Adoption home study.

Just hand-holding, wish I had some practical advice.

I'm sure it'll be fine. (He's been there for 3.5 years already, wow!) Good luck!

Thank you, soz. I need hand holding.

Actually getting the adoption process started has been.... strange. Up until now it has all been speculative. I can't imagine getting a "No" but it could happen and then there is no place to go. I am very nervous.

If they say no, then they are fools. More hand-holding from here.

I don't know how many hands you have, but if there are any left that need holding, I'm your girl.

Maybe CalamityJane will be along.

Heeerreeee!!!

Don't worry boomer, you won't get a "No" - certainly not you!
Call the social service office they'll send you an application and all
necessary paperwork. Once you have the documents, take about
5 weeks vacation in a desolate island and fill out the papers.

Well, it's not that bad, but you'll need a lot of time, and not only you -
Mr. B will get his own package and you both have to fill out your
questionnaire individually. Now I don't know how it will be in Oregon,
but here in California, the questions concerning my biography were
already 5 pages, and the majority of questions were pertaining to
my upbringing, parental relationship, punishment and conflict resolving.

Additionally, you'll have a physical (HIV testing), finger printing along
with supplying financial statements and credit reports. You also need
a backup plan in case something happens to you and Mr. B - testament,
guardianship and financial welfare for Mo (living will is excellent here).

It is overwhelming at first, but you'll get through it rather fast - except
for the bio.

After all your paperwork is completed, a social worker will come to
your home to assess if it is childproof. Now, in your case, it is much
easier, as Mo is already living with you, nonetheless, they need to
assess your home in order to complete the homestudy. The social worker will tell you most likely right then and there that you have passed, but you'll receive an official statement as well.

Once you have the package from social services and have questions,
you always can PM me. I'd be happy to help you. Good luck!

Thank you hand holder and thank you CJane!

I'm really surprised at how downright nervous I became when the wheels really got sent into motion.

As I sat clicking "check mail" all morning Mr. B called and said that the attorney was sending over a CD that he thinks has all of the paperwork and a step by step walkthrough of the process.

The bio thing sounds like a fright but the rest of it sounds easily managed.

Except the back up plan.

That is kind of complicated.

That is going to require some thought.

We have a strategy session scheduled with our attorney tomorrow morning.

Mr. B is on the freak about all the things that need to get done in our house before we have the home study take place.

The ball is rolling.

Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Or pray.

Or chant.

Or light a candle.

Or whatever.

Oooh!

I'll put a little offering in front of my statue of Ganesh. He's the remover of obstacles, seems appropriate...

I missed this thread! I'm sure you'll be fine! Breath deep. Accept hand-holding...... what all needs to be done before this home study?

I'll sacrifice a lamb for you, boomer.
After that we're doing the IRS refund dance for you (works for all
government and state agencies).

Don't worry boomer, you'll do just fine. You're more equipped and
ready than most expecting biological parents.

Good luck!

Oh I have a beautiful Ganesh! I'll give him something grand tonight.

A lot needs to be done just to get our house looking orderly -- it is a bit torn up right now as we have been doing some remodeling projects.

Really though it isn't much more than shopping (ugh) for the products, picking stuff out and getting it put in. Theoretically, it could be done in a couple of weeks.

As CJane recommended five weeks of solitude just to get the bio done I don't think the current disrepair of our house would count against us.

We've been able to take advatange of the child tax credit for several years but we did just learn that there is a $10,000 tax credit towards adoption that we can use!

A lamb sacrifice is so extreme!

Thank you.

$ 10,000 tax credit? Hm, I haven't heard about that one...

Well, I had the lamb chops at home already

More hand-holding and finger-crossing from here, boomer.

(Don't forget to breathe.)

I really don't think you'll have any problems boomer. When they come to visit the house they are just looking for a few things - How you (and Mr. Boomer) interact with Mo and how he interacts with you, Whether there are any major safety issues, that he is being provided with a clean/healthy place to live, whether or not he has adjusted to the environment (i.e. has he put up his own stuff in the bedroom? Does he refer to things in terms of ownership (i.e. his dresser, his room, his storage area in the garage, etc..)? etc..

The whole idea is to see if he has adjusted to living with you and Mr. Boomer and if you two are acting as parents typically would. They'll talk to Mo privately too - to see if he knows what is going on and what he thinks about it.

Unless you or Mr. B have some undisclosed criminal record or haven't been paying your bills I can't imagine you'd have anything to wrorry about.

I don't have a lamb but I will gladly sacrifice some tofu for you tonight.

I'm not into sacrificing lamb or tufu, but I've filled two hummingbird feeders. One for Mo and one for you and Mr. B. Mo is on the east side--you two are on the south.

We've got some spinach we could sacrifice for a good cause.

Ok - this is the good cause.

I'll explain to Set that he's having spinach cuz he likes Boomer and Mo.

Yeah!

It went really, really well. Thank you all for your charms!

Our attorney says we are in great shape to move ahead. He expects it to be quick and relatively painless. He laughed about our home study concerns asking -- Do you have a criminal history I should know about? Any drug or alcohol problems? Are you shooting rats with pellet guns in your living room? Answering no, no and no put us right in there as perfect candidates.

By some quirky stroke of fate, Mo's mOther called this morning right as we were walking out the door. We haven't talked to her much lately so my stomach was churning all morning. She called back when I got home and wanted to bring the twins over for a visit since they were spending the day with her today.

She did and we all had a lot of fun!

What a weird day.