Birth Control and Miscarriages

Do I have all this relatively straight?

OK

I just went back and looked at your previous posts exitmusic.....correct me if I'm wrong with this recap....



You posted on 8/14 that you engaged in some heavy petting and oral sex, and your boyfriend, who MAY have gotten some ejaculate on his hand, and put his finger in your vagina. This happened on the 10th.

You say you were due to get your period in about 3 weeks. That BTW, makes you due for you period on 9/11, which is still a few days away. All these occured 4 days before you posted, you would still be due right around now.

For some reason, you won't walk into a Walgreens and pick a $10.00 pregnancy kit off the shelf, plunk down your money, and pee on a stick.

Instead, you want to take birth control pills to miscarry, when you have no idea if you're pregnant.

Oh, almost forgot...you're experiencing symptoms of pregnancy, even though at the time you stated that, it was just a few days after the finger incident. Which would be highly unusual as pregancy symptoms generally would not occur nearly so soon.

Do I have all this relatively straight?

OK then, since I have confirmation that I'm in reality…..exitmusic, you are getting your knickers in a twist for absolutely no reason.

This fingering didn't occur near your ovulation, I doubt in the extreme there was enough gunk on his finger to get you preggers. You haven't even been due for your period until right about now.

Psychological pregnancy is more when you actually MISS a period or more than one, and have strong pregnancy symptoms like swollen breasts and so forth. Having to pee all the time is not a symptom of being one or two weeks pregnant. As a matter of fact, I'd say that 99.9999999999999999999% of the time a woman has no clue she's pregnant a week after the fact.

Many, if not most of us here knows what it's like to have a pregnancy scare, and I understand your youth is part of your anxiety. For instance, when I was 16, a guy put his hands down my pants, I stopped him because I was having my period. I didn't even SEE his penis, since he hadn't even unzipped his pants….however, I remember being worried somehow, something had happened.

Exitmusic, your chances of being pregnant are so incredibly remote as so be non-existent.

You are young, but you are a woman. As one woman to another, I'm going to say this, the same as I would say to a good friend……Get A Grip! You are not pregnant, stop worrying about it and making goofy plans for miscarrying.

OK

I just went back and looked at your previous posts exitmusic.....correct me if I'm wrong with this recap....

You posted on 8/14 that you engaged in some heavy petting and oral sex, and your boyfriend, who MAY have gotten some ejaculate on his hand, and put his finger in your vagina. This happened on the 10th.

You say you were due to get your period in about 3 weeks. That BTW, makes you due for you period on 9/11, which is still a few days away. All these occured 4 days before you posted, you would still be due right around now.

Chai Tea wrote:

OK

I just went back and looked at your previous posts exitmusic.....correct me if I'm wrong with this recap....

You posted on 8/14 that you engaged in some heavy petting and oral sex, and your boyfriend, who MAY have gotten some ejaculate on his hand, and put his finger in your vagina. This happened on the 10th.

You say you were due to get your period in about 3 weeks. That BTW, makes you due for you period on 9/11, which is still a few days away. All these occured 4 days before you posted, you would still be due right around now.

Young Lady, and I use the term loosely; apparently you don't read very carefully. I have my dates perfectly straight, as you can see. In addition, I have 33 years on you as far as counting the days to my next cycle, so I would trust my math.

For someone who was trembling in their boots just a few hours ago, you're acting very blithely. I wasn't the one sure my life was down the toilet because of some diddling.

By the way dear, it seems when you blasted off at me at how judgemental I am, you neglected to say you'd gotten your period. What, did that happen suddenly between your little speech and when you read my 2nd post?

So, welcome to the club. Nearly everyone goes through this at least once. You had some very nice ladies hold your hand and say "there, there dear". I'm not that nice. If you could figure out a way to get alone with your boyfriend to get felt up, you could've figured out a way to get a pregancy test. Instead, you used some here as surrogate mothers. That's fine. I guess it's what you needed. I'm not maternal, and certainly owe no one an apology for not being a mommy giving advice type.

Finally, every time you brought up using birth control pills to miscarry, I had to laugh. Think about it exitmusic....If someone was on birth control pills happened to get pregnant anyway, she would have continued taking the pills for a length of time after getting pregnant regardless. Obviously taking the pills didn't cause that woman to miscarry.

Before you continue calling out names, read over desperate posts, begging for reassurance and advice, then compare how you can now blow it off.

So, you're a woman now....take responsibility for yourself.

14 years old is old enough to know what goes where, but young enough for you to respect your elders, especially when up to this time you've shown a wealth of disinformation.

Tell your boyfriend to go buy a box of rubbers, and keep them in a cool, dry place....not his wallet, where it can get holes in it, and not the glove compartment of a car, or some other hot place.

And don't start in with this "I'm going to try not to have sex stuff" The operative word there is "try" Be prepared all the time.

I'm not your mother so I'm not going to talk to you about morals, especially since I don't have that many myself. I'm not cuddlely either, so call me whatever you want...

The responsibililty for your body is in your hands now.

Good luck and good night.

Great! You're not pregnant!

Will you be doing anything differently to ensure that you don't go through this again?

sozobe wrote:

Great! You're not pregnant!

Will you be doing anything differently to ensure that you don't go through this again?

Didn't see an answer to this (sorry if I missed it).

What I'm most concerned about from your account so far is that you'll take a deep breath and then get right back to the risky behavior you've already engaged in. And yes, it's risky, for a lot of reasons -- sexually transmitted diseases (many of them don't require penis-vagina contact), emotional issues (women and girls can be every bit as emotionally impacted by giving a blowjob as by engaging in penis-vagina contact), and of course pregnancy (the chances weren't high, but any time that clothes come off and there are sperm [and remember that sperm is present in the pre-cum; a guy doesn't have to ejaculate for there to be sperm] there is a chance of pregnancy).

I'm not saying that all sex is bad and that you're bound to get pregnant, yadda yadda -- there are 14-year-olds who have sex (I include varieties of sexual contact here) and enjoy it and there are no ill effects. Just, there are ways to make that more likely and ways to make that less likely, and I see a lot of danger signs in what you've written. Getting birth control is one way to make the process less likely to go bad.

Studies have shown over and over again that we make different decisions in the heat of the moment than we think we will. At least one study looked at exactly this situation -- people who said they wouldn't have sex before marriage and what they did when they actually became aroused. Their minds were measurably, significantly different. They often made decisions that they swore, while in a "cold" state (non-aroused, calm), that they would never make.

So, take a deep breath, be grateful that you're not pregnant, but please -- do something different from now on to ensure you won't have to go through this again.

I'm still getting birth control. I already told my mom about it and I think that's great, even though I'm not going to be having sex. But yes when I was sexually aroused I promised myself that too. I think it would be worth it and it would be something to look forward to when a couple gets married so I'm definetly waiting.. AHH BUT IT'S GOING TO BE SO HARD!!!!
But I'm much too young.