In olden days, folks did have less
they were not caught up in fortunes mess
In olden days folks did have less
they were not caught up in fortune's mess
But to the simple days do I aspire?
Trade my Jenn-Air for a fire?
In olden days folks did have less
they were not caught up in fortune's mess
But to the simple days do I aspire?
Trade my Jenn-Air for a fire?
Nah, I prefer modern times, I must confess.
Do you all plan to hang up a great big stocking?
Do you all plan to hang a great big stocking?
So enormous all the kids will be gawking?
Well you better be on the "nice" list
Or the haul from Santa will be missed
And that huge sock full of coal will be shocking!
Just why do elves wear pointy shoes?
Saw in the newspaper today: father says to kids
"When I was little, we were happy with much less. we were pleased to get maybe an orange and an apple in our Xmas stocking"
Kid whispers to brother
-"A computer and a mobile phone! And that's just in the STOCKING?"
Just why do elves wear pointy shoes?
To help their feet to beat the blues
With reindeer, some horns
Their cranium adorns
Which explains why they can't get down flues
There's a sleigh on my roof Christmas morn
here's a sleigh on my roof Christmas morn
I'ts being towed by a unicorn
There's a sleigh on my roof Christmas morn
It's being towed by a unicorn!
Rudolph got lazy
And Dasher went crazy
Leaving Santa two short and forlorn...
"Now, who can I get to fill in?"
Santa said with a nod and a grin....
"Now, who can I get to fill in?"
Santa said with a nod and a grin
How about Trigger?
He's actually bigger
Or maybe Mr. Ed could step in.
A horse is a horse, of course
A horse is a horse, of course
And a Clydesdale's a mighty force
But pulling that sleigh
Ain't no roll in the hay...
A horse is a horse, of course
And a Clydesdale's a mighty force
But pulling that sleigh
Ain't no roll in the hay...
and the singing would make Mr Ed hoarse.
So Santa sticking to reindeer
So Santa's sticking to reindeer
They're part of the team and it's clear
On that magical night
So Santa's sticking to reindeer
They're part of the team and it's clear
On that magical night
They broke out in a fight
So Santa's sticking to reindeer
They're part of the team and it's clear
On that magical night
They broke out in a fight
All that chaos over a bottle of beer !
Save me oh save me from christmas parties,
Save me oh save me from christmas parties
The drunks and bad food and false hearties
Save me oh save me from Christmas parties
The drunks and bad food and false hearties
Politely listening once more
To some jerk who's a bore
Or the jargon of geeky tech smarties
Santa's deep in a midlife crisis
Had a fling with the goddess Isis
Santa's deep in a midlife crisis
Had a fling with the goddess Isis
Bought a jazzy new sleigh
Santa's deep in midlife crisis
Had a fling withthe goddess Isis
Bought a jazzy new sleigh
For his heavenly lay
Santa's deep in midlife crisis
Had a fling with the goddess Isis
Bought a jazzy new sleigh
For his heavenly lay
Then he took off the toys all the prices.
It's drizzly, not frosty, right now
It's drizzly, not frosty, right now
A Christmas mist takes a bow,
and covers our world
in a dreamlike swirl,
if it freezes, it will be like, like wow!
The tree limbs all dressed up in crystal
The tree limbs all dressed up in crystal
Our son is hoping for a pistol
Christmas time can be quite happy
At least it is for me and Pappy
Once we get into the Bristol's
If peace could come in 2004
