local aesthete.

I bet Spendy's unmade bed could rival Tracey Emin's any time, although possibly not so fragrant.

http://www.egs.edu/faculty/emin/emin-tracey-emins-my-bed.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/htmlContent.jhtml?html=/archive/1999/10/25/nbed25.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/gallery/image/0,8543,-10604194503,00.html

Hey-

I've just seen Mr Cameron on the News saying "We've been telling them for years that they needed to build more prisons."

One presumes he means at least 8 years.

So!!

When they first told them all those years ago they must have done some thinktanking to get them the evidence for that proposal. Which could only be one thing I think.

And that is they knew that social forces were set in motion which were bound to lead to an increase in serious criminality. And their thinktanking was spot on.

Might it not have been better to do something about the social forces or, is it possible, perish the thought, that nobody can stop them once they are rolling like you can't stop the tide coming in.

My solution to the problem, and I offer this to Mr Reid for free, is this:

Since we don't have sufficient cells for the people who deserve to be in prison, and we can't afford to build more prisons, we have to free up cell space by different means. More radical means. We're talking blue-sky thinking here.

So it is necessary to kill all serious long-term prisoners. Start with the ones who are serial offenders. Prison does not rehabilitate anyway, and it's facile to suggest that it does.

Top the worst 10% (this unpleasant task could be privatised) and you've freed up 8,000 places at a stroke.

It's a win-win situation.

Hi Queenie,

Where have you been my sloe-eyed one?

It's nice to have some art introduced.

But I don't know anything about no prize-giving. A big racket I should imagine seeing as how I know how the artistic mind works. The public award proper prizes with their feet.

When I said that young ladies were one dimensional I was just trying to make our smorgsie feel a bit better. I really had in mind that they weren't so experienced. And I didn't mean all young ladies anyway and you are an obvious exception because you are an A2Ker and A2Kers are all perfect in each other's eyes. It's an agreement.

But those three I wrote about last night were 0.1 dimensional and they weren't all that young. They used four letter words freely but they were as prudish really as my old granny was-bless her.

Anyway- welcome back. I'm off t't pub now.

To the English cricket fans if there are any left These jokes are doing the rounds downunder presently, I trust you still have a sense of humour.

The English cricket board are making a help-line available for disillusioned fans who are disappointed with their team's 'shock'
crushing by Australia in the 2006/2007 Ashes Tour.

The help-line number is 1800 10 10 10

That's 1800 won nothing won nothing won nothing!!!
----------------------------------------------------

Question: What is your wife trying to tell you if she's wearing a English cricket shirt to bed?

Answer: You ain't gonna score!!!
----------------------------------------------------

Question: What is the difference between England and an arsonist?

Answer: An arsonist wouldn't waste that many matches...

Still witless I see.

And after all this time too.

It must be the extremes of weather or being cut off to the lower right of the Chinese mainland.

What's your wife trying to tell you if she's wearing an Australian cricket shirt to bed?

I understand darling. It must take a lot out of you being so good.

You could argue for topping airline travellers in order to save us boring stay at homes from having to listen to their sad stories when they condescendingly decide to allow us the benefit of their company again. Saving the planet would be a bonus.

If it's modern art Pentacle Queen , then it's probably wank. But that's just my un-cultured opinion. I prefer art that's nice to look at and done by someone with a real talent for drawing / painting if u know what i mean?

x

Yah, nice opinion! But i can't write that in my essay.
what does anyone else think?
Im hvaing real diffuculty finding opinions on this.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh, and i agree with whoever said kill all the prisoners who aren't gonna be released. They would probably rather die anyway.

I find the trick-art of so-called BritArt to be distressing. I've looked at it, I've thought about it, but I don't get it. Maybe it's because I refuse to get it.

Last year's winner was a plain white-painted room with a light switch in it, and a single lightbulb.
You went in, you switched on the light.

Art? No thanks.

Go spendy
Go spendy

Your last two posts were pure comedy, I thank you!

P Queen, Modern Art, bloody Modern Art? I would love to give you an informed, cultured opinion that would be of some use to you, but I can't... must be 'cos I'm from the frozen North. I find it meaningless, without beauty and tedius in the extreme. Yet I stayed for hours at The Hogarth exibition at the Whitworth Gallery in Manchester? Go figure? I really try to like Modern Art, but to me it's like the emporer's new clothes, just because 'they' say we must like it, with the assumption that if we don't we are lacking culture, doesn't mean we should. But having said that, there are many contemporary artists around who produce beautiful and meaningful work. My brother in law is an artist of some merit, he's a cubist, I like some of his work, but that's probably because I like HIM very much. I blame the camera obscura, set us on the road to modernism, things were never the same once perspective became accurate.

Stevie, yes I feel like I'm living in some early black and white BBC documentary about poverty in Manchester 'Sarah Come Home'. It has it's funny moments though, like coming in the living room to find my daughter on the PC wearing pyjamas, dressing gown, coat, boots and a very fetching 'ethnic' hat on, with long earflaps....oh, and a scarf!

But in the words of the late, great Sam Cooke:

Change gonna come...

Thanks for your concern, laughing keeps you warm.

x

Spendy, you must be eagerly awaiting the return of Mathos so he can regale you with a fresh clutch of travellers' tales.

It was my ambition when leaving paid employ to travel a bit more, try to see a bit more of the world.. Now I realise the folly, shortsightedness and indeed selfishness of this aim. Thank goodness I read the Gospel according to Spendy in time :wink:

I'm smiling like mad!

Got an offer! A fantastic three bedroomed house on a lovely quiet road, right opposite Mersey Valley Nature Reserve. Which means I can have my Dad's old dog now (Bumble - border collie).

Spoke to the old guy next door who'd been there 50 years, said 'there was no better place to live', he just wished there were more children around...

When I was looking through the windows, I thought just wait 'till I tell the BT'ers.

The only better offer I could have would be to elope with Ellpus to Old Amersham.

x