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Birthday Invitations Complete With Gimme Lists

 
 
Noddy24
 
Reply Sat 17 May, 2003 10:18 am
Yesterday's mail brought a birthday party invitation. The child to be honored is turning six.

When she was younger, the invitation specified clothing sizes. For the last three years Gimme List has been for Barbie Dolls and Barbie Accessories.

Are Gimme Lists now a standard part of children's party invitations?

Because this is a distant family connection, the invitation cannot be ignored. Because I have never been thanked for my gift (or for gifts given to the three younger children) , this year the "present" will be a check and Mama can spend my money for her daughter's present.

Isn't hard, cold cash always acceptable?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 3 • Views: 7,283 • Replies: 47
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2003 10:33 am
ick, gimme list? Well, I guess it cuts back on having to return gifts.
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2003 10:38 am
When I was a kid (27-40 years ago), there were no "give me" lists, and kids were supposed to thank the guest for anything he/she brought as a gift. It was considered indecent and impolite even to hint to potential guest that the kid would like to receive some particular item (such requests were legitimate if they were made by the kid itself toward parents, maximum grandparents).
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2003 10:41 am
Yeah, I think that's pretty yucky, too.

We haven't really entered the birthday whirl yet, so I dunno. But... ick.

At any rate, given those circumstances, a check would be entirely appropriate, I would think.
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fbaezer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2003 12:30 pm
First, Nursery School graduations. Now this.
America is doing it's best in raising a new and sharper "Gimme" and "Show Me the Money!" generation.
Not good news for the future of the world.

---

Really, we shouldn't be asking: "What world are we going to inherit to our children?", but rather "What children are we going to inherit to the world?".
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2003 07:00 pm
I'm with the others in saying "oiy and ick!" I've never recieved a gimme list, but I'd be thrown If I had. I can't believe you never even recieved a thank you for the gifts you have already given. To me that's just plain rude. The check is a good idea since your efforts are obviously not appreciated.
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Rae
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2003 07:57 pm
Tacky, yes. Appropriate, yes.

But, I only have one niece and a brand-new nephew. With a huge extended family. My sister has never included a 'gimme list' with her invitations, but I always ask in advance what Sadie needs/wants. I never get any of the suggestions though because I'm on a mission to buy the loudest and most annoying gifts I can find.....

My sister did that to me. Payback is hell.
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2003 08:14 pm
LOL Rae ;-) I do the same with my cousins daughter ;-) I always ask what the childs interests are as well, since the whole point is getting them something they like.
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Rae
 
  1  
Reply Sat 17 May, 2003 10:13 pm
Loud is my only plan with my niece and nephew! Shipping up Dougy's drum-set next week! God help my sister..... :wink:
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 May, 2003 12:02 am
Good grief! Shocked
So what are you going to do about a present, Noddy24? Choose something from the list?
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 May, 2003 04:42 am
Smeg the present and the cheque!

Give a piece of coal - to the parents!

(As was supposed to happen to the naughty child at christmas)

sigh.

guess it isn't the kid's fault.

send coal to the parents nonetheless.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 May, 2003 05:13 am
It's been a long time since I was invited to a little kid's party, but I agree with the ick and yuk of the other members. The behavior of those parents is so gross and uncouth. The thing that gets me is that YOU are worrying about whether a cash gift is acceptable. IMO, just giving these clods the time of day is much more than they deserve! Evil or Very Mad
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 May, 2003 02:32 pm
Msolga, Phoenix--

I'm in no way worried about this situation--the little family needs me far more than I need them. I will write a check. Once again, I will absolve myself from attending the birthday festivities (neither the birthday girl nor her little friends are particularly mannerly children).

I'm even getting a horrid satsifaction from contemplating the wedding plans down the road. Bad taste at weddings can be magnificnet.
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 May, 2003 05:06 pm
Rae wrote:
Loud is my only plan with my niece and nephew! Shipping up Dougy's drum-set next week! God help my sister..... :wink:



Rae
That's a riot and I love it, hahaha!
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 May, 2003 05:36 pm
I know you're kidding about the wedding thing, but it is possible that this child will acquire proper manners as she matures. Before 6, thank-you cards are handled by the parent, not the child -- buying the card (or organizing the creation of one), writing the message (or taking dictation), possibly handing the card to the child to sign, addressing the envelope, applying a stamp, getting it to the post-office...

My parents generally thought thank-you cards were bourgeois, or something, and I only got into them when I was older.
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 May, 2003 06:48 pm
Noddy, it's almost as if you have a crystal ball and can see what the future holds, huh? With parents like hers, I doubt this child has any chance of acquiring proper manners and your prediction is more than likely right on target. You may as well write that check and forget about it.
I've never heard of a gimme list for anything other than a bride and groom. A kiddie birthday? It can't get much tackier than that. Who comes up with these ideas? How do they catch on? Is it just plain ol' greed or what?
0 Replies
 
Rae
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 May, 2003 10:50 pm
I blame it all on Martha Stewart.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 May, 2003 08:34 am
...or maybe wedding registries?

...or the fact that people giving gifts to each other may not actually *know* each other that well?

For example, my extended family on my mother's side exchanges gifts for Christmas. It would certainly be tempting to give them a "wish list" (not that I ever would.) The things I get almost always promptly go to Goodwill. My aunt and uncle are both teachers, and fairly frequently we turn over the bauble from them to find a tag saying some variation of "To Mr./Mrs. Auntanduncle -- Merry Christmas!". (Re-gifting.)

So the whole gimme list thing doesn't surprise me too much, I just think it's tacky.
0 Replies
 
Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 May, 2003 08:57 am
I have attended many birthday celebrations for children and have never seen or heard of a "gimmee list." IMO, it is totally tacky and I'd immediately discard it. Certainly I'd disregard it. If I'm going to give a present and am confused about what to get, I will call the child and ask what his/her heart's desire is. Obviously you want to please; it is a birthday.

I don't think Martha Stewart, the doyen of personalized thank you notes and hand-made gifts, would approve of this gimmee list at all!
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Mon 19 May, 2003 09:08 am
I'm afraid the "gimme" list for birthdays reflects a change in American manners.

As a child I violently disliked dolls--all you could do with a doll was take care of it. All the same, birthday presents (and often Christmas presents) were frequently dolls.

Saying, "Thank you very much," was manditory. I did not have to say, "This is just what I wanted," but my mother insisted that I make some pleasant comment about the doll or about the donor.

And that I smile and sound sincere.

Five years ago I mildly expostulated with the Mother of the Birthday girl, announcing that I'd never been crazy about gifts of clothing (sizes were given) as a child and I would rather give a book. The rebuttal was, "But I want her to have pretty clothes."

As a child, the Mother of the Birthday Girl never had enough Barbies--or Barbie accessories. The Birthday Girl has been encouraged to adore Barbies....

The check is in the mail.
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