New Babies...What's All the Fuss About?

And you're going to deliver at home, with a midwife, and no drugs... right?

And you must breastfeed....

And use cloth diapers...

Or no diapers at all...

Welcome to A2K, Bohne.

Best wishes for a speedy delivery and, you're right, they are all perfect!

Hi Bella,

Congratulations on posting a new thread! You must be so happy! Look at that little thread...just look at it!

Your little topic. It's just great.

I was thrilled when people congratulated me, and I felt as though I deserved every bit of it. It was a huge achievement for me. We'd been through years of infertility and finally beat the odds.

I didn't want children until I was in my 30s, though. Was positively dead certain about it. But obviously, I changed my mind. It took me awhile to figure out how to be a mother on my own terms, not my parents' or anyone else's. And time to get myself settled in a good relationship and able to provide for a child financially as well.

That said, if I hadn't changed my mind, I sure wouldn't have felt any need to justify my decision to remain childless. Parenting isn't for everyone, just as marriage isn't for everyone. You don't owe anyone an explanation, Bella & Chai.

I often wonder what God was thinking, giving children to some of the so-called "parents" I see. Children belong in homes where they are loved and wanted.

THIS is an achievement.

Getting pregnant on your first shot. Not so much. :wink:

Even after 5 pages, I still don't get it...I still don't know why we have to congratulate people for having had sex...maybe it's my warped mind...sorry.

I know - i know it's a new life and all that...but does it warrant so much jubilation...you should see the jubilation here in India...

I want to have children. I love reading sozobe's sozlet stories...but I dont get the congrats thing....

As an aside, has anyone (Chai, esp) read "farewell waltz" by Milan Kundera? The book has some thoughts on...bringing (or not bringing) children into this world.

O dear, don't tell anybody that I am not taking Vitamins...
I'd never hear the end of it!
And why do particularly men (be they fathers or not) know how good breastfeeding for you and your baby will be.

Bääh, I can't even stand the thought of it.
Sorry bean, you'll be a bottle baby just like I was!

Sorry for changing the subject slightly, but no, I do not see what the congratulations are about either.

I got congratulations on getting pregnant. That's even more weird....

I did too..

many MANY times when I was in my first trimester..

kinda left me staring at people a little wierd.. ya know..

Bohne, are you happy to be pregnant?

At first, I didn't read too much into your comments about not wanting to stay at home with your baby. But the more I read, the more I wonder. You hate the idea of breastfeeding, you're not even taking your vitamins...etc.

Of course, it's possible everything will change once you have the baby. But it doesn't sound like you're really "into" motherhood yet.

I could be wrong, though. Please prove me wrong.

When i was in Korea (1971, when they were still poor), it was quite common to see small children in the streets of villages wearing a t-shirt . . . and nothing else.

I still like the congratulations thing as a simple acknowledgement of good fortune.

You won the lottery, wow, congratulations!

You have a new baby, wow, congratulations!

The arrival of a wanted baby is always good fortune.

(Eva, I know what you mean, trying not to jump on the "just you wait" bandwagon that I know annoys the heck out of people... )

Clarification -- that's not "just you wait" as in, everyone will end up wanting a baby at some point (not true at all, and nobody should have a baby if they don't want to nor get any grief for that decision). It's more towards "Motherhood, in actuality, might not be quite what you currently expect it to be..."

Bohne, how immediately will you be going back to work? Do you have any contingency plan IF (just if, not saying it will happen, simply if) you find that once the baby is born the idea of going back to work so quickly isn't as appealing anymore?

Bohne's covered her plans on the cohabitation thread, sozobe.

Great/interesting to hear from someone with her perspective.

Soz...I'm with ya. There just seems to be an element here that I can't quite put my finger on, that troubles me somewhat. I hope she's happy, will wait for her reply.

I think I may have brought the "immediately" over from the cohabitation thread; wanted to ask something about it when I saw it, didn't.

Don't know Bohne well and happy to see new faces; just curious.

Personally, I think new babies are worth the fuss!

Heck.. I better get a congratulations for pushing a watermelon out of that tiny tunnel of mine through endless hours of labour. I would love something more for that effort but just a congratulations would do, thankyou.

Many girl friends of mine would always comment on seeing a kid "Sooo cuuuute", they still do. I never felt that inside on seeing someone else's baby. If they were talking to a baby they would do baby talk.. I never did. If they met a pregnant woman they would be like.. how are you feeling, it must be great to have a kid and I used to stare. I used to doubt if I was going to be a good mother.

@sozobe:
I have told my boss that I will be back after eight weeks.
The eight weeks I am not allowed to work by law, and I will get full pay.
Theoretically I can change my mind till two weeks after the birth.
I just don't see that happening.
Just yesterday a colleague tried to convince me, that I would never be able to give up my baby. A lot he knows about me.
And why is it 'giving up the baby'? Out of 24 hours in the day, if I am only with him for 15, that surely must count for something...
Funny enough, nobody ever approached my husband (i.e. the father :wink: ) about wanting to go back to work two weeks after the birth.
He's not a monster for wanting to get on with his life.

I totally agree with Bohne...

I agree with Bohne too. As a matter of fact, she is saying the exact same things I said when I was pregnant with my first. Then I delivered my child and it wasn't anything I anticipated. I know Chai's going to notice this, but I'm not saying that only mothers know what it feels like. I'm saying, as a corporate ladder climber, I NEVER anticipated wanting to stay home with my child. I went back to work as scheduled, formula-fed my daughter, and within weeks knew that I didn't want to be the evening caregiver while paying someone else to tend to most of her waking hours. I felt like the baby-sitter, not the other way around.

Bohne, millions of women return to work. You, and they, have every right to do so. If your career is part of what brings you fulfillment as a person then that is what you should do. You won't be doing anyone, particularly your child, any favors by staying home and being miserable. On the other hand, don't be surprised if you change your mind later. Make the best decisions for you and your family, whatever they might be.