His sister was learning to salsa,
In wellies and an old balaclava
By God she was crude
And often quite rude
She was last heard of hiding in Tulsa.
Americans say "Have a nice day !"
Americans say "Have a nice day !"
Which is only something to say
It sounds quite polite
But really it's shite
And I've heard it said that it's fey.
A grunt and a glare is the best
They save you from many a pest
A grunt and a glare is the best
They save you from many a pest
From fake friendly smile
And sugar draped bile
So yea for me and screw the rest
My bonnie went over the sea
My bonnie went over the sea
Behind she has left little me
She's made a mistake
Advantage I'll take
And check if some is still free.
There's The Jones's Bar down by the docks
Where someone's unlocked all the locks
I'll work up a thirst
And go in there first
There's The Jones's Bar down by the docks
Where someone's unlocked all the locks
I'll work up a thirst
And go in there first
To grab Sue, whose face has stopped clocks.
The pianist wears a fur coat
The pianist wears a fur coat,
His eyes are all glazed and remote,
The prelude he played
Was one Chopin made
To set hearts of girls all afloat.
Their bearings confuse at such times
Their bearings confuse at such times,
Steel balls tend to sieze in cold climes.
To add to the scene,
Your urine goes green,
To conform with the sign of the times.
I emerge from the bar in a daze.
I emerge from the bar in a daze.
In an up-skirt tit feeling phase
Which Dad said was daft
From somewhere up aft
I emerge from the bar in a daze.
In an up-skirt tit feeling phase
Which Dad said was daft
From somewhere up aft
But I know that that's not the case
To walk out of bars all erect
Is testament to such neglect
That's often display'd
By christians on raid
That's why such folk all are suspect
Don't trust a man who doesn't drink
Or has no vice, perched on no brink
He knows naught of woe
All he'll ever know
Is what people told him to think
Religion is just one more drug
It's swarm either swindler or thug
Religion is just one more drug
It's swarm either swindler or thug
As Dawkins suggested
Its probably ingested
In childhood like any other bug.
A nun was windsurfing one day,
A nun was windsurfing one day,
Wind changed and blew the other way
Took her out to sea
Incidentally
She met christ so it was ok
This chap on the water he walked
This chap on the water he walked
He walked round all day and just talked
People,they listened
Their eyes, they glistened
And the Old Bill after him stalked.
But that's all a long time ago....
fresco- catching things in childhood provides immunity from further infections so one might think Dawkins would favour a good dose of religion in childhood.
But that's all a long time ago
And old stuff just bores me stiff, so
But that's all a long time ago,
And old stuff just bores me stiff, so.
Well-that's an odd view,
It's held by a few
Who are sort of not in the know.
The girls in the band will not play...
The girls in the band will not play...
If there's no room for hips to sway
They're dancing in time
With rythm and rhyme
And they can keep going all day
When night falls the playing gets lewd
When night falls the playing gets lewd
It's hard to say who is most crude
When night falls the playing gets lewd
It's hard to say who is most crude
You make the most noise
But boys will be boys
And most girls prefer solitude
Just kidding- your band is the best!
Just kidding- your band is the best!
The drummer just sparkles with zest.
His sticks are fluorescent
His movements pubescent
His tattoos exude from his vest.
The bass player looks paranoid,
...
The bass player looks paronoid
He wonders where to go in detroit
The bass player looks paronoid
He wonders where to go in detroit
Perhaps to the pub
Or for a quick scrub
Or to meet Henry Ford the toid.
He met an old flame whose called Nell
