Dinner or coffee for 1st date???

Do you know her already? If so, dinner. If not (blind date, online personality), I'd go for a drink or a dessert. First dates, they say, should not happen during the daytime because day dates tend to lend themselves to building friendships.

Heh, I learn something new every day on a2k..

What about? The day date? I'm not sure there's any research to bcak me up......

tomyyy- So you have your coffee, and you are out of the restaurant in a half hour. Then what? It seems to me that you can take a date out to dinner without breaking the bank. Go for a popular priced restaurant, where at least you can spend some time getting to know the person.

Then if it doesn't work out, at least you have had a good meal!

The coffee thing may be cheaper, but more importantly, it is potentially shorter. This short meeting gives both parties a chance to get aquainted and to call an early end to the "date" is you are not compatible. This is, of course, assuming that you are not already well aquainted.

If all goes well, the coffee can end with dinner. The day date is a chance to get aquainted without any of the pressures of an evening date.

I was mostly teasing, littleK. I guess I don't think a day date precludes potential romance, and friendship can be a good start to that. I guess one can get off on a just friends footing. But, big deal, one can change modes.

If it is a blind date, a day date might be easier to cut short if it there's no mutual interest. (I have a therapy appointment, bye.....)

Exactly what i was going to say but allot better put so thank god you got in b4 me Intrepid , god knows how many times i took a girl out for dinner only to find we were totally different and by 10 minutes in i just couldnt wait to get out and im sure its gone opposite as well :wink:

Thanks onthequiet.

On the other hand, I have had coffee for over 5 hours. I really think this is the way to go.

Another vote for coffee. Well, I usually ask a girl out for real drinks, at night. But either way, I avoid dinner for a first date.

For one, it's less pressure and more casual. The purpose is to spend a little time getting to know the person, and find out if they're worth your time to actually take out on a real date.

Second, why spend the $$? Like littlek said, unless you already know her it's different, but if not there's no reason to taking a girl you don't really know to a restaurant.

And someone else already mentioned, you could start with coffee, and if it's going well than it could turn into a dinner date.

Oh, and taking a woman to Domino's on a first date doesn't usually work out. Even if they're having a special on breadsticks.

...and in your case, Slappy, extend into breakfast. :wink:

On the other hand, a nice but not too expensive place for lunch could be a no harm done thing. Back in Eureka, just across the bridge from town, there was an island called Woodley Island, which featured one of the tinier marinas I've seen, a pleasant view of the city, and a coffee shop with simply terrible food. But, y'know, edible. Breakfast was their best meal. But, you could get a table outside, and inside wasn't bad, a sandwich, iced tea, wine, or a Wild Turkey if you wanted. Fairly quiet place. Prices weren't bad, and it was conducive for talking. We used to go there on work breaks as it was ten minutes away, and we could talk design there as well as anywhere. Something similar to that might work.

We don't know enough here, if you know this date or not. A nicer lunch might make sense, depending. Godforbid and she's like me, discerning.

One more vote for coffee.

It's not about the money..like has been said, it give a person an out if it's not working out after a half an hour, or so.

I've met someone for coffee, or a drink and we've both been so interested in each other that eventually one of us admits to being hungry, and going from there.

whoa...that just made me realize something else....some people, (I'm one of them), don't really feel comfortable eating with another person I don't know well. With my luck I'd get spinach in my teeth and the other person wouldn't say anything.

hints from chai...always let the other person know they have spinach, pesto or cilantro in the teeth.

hints from Intrepid...don't order spinach, pesto or cilantro on a first date.

Don't order salad of any sort.

A coupla decades ago I knew a woman who knew all sorts of interesting dating 'rules'. One of the biggies was that the first coupla 'dates' should not really allow a lot of time for talking - as talking was considered the kiss of death for potential romances. So the first coupla dates were supposed to be to 'events' - movies, plays, free concerts, museums that sorta thing. Where you can look at something together, talk about them (not yourself) over a coffee afterward. Less stress.

I never followed the rules, and did ok without them - but they did make sense to me in a way. Some people just tell you waaaaaaaayyy too much junk at the beginning - cuz they talk when they're nervous - and they won't come across as goofy/annoying/dweeby once you've met a couple of times and they've relaxed.

Probably an age thing, and a personality thing. I am sort of entertainment phobic - which I know is unusual, not that I haven't had wonderful dates going to see jazz combos, say - and enjoy quiet talk.

So, do you all know about Shelley Berman and spinach? I suppose not.. it was a standup comedy riff that I've always remembered even though I must have been 13 when I heard it, since it was so to the point.

Re the age thing, some of us earlier folk got together without all this folderol - different time.

Depends, of course, on how well you know the girl, if you have hung out before or not, how comfortable you are around her, etc. There are no prescribed rules. If you go for something low key, dinner might be just as laid back as going for coffee, and if you're nervous, going for coffee might turn out to be as arduous as a dinner in a five star restaurant... You seem to want to go for dinner... so go for it! That was your first hunch, stick to your instinct.

I'm way past dating, but have two kids in dating mode (she's 24 and he's 21). The norm for them on a first date is coffee, or drinks or possibly dessert and coffee, at the most. If that's working out, maybe follow it up with a walk and chat a little more. No pressure, no big obligation. I can say for a fact that my daughter has never been invited out for dinner on a first date.