As you well know, crime does not pay
(Well that's what they want us to say;
But you and I know
when it comes to Bordeaux.
It's all about seizing the day.
I once thought quite highly of her,
and made sure she was covered in furs.
I once thought quite highly of her,
and made sure she was covered in furs
One animal that swims is an otter
And that hill is covered in furze.
The gorse bush has interesting seed-pods
The gorse bush has interesting seed-pods
Somewhat similar to red rods
They shine out at dawn
And light up the lawn
The gorse bush has interesting seed-pods
Somewhat similar to red rods
They shine out at dawn
And light up the lawn
embellishing all that is Gods'
An Austrian pine great and tall
An Austrian pine great and tall
Fell onto my big brother Paul.
Now he is quite dead
An Austrian pine great and tall
Fell onto my big brother Paul.
Now he is quite dead
with a bough in his head
and the lumber makes him look somewhat small.
It's all a matter of perspective
said the investigating detective
It's all a matter of perspective
said the investigating detective.
Did Juan kill Lolita
In the arboreta
Quietly or spouting invective?
++++++++++++++++++
Lolita was fond of tequila
Lolita was fond of tequila
The only drink that could fill 'er
She became quite unstable
And danced on a table
With a great big fat gorilla
The man had a massive tattoo
The man had a massive tattoo
Of an elephant playing kazoo
The man had a massive tattoo
Of an elephant playing kazoo
And a big pair of boots
One on each of his foots
The man with a massive tattoo
Of an elephant playing kazoo
And a big pair of boots
One on each of his foots
Ran amok at the kids' petting zoo.
The giraffes were feeling quite randy
The giraffes were feeling quite randy,
those long necks come in quite handy.
The giraffes were feeling quite randy,
those long necks come in quite handy.
For miles they'll go trekking
In hopes of some necking
Now you know their modus operandi.
++++++++++++++++++++
The police didn't know what to do
About the necking at the petting zoo
The police didn't know what to do
About the necking at the petting zoo
the dogs went-a-sniffing
but ended up kissing
The police didn't know what to do
About the necking at the petting zoo
the dogs went-a-sniffing
but ended up kissing
The butts of a monkey or two.
The zookeeper has quite a task,
keeping monkeys away from his flask.
The zookeeper has quite a task,
keeping monkeys away from his flask.
Now, monkeys get frisky
Whene'er they drink whisky
The zookeeper has quite a task,
keeping monkeys away from his flask.
Now, monkeys get frisky
Whene'er they drink whisky
They hoot worse than a drunk Basque.
When days are all sluggish and drizzly,
mood low and atmosphere grizzly,
When days are all sluggish and drizzly,
mood low and atmosphere grizzly,
don your bikini,
and pour a martini.
When days are all sluggish and drizzly,
mood low and atmosphere grizzly,
don your bikini,
and pour a martini
Your mood will become rather sizzly.
Whenever I catch up with work
Whenever I catch up with work,
And stay one step ahead of the clerk.
