Entertaining the female - What to do when she's silent

Definately need a female perspective on this one. Any takers?
The best I can do is suggest you do just what she asked: talk to her. Tell her about your day, how work went, the jerk that cut you off on the way home, your childhood, that dumb thing your friend did when he was drunk. Anything. Ask her how she's doing, how her day went. If she's unresponsive to your questions or gets mad that you're trying to get her to talk, just change gears back to talking about yourself. Try to take her out someplace that doesn't require much talking. Go to a movie. Take her to dinner and talk to her. See how that goes.
I sure did manage to babble on quite well after calling for a female touch here. :wink:
Good luck.

Humm, did you buy her? Does she actually belong to you?




Since she's bought and paid for, I'd return her...for a new model. Do you still have the sales slip?



Ok, SERIOUSLY Why are you bothering to try to entertain her?

Is not capable of speech while in a state of depression?

I'm sorry, but not buying it.

Why is she even bothering to get off the couch if she can't speak? Doesn't want to speak? HUH? A state of depression that renders her speechless, but does not render her depressed enough to keep her from going out?

And tell you to entertain her...must be fun being the puppetmaster...and pulling those strings.

Do you jump through hoops is she tells you too?

I'd either tell her to get a voice or get a new boyfriend....but then you'd better hope you kept the sales slip...

You're right. I shouldn't have used this terminology. I apologize and I do take it back, seriously.

She's just someone im planning to get to know more. And she is willing to do that too. But on our first date tomorrow, she's telling me that "hey...i maybe very silent and not in the mood to talk..im gonna count on you to entertain me..." .... so i have to show her that i CAN handle her in such a situation and cheer her up....and that's where im looking for your tips guys and gals

Oh my. This situation sounds troubling. I'd be a little put off by someone saying "you have to entertain me." It'd be one thing if you knew her, it's another if you don't.

its a period she's going thru guys...and i need to help her at this time..come on...what should i do? leave her alone? no .. its a challenge and i need to face it

Well. She has certainly laid down the law and set the tone for any possible relationship you may have with her in the future.

She is not required to put forth any effort whereas it's your assigned job to do all the talking and to entertain her.

Perhaps you can learn how to juggle, perform card tricks, bark the national anthem, sit, roll over, and fetch. If you're lucky, she will be pleased and give you a little scratch behind the ears.

Have fun on your forthcoming date with YOUR female companion!

Eeks! She doesn't sound like much fun at all.

Hey, I've gone through periods of depression too. But it doesn't seem fair at all to show up to a date and say "Ok. I'm not going to do anything. You entertain ME".

Boring and bossy! Yeah, I don't like the precident (is that the word) she is setting. Like Deb said.

Even depressed there are nice things that one can do without being razzle-dazzle or talking a whole lot.
If you're determined to take her out on this date and get to know her more, I'd suggest a relaxing atmosphere where the weight for either of you to be 'entertaining' is significantly gone. Like a play, movie, or something.

Then you don't have to talk to her!

Sounds like a lot of effort for very little benefit. And on a FIRST date no less.

Most silent women respond very nicely to gifts of either a 10 carat diamond or a full length mink coat.

Ok, Why do you have to face it?

Why is it your responsibility to be the only entertainment on a FIRST DATE?

WOW, that would make me wanna take her out...geez, she's not going to talk, expects me to stand on my head and do tricks for her....


Your wasting your time, honestly,...someone thats not interested in talking to you..on a first date?

Sorry buddy, but she's not interested in YOU!

She's just going along for the entertainment....and Hey.. its free!

Take some interesting magazine with you and read her the highlights in the best articles? Maybe some funny tabloid Bush!t or some heavy duty thought provoking stuff?

guys i understand and i know what you mean..

this is unfair. true

but...

she is in a period of DEPRESSION. i.e...the girl is a bit sick. i.e it is normal for her to act in this way. she is not doing it inetntionally. she is telling me that this is her situation and she is asking for my help. it is a temporary, unintentional situation which is out of her control and she is asking for my help in it....im willing to help her in those early beginnings and sacrifice for this.....why surrender so quick?

Could we have some insight into the cause of her 'temporary' depression?

How can I say this delicately (bc I know I suck at tact)....

Being in the midst of depression is not a great time to start dating someone new.
That someone new is YOU.

Has she been on your radar for a long time? >maybe wait til she better to date

I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, but still think this is weird and a set-up for you to get hurt.

I agree with Flushd...she gives great advice, I'd take it.


Have you two been friends for awhile? Known each other before the initial date plans? Give us some history?

But my question is this: "Why do you feel the need to help her?"



Most of us...do suffer with periods of depression, I do.



As in???? Depression or just mentally unstable?



No...People that know or realize they are in a state of depression...and understand it, as you've stated she does...they usually want help.
BUT..they try to deal with it, try to bring themselves up out of it.

She's accepted a date, thats great...but to tell you that you are the entertainment is wrong. Sorry...

If anything...she needs to use this date to help lighten the depression, instead of putting a strain on you beforehand. How uncomfortable can that be?



How can remaining silent help? Why not interact with you....? And again, why did she ask you?



Willing? Sacrifice?....Surrender? Get it?

For a first date?

Honestly, I'd tell her...that you have thought about it, if she needs help for depression, that maybe you'd be willing to help her in some way..but I'd put off the first date...till she was up to interacting with you.

That would leave some impression on me.........

Uhm umm wait a second y'all (and that includes Vonderjohn perhaps).

Look at this line, and imagine hearing it outside the super-heavy context John has placed it in.

"hey...i maybe very silent and not in the mood to talk..im gonna count on you to entertain me..."

Imagine it with a kinda giggle or an apologetic smile, or whatever.

Say - totally speculating here, but say - you're going on a first date, you're kinda nervous cause you're feeling a little silent, but you do wanna go out, you're talking with the guy who's taking you out on a date, can you imagine slipping out a sentence like that, with a grin or a playful nudge perhaps?

Cause I can... (saying that, or someone saying that to me)

I dunno, but just perhaps Vonderjohn is taking this one sentence, said in we dont know what context, waaaaay to seriously? And literally?

No offence John, but it wouldnt be the first time ... from what i remember, at least, you tend to sometimes talk of "females" like they're some foreign species you're analysing..

Then again I'm also confused about the set-up here - you're going on a first date, it's someone you want to get to know better -- but you also already know personal depths about her depression? Has she been a friend or colleague for a long time or something of the like?

Perhaps we should not jump to conclusions (specially about her) until we get some more context...?

vonderjohn no offense but you must not be very experienced with women.... here's what to do when your woman is silent... it's real simple.

JUST BE GRATEFUL

LOL!

LOL. .

Jumping to conclusions is whats I do best. Go wit the gut.
Think about it.....

if this broad is a playful minx who was just kidding or something, and John took it literally (as did I), then it ain't gonna work!

The man needs a straight-up chicky. lol.
jumping..again...and..again...again....