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THE BRITISH THREAD

 
 
Steve 41oo
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 02:50 am
Arsenal will struggle without Henri. But you never know.
0 Replies
 
kitchenpete
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 05:30 am
Steve 41oo wrote:
Spendy!

Was at a party in Harpenden (very posh) on Saturday. They had a chocolate fountain. Sat next to a very clever woman explaining compost heaps.


The first girl I ever snogged lived in Harpenden!

Eurythmics "There must be an angel" and Alison Moyet's version of "That ol' devil called love" were playing as we smooched...happy memories of the mid-'80s! Better than remembering the miners strike and yuppies! Confused
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 07:56 am
Blimey!!!!!!

Why don't you boys start a footy thread?

(and I'll start a ******* handbag one)

x
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:02 am
Your opinion about that, my dear?

http://i4.tinypic.com/2hdcryx.jpg

http://i3.tinypic.com/29xhngg.jpg
(From today's The Guardian, page 5)

Online report: Designer handbags: why buy when you can rent?
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:08 am
okay...

You've twisted my arm Walter...

Buy me the red one!

x
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:09 am
kitchenpete wrote:
Steve 41oo wrote:
Spendy!

Was at a party in Harpenden (very posh) on Saturday. They had a chocolate fountain. Sat next to a very clever woman explaining compost heaps.


The first girl I ever snogged lived in Harpenden!

Eurythmics "There must be an angel" and Alison Moyet's version of "That ol' devil called love" were playing as we smooched...happy memories of the mid-'80s! Better than remembering the miners strike and yuppies! Confused


Did you drink in "The old Cock"? ....or the Plough and Harrow?
0 Replies
 
kitchenpete
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:12 am
No, I was only 13 and the only pub I'd been served in was in Hammersmith:

The Blue Anchor

Imagine the fun we had as teenagers, saying that fast after we'd had a cider too many! :wink: Now you know what we called it most of the time Rolling Eyes
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:15 am
The head Nun at my Convent was called Sister Sheila Mary Hunt...

need I say more?

(mary - was hairy)
0 Replies
 
kitchenpete
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:16 am
smorgs wrote:
Blimey!!!!!!

Why don't you boys start a footy thread?

(and I'll start a **** handbag one)

x


Why not combine...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a3/Argentina_football_2002_handbag_mockup.jpg/737px-Argentina_football_2002_handbag_mockup.jpg
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:17 am
smorgs wrote:
The head Nun at my Convent was called Sister Sheila Mary Hunt...

need I say more?

(mary - was hairy)


I went to school with a Harry Pratt. Poor boy!
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:19 am
smorgs wrote:
okay...

You've twisted my arm Walter...

Buy me the red one!

x


I nearly did so, on ebay, for £0.99 .... until I noticed "from China" and "postage £ 150" :wink:
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:19 am
smorgs wrote:
okay...

You've twisted my arm Walter...

Buy me the red one!

x


I nearly did so, on ebay, for £0.99 .... until I noticed "from China" and "postage £ 150" :wink:
0 Replies
 
smorgs
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 08:25 am
Once, when very poor, my friend and I considered becoming mobile escort girls...

But we decided that instead of offering the full range - we would limit ourselves to Barclays only (and with oven gloves on). We were going to buy a second-hand Robin Reliant and put 'Hand Maidens' along the side, but it was the days before mobiles and we would have to risk me Mum answering the phone...

Seemed like the perfect solution until we sobered up...

x
0 Replies
 
Erik30
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 10:28 am
Embarrassed Cool
I advertise as a handyman, but I hope that my customers dont get the wrong idea. Laughing
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 11:04 am
Steve wrote-

Quote:
I think its for the fillies to say if they feel patronised spendy.


Very funny. I bet that has our delectable hostess neighing all round the paddock.

The member for Droitwich wrote-

Quote:
Bendi, you are one hell of a superior, sniffy, picky, incoherent front bottom


It's a "front bottom" smorgsy. The Temple of Venus is a long way from there. Like beauty incoherence is in the mind of the beholder.

ros wrote-

Quote:
Spendi is consistent across threads and continents.


Thank you ros. It's a function of standing on solid ground is consistency.

Ellpus wrote-

Quote:
I would like to add sour, argumentative and lonely.


