THE BRITISH THREAD

An honest answer. And a practical solution to the problem. Agree about middle classes having less patience. People at the bottom of the heap expect things to screw up. People with a more aspirational outlook are constantly surprised and irritated when things screw up.

Steve wrote-



Crikey!. It's a small world.

I once bought a quarry in Macclesfield on the tonnage projections. When I saw it a few days later I nearly threw a wobbler. It scared me to death.
I was glad to sell it on I can tell you. I must have been drunk.

I bet Steve has clambered up those cliff sides. It had been disused a lot of years. There were birds nesting up there and bushes.

smorgsy wrote-



From that, and other bits and pieces, I bet I could find smorgsy within an hour of getting off the train at Oxford Street. Be easy.

I know what I would do. I would find her and then get in the queue with the other layabouts and wastrels, on whom some of us derive our incomes, and when I got to the grill bars I would slip a piece of paper through on which would be written -"YOU ARE SMORGSY AND I CLAIM MY £10 REWARD." (If you've heard of Lobby Lud--if you haven't the joke only half works.)

Might be the best half though. It would depend.

Of course you could suspendy...

It doesn't take much to deduce where I work... what of it?

It's a simple process to transfer your existing claim to another office. Unless you are on Incapacity Benefit, I don't deal with that.

Then I could be your Personal Adviser. Guess what I would advise you to do?

Are you in love with me, spendy?

Do you think I am a Scorpio girl in a calico dress?

x

Lobby Luds only paid £5.00

x

Hey, smorgs, do me a favor. Littlek and I were messing around with Lord Ellpus on a different thread and we had him pressing his face against the screen on his monitor and stuff like that, and now we have him walking around the streets of London taking pictures of willow trees.

Tell him we were just messing with him and that we really have no desire to see any willow trees.

Damn! That guy is the most gullible son of a bitch I have ever encountered.

Thanks, smorgs. I owe you one.

I have little influence on the good Lord...

But, maybe a little pillow talk is needed.

You shouldn't have encouraged him!

You know what he's like...



x

Steve wrote-



I heard Carmina Burana in full the morning. It was on Classic FM I think they call it. I listen to that a lot. It was inspiring. I pulled into the first stopping place.

The trouble is Steve that we need people, not all, to be aspirational and it is the nature of aspirational people to be impatient and get irritated when they can't just get what they want and thus no blame in incurred. One may as well blame them for having bow-legs.

That's not really the problem. The problem, it seems to me, is continuing the aspiration drive once reasonable expectations have been met which is a function of a larger force or forces.

I was aspirational. More than most. But I knew when to knock it off. I wasn't going to work my whatsits off and spend my precious time in impatient irritation aspiring to a pile of nonsense like going on bloody foreign holidays and buying the most expensive engagement ring just because Posh has been flashing a 100grander at the starry eyed.

I had read Veblen you see. Twice. I didn't quite understand it the first time but I got it clean and neat next.

Then the youthful aspiration faded out to the point where it only returns in dreams on proper lettuce leaves like the other night when I opened this chest in a sunken wreck and the lucre sparkled like Haggard described it in King Solomon's Mines and there was green slime on the lid.

I aspire to higher things now (reaches for onion).

And money's no use.

Wanna see some aspiration described Steve?

Try Leo Vincey in Ayeasha and..of course

Spendius in that masterpiece Salammbo.

I might easily have chosen Vincey for my username but I'm glad I didn't.

Spendius aspired to his homeland. Leo aspired to the "WOMAN".

What's your typing speed, suspendy?

Musta took you ages to type that!

x

Oops. Sorry about that. Wrong thread.

Which? Endon Gawsworth Bridge Lee Hills Marksend or Sycamore.

Naughty schoolboys knew them all. Ideal for the odd stick of dynamite for bonfire night...or you could trade it for a pint of mild at the Irish pub... oh happy days ...such innocence...

smorgsy wrote-



I wouldn't think of it. What a lady does is her own affair. It isn't for me to try to imagine anything of that nature. I just do my best to deal with it as best I can.



Weeeeeeell!! In a way. Just an itsy-bitsy bit. There's a lady comes in the pub who looks quite like you. You know. Pinky-chubby straight blond hair on either side of her innocent face. I'm in love with her an itsy-bitsy bit as well. Her friend came over one night and challenged me loudly about looking at her. Just like a bloke would do. Maybe they are lesbians.

But with you it's more like that love I had for the sweet voice in The Man With Two Brains or Aurore in The Man Who Loved Women. Cyber love. Spiritual. You know?

Like this I can imagine you with no spots on your bottom or elastic marks.

I think most of the chaps who are on your cute thread are in love with you an itsy-bitsy bit. Which is perfectly normal of course. You being single and all. And experienced. And satisfactory on all fronts by what we've seen so far. And only a train ride away.



I like Scorpios. I've just enquired and I'm one myself. Gee! What a turn up. I heard that Scorpios of the oppsite gender are like the opposite poles of a magnet.

whats calico

Just seen this on the Beeb News website.....


What made me smile was that his job title was "beat manager".....



PC SACKED FOR "DOGGING" ON DUTY.

"Pc Lumber's behaviour was deemed to have been 'disgraceful'
A police officer from Bristol has been sacked after he allegedly went "dogging" while on duty.


A disciplinary hearing heard Pc Darren Lumber, 35, joined in with a man and a woman as they had sex in a car park at Sand Point, near Weston-super-Mare.

Asst Ch Con Steve Mortimore branded his behaviour "disgraceful".

Mr Lumber, who was dismissed on the grounds of misconduct, said he had always "strongly denied" the allegation and would appeal against the decision.

Mr Lumber, who was a beat manager in Kewstoke, was investigated after a fellow member of staff became concerned about his behaviour......."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/5345518.stm

With a name like Lumber, no wonder he had "wood".

smorgsy wrote-



That was nothing to some posts I've done. I type with one finger and the same finger on the other hand for the Caps. Typing it is a nothing thing. It's thinking what to type.

Are you left-handed by any chance smorgy?

You certainly can notice that by her stroke ...

Aha! Is THAT what it was....and there was me, just thinking that you wanted to chat for a while.

Don't listen to Gus, he's been trying to wind me up all day.
It keeps on happening lately, it must be my new aftershave or something.

This thread has got really boring.

Well jazz it up Dottie. Or go and whinge somewhere else.

You're welcome to do either.