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Tue 22 Aug, 2006 02:43 pm
"Signs, signs, everywhere are signs..."
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
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At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
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On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
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At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
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On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
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At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
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In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
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And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak
lol i got that in an email frm a good friend of mine awhile ago
A real sign of our times:
Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin
and Advil
is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it
has
settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were
Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. Announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid
form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use
as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a
stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new
meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs"
And just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the
new
concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Where do you get this stuff, JL? Where in the name of god do you come up with such stuff?
Well, by not watching television all kinds of things can happen.
You must have one of them sat-a-lite dishes
That's priceless, JL. With your kind permission (or without it, come to think of it), I'm a-gonna circulate that to some e-friends who don't A2K.
Must confess that it was forwarded to me.
I just sent that to about a dozen nurses.
they'll love it.
Well somewhat along the same vein....
Here is the promo for a new wine for seniours
California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as Pino More.
Hmmm, and I won't even care about its taste.