THE BRITISH THREAD

So much going on here, hard for us working people to keep up.

At the airport waiting for a delayed flight so time to catch up on the slings and arrows, etc.

As for pompous, if it makes you feel better, I´ve met D Lawson (good friend of my uncle, seemed very pleasant) and subscribe to the Economist.

...but you won´t find me watching cricket...so tedious!

Hi Pete, evening folks, it was interesting reading until I discovered Lord S for B's meanderings.

LORD **** FOR BRAINS

I have had an extremely hard and difficult day, out very early this morning and returned home some thirty minutes since, only to be greeted by your masochism like a lost poussin twittering to an orchestra playing The Bhomeian Rhapsody.

It's possible, the midwife could be responsible: Not being able to determine the real you: You, were discarded into the nearest sluice leaving me having to resort to script conversation with a mature piece of after-birth.

Your cumbersome, somewhat irksome attitude enlikens you to a riotous parvenue with limited knowledge and even less common sense.

I note your still fiddling my tax contributions as well,! Typical.

In the confines of my mentioning your lack of spunk, I was of course refering to your inherent quality of character and temperament.
In short, I was calling you a gutless, cockney, ball-less, yellow bellied runt, but I held back from the expletives so as not to offend any of the members of a nervous disposition or of young and tender years.

I most certainly would never have lowered myself to discussion regarding your sperm count, which would no doubt have great difficulty in siring a handful of frog spawn.

In fact, you might just have a fanny wedged between your thighs, but I'm not in the least curious, I simply take it as read.

Notwithstanding your mythomania, I am somewhat concerned that any attempt by yourself to prove different would make for a very amusing topic. I will therefore, perhaps later this evening commence a thread amongst these European pages, a thread to determine how Lord **** for Brains is viewed in general. After all, they can't all think of you as a first rate plonker. Or can they?

How would you like to start, Mavis?

The realism towards a pragmatic, practical and material way of life is obviously lost in the outer spheres of your ever expandable search for recognition.

Forget it!

You never made first base.


Now, I could sit here and give thought to my reply: As I have previously done, but only ever with Spendi and Aidan, two worthy opponents at one stage of their miserable existence, but like the senate of The Roman Empire, their spirit and defences have long since been reduced to the sands of time. Blown away across a misty, stormy ocean of also rans.

On a strictly personal basis, were you to be handy to grab, I would have no hesitation in ramming a stout brush steele up your piley arse, and renaming you Lord Lollipop.

That is an excellent title, you could make poetry and songs from that.

You could of course apologise for your attack on me, which, although petty in substance, was carried out in a vile and most venomous manner.

Considering the possibility that you could see common sense and make apologies, I will not deride you at all for the present.

The ball Lord **** for Brains has been lobbed firmly into your court. Be careful how you serve.

So mote it be.

It is only "tedious" to some. Not everyone.

What actually is tedious and pompous is ascribing a perjoritative term to the enjoyment of others as if saying it is tedious renders it so.

Cricket makes money for England and cements relationships with some countries where it may well be a civilising influence. (Such as Australia). To knock it is to knock our heritage. The game is a work of art and a dislike of it suggests a dislike of anything requiring analysis in words longer than a syllable or two.

"A good friend of my uncle" is hardly a claim to anything.

What might be allowable is to say it isn't to one's taste as it obviously isn't to people with short attention spans, an unwillingness to engage with subtlety and a keen desire to be different.

If it is pompous to mention an acquaintance with the ex-editor of The Spectator and Sunday Telegraph it most certainly is to mention where one had lunch and what horrible dish one stuffed down one's gullet on the occasion and which roadside dump was privileged to witness the proceeding. In fact that is distasteful as well bearing in mind the process by which it is masticated, ingurgitated into the oesophagus by muscular contractions, digested from a slush and where the residue is at the present time.

I had a better aquaintance with Sir Peregrine Worsthorne and Mr Auberon Waugh of blessed memory.

I don't think it advisable to toss out the charge of pomposity because I can hold my end up at that game and am often sorely tempted to do so.

I get The Economist fairly regularly, as my pal subscribes and I get his cast-offs about four months late.

