I left him!

Excuse my ignorance, but what is the OP?

I guess religion does have something to do with it. It does happen to be the root and source of a lot of my anxieties/fears of hell. I cannot get on the highway without wondering if the car next to me suddenly swerved into my lane and I couldn't avoid an accident and I died that I would go to hell. I think about it just about every day. If I die today, I will go to hell. I've been trying to tell myself that I don't believe in hell. But let's face it, belief in an image that strong doesn't just disappear when you start committing mortal sins (fornication).

I tried to tell myself that I could stop having sex with my boyfriend. He was even willing to do that. However, I felt myself pulling away from my religious roots when with him. I was pulling away before him. But I thought if I am on such shaky ground, maybe I should figure out my relationship with God before I get involved with anybody (let alone someone with such vastly different beliefs than me).

Maybe religion caused my depression...but I think it's more complicated than that. There are also issues of sexual abuse, a drug addict mother, and lots of stuff that I've been repressing for years that I don't generally talk about on this forum. That and I am graduating next year and I have no f***ing clue what I want to do with my life! I'm not saying I have more issues than the next person. But I don't think that I'm being a complete moron here. Maybe my bf could help me to deal with these issues. But I'm starting to think that I have to deal with myself alone before I can be in a healthy relationship.

That is the smartest thing you have ever written, daniellejean.

Follow that intuition.

Reading this d-jean, I'm now thinking maybe you are right.

I'm really glad you are getting talk therapy.
Re the preoccupation with religion....I know right where you are. When I was younger, I had a huge fear of going to hell, became very anxious over it, feeling there was nothing I could do about it etc.

Today, I realize I wasn't giving God enough credit for his love for us.

The word fornication......that's an idea created by people with dirty minds. But, that's a subject for another day.

Don't throw out the baby with the bath water d-jean.
Getting the right type of help doesn't necessary mean years and years of threrapy.

It can be a watershed moment, an epiphany if you will. It can suddenly all make sense, and you can go on from there fine tuning it and going on with your life.

God wants you to enjoy life, and to have love in it.

Oh BTW I think OP meant opening post?

"original post"

What statistics and from what government? May we have a link please?



I have to agree with Chai Tea and re-enforce what I think is a great point: Similarity in core beliefs in morals and right behavior is more important than religion. Some religous people are immoral and hypocritical and some Atheists are very moral and honest.

Also a couple posts up someone said(forgive me for not double checking) "don't over complicate matters". This is a key point.

It sounds like the core issue is your depression and issues daniellejean
and nothing this poor guy believes(or does not believe) or has done. Maybe you should re-evaluate and let the guy know the real problem in the relationship.

Another example of the damage religion does!

Well, that is certainly being a help.

I can't speak for d-jean, but for myself, I was prone to wanting to grasp onto something that would be an all encompassing "rule" that would ensure life would run properly....

Since religion was a presence in my home, it was the logical thing to grab onto.

If it wasn't religion, it would have been something else.

This is the relationship & marriage thread, let's not turn it into God-bashing.

What d-jean is going through, is what d-jean is going through. Critisizing something important to her is not being a help. Why not just tell her to "snap out of it"?

I doubt religion will ever be unimportant in her life, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Of course there's something wrong with that. I'd love to see statistics on the connection between mental illness and religion.

Well....no one's stoppin' ya.

go forth and seek that knowledge....

Thank you all for your help and understanding (with the exception of Wilso, no offense). I have been taking measures to distance myself from him. I haven't spoken to him in 4 days. Considering we spoke every day for the past 2.5 months, that seems like an eternity for me. I went down to see some friends in Massachusetts and distracted myself. It didn't keep me from crying all over my chicken curry (my friend is Indian), but it helped some. I went to the beach. We watched movies. And it was a good weekend all in all.

Now I am meeting with my therapist and my psychiatrist this morning. But I am still in so much pain. I am still fighting every bit of myself that is telling me to call him or drive down to see him. But there is nothing I could say that would make any of this any better. All I can think to say is, "I love you and I'm sorry I hurt you." But that doesn't help. It makes it worse for both of us. I just want to see his face, feel his kiss. I'm being so selfish. I'm just ranting here. Please ignore it if you want. But he is such a beautiful person. He brought me to the hospital at 1 in the morning. God I miss him!

But I am sick...