Sour? Assertion.

Argumentative? Pleasantry doesn't take you so far. Mere contactless sociability. A voiding of something I know not what.

Lonely? Well yes. I plead guilty.

What's up with loneliness? Montcrief translates Proust saying "We are indeed all alone." David Reisman has a famous book, which I have a nice copy of, titled The Lonely Crowd. Lennon had a weak song about all those lonely people. A much better one is Dylan's To Be Alone With You. All Along The Watchtower is a power cable of loneliness. (see 1981 versions).

"I've stumbled up the sides of twelve misty mountains,
I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways
I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests
I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans."

I'd done that by the time I was allowed to vote. Not that I would mind you. What a ridiculous idea voting is eh ros? You said we were in a mess and it's all been voted for.

The whole Faustian project, which you so blithely take for granted and to which you owe every convenience and even your very lives, is posited on the lonely ego adrift in the infinities.

Rembrandt tried to paint it. Look at those self portraits. So did Warhol. Baroque chamber music is the very voice of loneliness in it's youth. You want Monteverdi for the kid's stuff. Shakespeare is stuffed up to the gunwales with loneliness imagery. All Western art is. Anything that isn't isn't art.

"Oh my God! Am I here all alone." Dylan has been known to howl into the amplifiers like a dog with it's foot in a trap. You have to see Dylan.

The infinite solitude is the "felt" home of the Faustian spirit and all our art is a feeble attempt to describe it and conjure it. It is Science. And it is religious to the infinitesimal centre. It is beyond all sense actualities. It is behind the sun in those regions where new worlds are created.

Seigfried, Parzeval, Tristan, (and Isolde), Hamlet, Faust, Spendius: the lonliest heroes ever imagined. You can feel the mud on the boots in Homer.

I'm not lonely enough to need a dog for company.

In To Ramona there is this-

"Deep in my heart Babe I know there's no help I can bring."

Bit different from the "Can I f**k you now?" songs eh? with their unimaginitive catalogue of lies.


Pop music is a denial of it for the frightened. It's not timeless. Look at Mercury sing "nothing really matters---toooooo meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. That's pretty lonely. He could howl pretty good.

Oh- I nearly forgot Munch. Musn't forget Munch must we!

I don't take it seriously myself but I'm glad about all the wonders it has brought. I'm off to Old Trafford tonight by way of the couch, a spliff, the volume control, and an up bet at 1.8 on the millionairre sandwich-board men who are playing at home. It's more exciting than the raindrops on the cave wall. I think. They might have been playing for the girls then.

Unlike now.
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 11:16 am
Sister Sheila Mary Hunt...
Went up the river in a punt
Coming back she caught her crack
Causing her to squeak and grunt.
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 11:34 am
smorgsy wrote-

Quote:
But we decided that instead of offering the full range - we would limit ourselves to Barclays only (and with oven gloves on). We were going to buy a second-hand Robin Reliant and put 'Hand Maidens' along the side, but it was the days before mobiles and we would have to risk me Mum answering the phone...


You might have done okay outside the main gate of an Army camp in Irag but that's probably too far for you to have contemplated travelling.

Have you a faint hankering for a professional career. It isn't the first time you have hinted in that direction.

Lord Ellpus-

It is not good manners when a lady tells you that the head Nun at her convent, and convent girls have a fearsome reputation, is called Sister Sheila Mary Hunt to blurt out some triviality of your own. It's witless. It's boring. It's grabbing the limelight on the easy off our delightful hostess.
You are supposed to attempt a mild jest of somesort and ask about Sister Sheila Mary. Hand the floor back to her.

Oh! Drat! I forgot. I'm a misogynist.
0 Replies
 
Lord Ellpus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 11:41 am
Bendy, don't go showing yourself up as a tosser again. It gets a trifle tedious after a while.
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 12:13 pm
Have you got a thin skin your worship.

You must have if you think that sort of facile dross has any effect on me.


Fancy using "lonely" as a jibe when you owe loneliness everything.

"I wandered lonely as a cloud" is as daft as it is famous.

Loneliness inspires the pioneer spirit.
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Sep, 2006 02:09 pm
One hand waving free.
0 Replies
 
 

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