I used to get The Spectator until a few months ago but I wasn't getting enough time to read it.

I didnt say I read the New Statesman Spectator or New Scientist. I just get them or rather got them and looked at the pictures. Page 3 New Scientist is well worth close scrutiny.

Mathos you really are one nasty piece of

One can hardly disagree with that.

I was just about to applaud your cricket posting Spendi.. I'll carry on, I have not played cricket since my school days. I always enjoyed playing as well. It is an excellent game of skill. I suppose I should enjoy watching it, but I don't.


Steve, if you have read all of the past pages since His Lordship started this pantomine, fair enough. If not I would advise you to read the same and then let me have your comments.


I can go on for ever, I'm only idling in first at present. The overdrive mode makes for excellent, somewhat crude, offensive, even derogatory writing, but it has style.

Mathos, I don't know why you think it is appropriate to post that kind of stuff.

You're certainly wrong about the style. If the attempt was at humour, you missed your mark badly.

TOUGH **** MAC

I'm not here for compliments mate.

I'm sure you can M. And what I suggest to you is that you stop. Now. Shut it.

Thank Christ for that...

Feck Off, mathos!


... you miserable, nasty, pompous, grumpy old curmudgeon!


x

I love it when you talk dirty.

Stop taxing my lines, Mathos!

(you chelsea taxi driving, Daily Mail reading, property speculating, sarcastic, massive carbon footprint stomping, Band Z Council Tax paying bastard)

And pompous to boot!

x

One presumes that smorgsie means by "massive" any carbon footprint which has an impress on the earth deeper than her own.

That hardly constitutes a principle useful for derogation.

One ought to have some sympathy for our Mathos. He is obviously afflicted with rhetorical ejaculatory extension which, on feeling the pleasure of its initial thrust, then loses control of itself and expends its energy in a dynamic whoosh for which the usual precautions are in order.

And you can go **** yourself too Spendi

If you boys take some viagra and stop wasting time seeing who can piss highest up the wall...

We might make 3000 posts tonight!

x

The problem is Steve that all Mathos does is take the rhetorical device known as "the assertion" into higher spheres than such simple things as "tedious" and "pompous" and the like. On that score he is deserving of recognition although I fear he is in need of more practice on the finer points of insulting invective. He is also a boxer or an ex-boxer and he may well be suffering from the effects. All boxers are assertive and aggressive.

He is against the war and is thus not entirely without virtue I think you will admit.

I have gathered from a few things he has said that he is a city person and the blurted assertion is a common mode of discourse in cities perhaps due to the general cacophony and continuous hullabaloo with which city people are assailed throughout the day and night.

Wll you just forget about the word pompous for now suspendy, sweetie...

smorgs, in the meantime, will carry on regardless.

Refusing to be intimidated in any way and posting in the restricted code as befits her status and lack of formal education. To that end, I give you Mr John Lydon:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPj-8_wOZcA

Anger is an energy...

Takes me back to the summer of '76, I wore a green combat jacket and had multi-coloured hair with one long red plait at the back (complete with bead) smoked a lot of weed and protested against Pershing, and considered joining The Solcialist Worker Party.

x

The trouble is Spendy, no matter how you wax eloquent, its difficult for ordinary mortals to understand what the **** you are on about....which I think is you intention.

Listen you, you bloody parrot faced wazzock, if you start getting cocky I'll rip every word you print into a thousand pieces and bring them down on your bloody big, over-read, self opinionated, bombastic, bellicose skull like a mighty oak tree.

You sound like a bloody lake of hungry ducks, quacking every time somebody comes into view or the fox appears. Well let me make it very plain to you Yorkie, you pathetic snotty nosed, prick manipulating perverted sot, that your treading on vary thin ice.

The other jerk, spits **** from page to page from his government office
because his phucking wage packet will be there regardless. He had received no insults from me, and when he started with his chirpy little **** stirring remarks, he got whacked. I'd left it alone, he came back on board today like a ruptured crab on a pebbly beach, and he can lick his wounds, have another rant or apologise, I couldn't give two shakes of an Asian elephants prick (and they are big) which avenue he goes down.

I've heard hens fart before like you and him together, so thats another fine mess you got yourself in oink!