I was born in the Year of the Dog
And a princess was kissed by a frog
Or the other way round-
But it has been found
That Prince Charming emerged from the fog
And a most handsome fellow was he
So she smiled when he dropped to one knee
He took her fair hand
And a most handsome fellow was he
So she smiled when he dropped to one knee
He took her fair hand,
Removed the gold band
And threw it quite far out to sea.
'I'm breaking it off!' Charming said,
'I'm breaking it off!' Charming said,
I'm dating the footman instead
'I'm breaking it off!' Charming said,
I'm dating the footman instead
I've bagged me a beaut
He's blond and he's cute
"I'm breking it off !" Charming said
I'm dating the footman instead
I've bagged me a beaut
He's blond and he's cute
And really a tiger in bed!
So the princess waved Charming farewell
Let him and his queen go to hell!
So the princess waved Charming farewell
Let him and his queen go to hell!
Now an interesting man
Is Down-and-out Dan
So the princess waved Charming farewell
Let him and his queen go to hell!
Now an interesting man
Is Down-and-out Dan
And what's interesting? Firstly, the smell
Yes, Dan is a raggedy guy
But he gives all the cuties the eye
Yes, Dan is a raggedy guy
But he gives all the cuties the eye
The left one only
He needs the right to see
And besides he is bashfully shy
I'm awa in me cups today
Why not it is the Lord's Day...
I'm awa in me cups today
Why not it is the Lord's Day
Six days shalt thou labour
And, yes, love thy neighbour
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I'm awa in me cups today
Why not it is the Lord's Day
Six days shalt thou labour
And, yes, love thy neighbour
Then get on your damn knees and pray!
McTag is Stockport near Stoke?
(yes this is the beginning of a limerick but also a qn)
McTag is Stockport near Stoke?
Is that where I'll find the bloke?
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McTag is Stockport near Stoke?
Is that where I'll find the bloke?
The one with the eyes
You know - medium size?
McTag is Stockport near Stoke?
Is that where I'll find the bloke?
The one with the eyes
You know - medium size?
But with bigger things down in his poke?
Stockport is near to Manchester
And Stoke's a bit nearer to Leicester
Stockport is near to Manchester
And Stoke's a bit nearer to Leicester
My cover is blown,
I'm going to Stone
Stockport is near to Manchester
And Stoke's a bit nearer to Leicester
My cover is blown,
I'm going to Stone
And tip a few with the court Jester.
Hey, buddy, got any change?
(edit for no rhyme)
Hey, buddy, got any change?
My doggie has got the mange
I need to buy
To keep off the fly
Some ointment incredibly strange
A wonderful thing happened today
I thought I had forgotten to pay....
A wonderful thing happened today
I thought I had forgotten to pay
But I'd paid sure enough
For a huge heap of stuff
A wonderful thing happened today
I thought I had forgotten to pay
But I'd paid sure enough
For a huge heap of stuff
Now to the bank manager what do I say ?
A climate as wet as can be
Can make you dream of the sea....
A climate as wet as can be
Can make you dream of the sea
But what a rude shock
When, on meeting a rock -
A climate as wet as can be
Can make you dream of the sea
But what a rude shock
When, on meeting a rock
He invites you out for a cream tea
A gentle walk in the evening is fine
Especially after you dine....
