THE BRITISH THREAD

Evenin' peeps!

I have vision!

Got my new vari-focals.

They make me walk funny - but it's great to see again.

...and you're all lookin' good.

x

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Ha! I can see you in focus now! Hope you're feeling better generally, smorglet.

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Yes, how's it going, Smoggles, our hostess with the mostest.

I went with the intention of seeing Borat at the cinema today but it wasn't on, I got the day wrong after they cancelled my dentist's appointment because the nurse hadn't turned in and they couldn't get a replacement at short notice, so I went into Apocalypto which was amazing (to look at) but came out after 45 minutes because it was boring as well as interesting cinematographically.

Fine if you like blood & guts in superabundance. More gore than a Hammer horror film.

Then I went into a caff and had a ciabatta and a latte.

Heigh-ho.

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Have you seen Casino Royale? I thought that was good fun when I went with my computer dater the other night.

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Clary wrote:

Have you seen Casino Royale? I thought that was good fun when I went with my computer dater the other night.

Yes, ticked that box at the weekend.....didn't like it much though. Maybe I wasn't in the mood. My son took me, and he has seen it three times now. Rolling Eyes

Very nice laydees. Top drawer.

Daniel Craig a very convincing hard-man Bond after the series of wimps who played him.

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right - still thought those car etc chases in the first half were a bit too long and Hollywood

End good though, hard, gutsy, dark

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Lord Ellpus wrote:

Dorothy Parker wrote:
Blimey, you're up.

Of course, there was a much ruder reply that could've been made, but I resisted like a good boy should.

I reckon that an Arsenal supporter won't be too popular in Liverpool today.

Mornin' everyone.

Good morrow Lordy. I buggered off to college shortly after I posted that. Had a good day? Mine was actually not too bad for a change.

x

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Bob Dylan once said-

Quote:

Gimme some milk or else go home.

40 years ago.

And now a cow has arrived, at a secret location in the Midlands, which can produce 70 pints of milk a day and will knock 1p off the price of a bottle full so everybody can save up faster to fly off to island paradises where none of this is happening in the immediate vicinity.

I don't know how much grass it has to eat to do that but it must be a lot.

Pate de frois gras milk. And not just in the bottle on your doorstep. Not by any means.

And the Leader of HM's Opposition has just announced that his "green" policy initiatives to save the earth for our dearly beloved grandchildren do not mean an upsurge in the wearing of hair-shirts.

So that's alright then folks.

No need to worry.

He has a nice smile though I'll give him that. He looks like Little Lord Fauntelroy in long pants.

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spendius wrote:

Bob Dylan once said-

Quote:
Gimme some milk or else go home.

40 years ago.

And now a cow has arrived, at a secret location in the Midlands, which can produce 70 pints of milk a day and will knock 1p off the price of a bottle full so everybody can save up faster to fly off to island paradises where none of this is happening in the immediate vicinity.

I don't know how much grass it has to eat to do that but it must be a lot.

Pate de frois gras milk. And not just in the bottle on your doorstep. Not by any means.

And the Leader of HM's Opposition has just announced that his "green" policy initiatives to save the earth for our dearly beloved grandchildren do not mean an upsurge in the wearing of hair-shirts.

So that's alright then folks.

No need to worry.

He has a nice smile though I'll give him that. He looks like Little Lord Fauntelroy in long pants.

Enjoy your morning bacon & eggs, Spendy.

How long do you think pigs and chickens have been factory farmed?

We would rather not know what is being done elsewhere in our name, if it does not affect us directly.
A bit like the army in the Middle East.

If I take a new line for every sentence it looks a bit more important and portentous, like.

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smorgs wrote:

Evenin' peeps!

I have vision!

Got my new vari-focals.

They make me walk funny - but it's great to see again.

...and you're all lookin' good.

x

Vari focals? Very posh!

Are you trying to tell us that you didn't walk funny before you bought them? Or is it that you can actually SEE how you walk now?

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Dorothy Parker wrote:

Good morrow Lordy. I buggered off to college shortly after I posted that. Had a good day? Mine was actually not too bad for a change.

x

Not a bad day thanks, GD, but I'm having to glue my wig on at the moment, with all the wind about.
Watch out up in the North West.....you're going to have 80mph stuff going on up there over the next 24 hours.

Loads of big trees down in the woods this morning, so we walked round the golf fairway, just in case of falling branches.

Roll on Spring.

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smorgs wrote:

Got my new vari-focals.

They make me walk funny -
x

? you're supposed to wear them on your face.

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Clary wrote:

Have you seen Casino Royale? I thought that was good fun when I went with my computer dater the other night.

You employ someone to keep your computer up to date?

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I was in a pub yesterday...(look I'm being honest here bear with me, or bare with me whichever...bit to windy for one...er where was I oh yes)

in a pub and this two year old was running about sticking his fingers in the gambling machine, periodically falling flat on his nose, being picked up and let go again...you get the picture. Every now and then his Dear Mamma shouted "Tyler (had to be really didnt it) NO!" Or "Tyler come eeyhar or your gonna gerra right smack" etc.

He got hold of a bar mat/towel which he presented to various customers including me.

Eventually mother shouted

"Tyler NO!! Come 'ere. There are people trying to 'av a drink"

Tyler of course continued being 2 years old.

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Mac wrote-

Quote:

Enjoy your morning bacon & eggs, Spendy.

How long do you think pigs and chickens have been factory

I don't eat grease Mac.

Factory farming has been going on since fences were invented and humans began thinking they could choose mating partners for beasts better than the various females could thus countermanding evolutionary principles in the interests of a self-serving belief.

Which might be why the rich only eat game.

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Is anybody watching the Green Britain Week on Sky News?

It's very funny.

It seems local tomatoes are NAUGHTYGREEN by some margin compared to those from far flung places. The heated greenhouses you see. So locals are NG. (Not good).

And the Mayoress of Lutterwurth (?) cycled to work and took 160 grammes off her NG footprint, which would sink a fair way into soft sand, and between us we are up to 5.2 million tons and its only Thursday. Had she bought Spanish tomatoes instead of locals she could have saved more than that and driven to work and be able to preen herself for having been more virtuous. But between you and me and the barrel organ I think Sky News had bought her a brand new bike. I didn't see her actually riding it but I'm not saying she hadn't either.

And you can cross reference things.

It seems Mathos's journey, which he has been at some pains to tell us about-zzzzzz ( abbreviation for the purpose of getting to the end of this post quicker), is the equivalent in NGs of 1000 cows in lush pastures farting for a week. Milkers of course.

They did a good interview with the bike shop owner.

They were all really, really, really very virtuous.

Maybe it's a guilty conscience. No hair shirts the man said. Better bloody not be David.

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From "Beyond the black stump" I would like to wish my best mate Mathos an enjoyable and safe journey. Do post us a line or two occasionally and let us know how you're getting on.

What about you other Brits, doesn't Mathos deserve some of your blessings? Smile

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Big blessings Mathos xxx

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Dutchy wrote:

From "Beyond the black stump" I would like to wish my best mate Mathos an enjoyable and safe journey. Do post us a line or two occasionally and let us know how you're getting on.

What about you other Brits, doesn't Mathos deserve some of your blessings?

why wassappend to maffos isse ded?

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He has jetted off, or has so claimed, into the great unknown.

At this very moment he might be having his ringpiece examined by a lady Custom's Officer in one of those tight skirted uniforms. They are on 2nd highest alert.

I hope so, don't you Steve?

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