His friend had a French talkng Parrot
That would sing something french for a carrot
"Sur la Pont D'avignon"
He would always get wrong
In soprano like our Leslie Garratt
A Scot in a Kilt climbed St Pauls
His friend had a french talking Parrot
Train to speake by none else than Ross Pierrot,
Sorry Dag....you're too late. That Parrot has deceased, it is no more....it
is a non Parrot.
Now, come on somebody....I cant wait to see what the next line is....
A Scot in a Kilt climbed St Pauls
Tap..Tap...Tap.... Tum di Tum.... <looks at watch >
<well, dangit, you can't just waltz in here and do the whole limerick yourself! i object!>
A Scot in Kilt climbed St. Pauls
kilt blows up and down as the wind hauls
A Scot in a Kilt climbed St. Pauls
kilt blows up and down as the wind hauls
The tourists below
With their faces aglow
Had a really good view of his ****
His lady friend came from the glen
His lady friend came from the glen
A favorite of all of the men
When she walked in a room
His lady friend came from the glen
A favorite of all of the men
When she walked in a room
With her smile in full bloom
He'd rise, just to greet her again.
His pleated kilt was a bit short
His pleated kilt was a bit short
And his sporran was tied rather taut
His bagpipes he played
Like a cat being spayed
His pleated kilt was a bit short
And his sporran was tied rather taut
His bagpipes he played
Like a cat being spayed
His pleated kilt was a bit short
And his sporran was tied rather taut
His bagpipes he played
Like a cat being spayed
Cuz his mind was on "making out"
Come dear, let us view the south moor
come dear, let's view the south moor,
where there's magic mushrooms galore,
a brew we'll be sipping
and soon we'll be tripping
come dear, let's view the south moor,
where there's magic mushrooms galore,
a brew we'll be sipping
and soon we'll be tripping ...
don't worry -- there's rehab next door.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Each Friday is Methadone Day!
Let's hurry -- we'll miss the buffet!
Each Friday is Methadone Day!
Let's hurry -- we'll miss the buffet!
Stale donuts and your dose in a cup
lick your lips and drink it all up.
Oh, Calgon, take me away!
Sit on the open window ledge
Sit on the open window ledge,
Down below is a briar hedge.
Beyond is a pool,
And if you're a fool ...
Sit on the open window ledge,
Down below is a briar hedge.
Beyond is a pool,
And if you're a fool ...
For your body, they may have to dredge.
I am counting the hours, not sheep
I am counting the hours, not sheep
Til I can go get some sleep.
It's been a long day
But come what may
I am counting the hours, not sheep
Til I can go get some sleep.
It's been a long day
But come what may
The hours won't fly -- they creep.
+++++++++++++++++++
Sometimes wine does the trick for me
Sometimes wine does the trick for me,
Take my advice and you, too, will see.
On your bed you'll sprawl,
You'll have gone AWOL ...
Sweet dreams! (I'll soon mail you my fee.)
The feds come: "Open up! Let us in!
Who are you to practice medicine?
Show us all your stuff!
Put on this handcuff!
You must pay for your lack of sheepskin!"
+++++++++++++++++++++++
A lonely young lad in Sing Sing
A lonely young lad in Sing Sing
Wished to be the convict king.
But the cons were mean,
They made him their queen
And had a transvestite fling.
There was a gal in Tehachappee
