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Thu 6 Jul, 2006 06:51 am
BLONDE JOKES Unlimited ....
Dr Smith psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be
pained in front of his clinic but a blonde painter
painted "Dr Smith Psycho The Rapist"
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Blonde enters shop & shouts, "Where's my free gift with this oil?"
Shopkeeper confused: "There isnt any free gift with this"
Blonde: "Look its written here ..... CHOLESTROL FREE!!"
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A Blonde walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer and
sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When she finishes, she comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
The bartender asks her, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass;
it would taste better if you buy one at a time."
The Blonde replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Malaysia,
the other in Canada and I'm here in London. When they left home, we promised
that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
Blondy became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same
way. She orders 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.
One day, she came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars notice
and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round,
the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on your grief,
but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss. "
Blondy looked confused for a moment, then she laughs ....
"Oh, no," she, said, "Everyone's fine - both my sisters are alive" . "
The only thing is ...........................................
I just quit drinking "!!!
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A Not So blonde Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just won the 10 Million lotto.
Blonde Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ?
Man : Who cares ? Just pack and get lost !
I DON'T LIKE BLONDE JOKES!
You wouldn't post jokes about other races, so why is it okay to stereotype all blondes?
...and why is it only about blonde woman?
...why not blonde men?
I'm a blonde (natural), it's no joke, I have to wear mascara all the time, otherwise people say 'where are your eyes', I can't take the sun and men always assume I'm thick!!!
AND I know plenty of thick blokes, of all hair colour...
Rant over! I'm off to work on my dissertation...
:wink:
Oh, and I just LOVE your signature...
Blonde jokes are no joke, Smorgs.
My girlfriend is blonde and she is one of the most intelligent people I know, her general knowledge is vast and there's nothing she doesn't know about films, this is as well as being kind, witty, fun and so sexy. I agree we should be praising blondes [in my experience] not trying to stigmatise them.
I dyed my hair blonde today.
How does a redhead change a light bulb?
She doesn't, she bitches until someone else does.
what do you call a Redhead with attitude?
Normal
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A redhead!
What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
The piranha. They only attack in schools.
How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Wait 10 seconds
Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy.
One is to let her think she is having her own way,
and the other is to let her have it.
A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"
What's the Redhead Dating Motto?
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
More?
When you have a guilty conscience.
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at
him and say, "hello".
He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So
he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to
his wife and says, "My goodness, are you the stripper from my bachelor
party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while
your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."
I apologize if someone already posted this.
How Blonde Is She???
She was Soooooooo Blonde .
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde ...
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:
She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde....
She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company
I like jokes about blonde women, men, cats, dogs, and such. But then, I like jokes about homosexuals, people of colour or religion, stupid people, clever people. Cuz, a joke is what it is, a joke.
My joke, an oldie;
How do you recognize a swedish child that was born after the Chernobyl meltdown?
Look for the blond eyes and blue hair!
A blind man walks into a bar and after ordering the usual he says to the bartender, “Hey Joe, I got a Blond joke for ya”.
Bartender lowers his voice and says to him “That’s great Bill, but I should tell you that the lady sitting to your left is a body builder, the lady to your right is a tri-athlete and the lady behind you is a women’s boxing champ. All three of them are blonds from the gym next door and look pretty tough. Are you sure you wanna tell that joke now?”
The blind man says “Well not if I have to explain it three times!”
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