I can tell from the answers, Mame, that you're looking more for solidarity with you & your daughter than for diverse input, but I'm gonna be the spoilsport I'm afraid... ;-)
Mame wrote:nimh: you say you think it's 'inhospitable' for her to say no, but the thing is, is this going to happen every time?
Well, if it
is gonna happen every time, then yes, she'll certainly be right to make a fuss
then.
If its their mother who died - I mean, I can see how her death, of course, would have been grievous to everyone, but it is
their mother - I'm sorry, but that, IMO, is not the moment to make trouble between them over practicalities. That's a moment to set your own sensitivities aside for the moment.
That said, of course, it would probably also be a great idea for the two of them to get out for a weekend on their own, no family around, just to spend some time together.
But, again, from the sound of it, that was not what
this time was about, was it? I mean, it was clear from the start the whole family was supposed to be there, going together? So if that was the problem, and your daughter would simply rather just have had the weekend alone with him, and there is somehow (work? children?) no chance at all to do both, then she should have brought it up before, when the idea was first hatched. That is not something that should then come out after all over something like sharing a tent.
What I mean to say is, it sounds like this trip was really important for your SIL; that, after their mother's death, it really meant a great deal to him that they would all go on a trip away together. So if that all threatened to fall apart because she didnt want to share their tent, I can see how he got emotional/frustrated. Doesnt make it right to make such a fight over it, but I could see where he's coming from.
Then again, I probably lack the sensitivity re: sharing a tent with someone of the other gender that different posters have expressed here. Most of my friends are women, so I've shared a tent, a room, whatever, with women who were not my girlfriend, and neither they nor I was particularly uncomfortable about it ... that might be a cultural thing.