Deal Breakers, or, Why They Had a One Night Stand

A real deal breaker for me has been the morning after. Both of you are dressing and getting ready to go to work. He does not shower, nor does he wash his arm pits. He simply applies deoderant. Ugh! Wash first, rinse, then apply!

If a few days afterwards your friends are telling you what you got up to the other night.
He clearly was only doing it to entertain his friends.

Perhaps he wanted to get out fast.

It wasn't a first date but I knew the end was nigh when she put a pizza in the oven with the plastic base on which it was sold still underneath it.

I questioned this (of course ) and she said "that's why it's there"!

As my internet moniker is not just for effect - food and cooking are important to me - this was a pretty solid nail in the coffin of that proto-relationship.

I would never go out with a smoker.

Dishonesty. I find out you lie, it's a deal breaker.

Agree. I have a thing about sticking with reality. If a person lies to me, he or she is history.

I love this song....

Love me love me
Say that you love me
Fool me fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me love me
Pretend that you love me

This, and really bad table manners (holding fork like a shovel, while
gobbling down food, using tooth pick openly etc.)

What a turn-off.

I dated a guy once who stuck his fingers inside the glass while he was drinking (very awkward position!) out of it. It looked like a child who was acting like a clown. Oh and he deliberately slurped the drink loudly. He thought he was cute. I told him he wasn't. After a while I got tired of this 'trick'. It wasn't only annoying but I soon discovered it was indicative of his character.

A deal-breaker for me is 'stupidity'. I don't mean the person has to be smart or extremely clever. I mean the person doesn't act like a total retard. I want to have fun AND intelligent/reasonable conversation.

I share that, heeven. That has been a deal breaker a few times, the too dumb to be a doornail thing. Which is ironic, since I have my own brain drain and always have had. I must, absolutely must, appreciate the fella's brain, basic intelligence plus curiosity, for anything to last over, oh, four days. Well, at my age something new along these lines is fanciful, but still.







OK, I'm older, more impatient. Now it would be two days.

Once, I brought some really good tequila over to the apartment of a young man I had just begun to date. He was a cook in a fancy-schmancy restaurant and he was cooking, so my expectations were pretty high. Granted, he was really an apprentice, not yet a line cook, and was very young and inexperienced. But still.

Dinner was okay, though he didn't know how to translate the recipes he'd learned at work to a home-cooked meal for two. I could do better, even in those days, before I went to cooking school. But he tried, and that was the most important thing. So I was impressed. He tried.


BUT. Back to the tequila. He had this craptastic margarita mix POWDER that he dumped into my Porfidio tequila to kill the taste. Gah. Without asking me how it should be drunk. (Neat. Garnished with lime, if you like.)

I was sad.

(Also, he smoked ridiculous amounts of pot, which I find tedious. Pot doesn't agree with me, so being around people who are high is just kind of boring for me.)

Ouch! That had to hurt.

kitchenpete -- I sounds like she wasn't very bright. We had a college friend of my daughter's room with us for a few months while she got settled in Boston and she told me a similiar story of someone who put water and tea bag and a metal spoon in a cup then microwaved the whole thing. When the girl mentioned -- with alarm -- the blue sparks flying inside the microwave, he just said, "It always does that."

Bella and Phoenix -- Unfornately, not having been used to the body language and narrative style of liars, I ended up marrying one. Many years later, after the divorce, a friend mentioned that men always tell you in some way who and what they are. Well, he had told me an elaborate story about his grandmother, maiden aunt and the cousin of his grandmother coming to his apartment for tea and, allegedly, planting some pantyhose there, setting him for some humorous questions which he answered with, "I use them to clean my records," after an introduction that rambled, "I don't know how I thought of it. I'm a terrible liar."

His use of the word terrible wasn't as a synonym for inept but for prolific.

Chai and Calamity -- I have almost never gone out with smokers and have met very few. Bad table manners are a big deal breaker.

heeven and mary cat -- Both of these guys lacked sophistication. Heeven's date was dangerously immature and mary cat's needed to know when to ask questions, beginning with, "Is this to mix or drink straight?" A little curious, well-directed question will go far, unless, he suffered from the ailment that turns ossobucco off!

This one time, I went on a date with a 6'4 black woman with an ill-fitting blond wig. I found out she had a penis, and that was a deal breaker. Worst part, is I didn't get my $100 back.

But seriously, I'm not a fan of smokers either. But biggest deal breaker is a chick with zero perception of humor. Once I figure out she's not too bright, or can't take sarcasm, I only turn the dial up and piss her off while I'm laughing on the inside.

Are you saying if her wig fit better, it would have turned out ok?