childhood friendship gone very sour....

Re: childhood friendship gone very sour....


Sixteen years ago you were both different people. I can't imagine why this wouldn't be the last straw.

JB said it. Sounds like you really need to move on from this friend.
I do know how hard it is to cut off the ties with an old friend, though.
I had a few like your friend.

Very few friends are meant to last a lifetime. You're lucky if you meet one or two.

I think it's time for you to consider this friendship a thing of the past. Let it go.

yeah i agree, it's just well hard. especially when i see her everywhere

I supoose it is because we were so close until january , we even went away together for two weeks in december 9where the abuse began on a serous level when she was drunk).

Yeah, it is hard when this person has been a part of your life for so long, but if you leave things as they are, you're allowing yourself to be abused.

Good luck with your situation.

It'll be tough, but maintain your distance. Be friendly if she comes up to you, but don't approach her. Be noncommittal about meeting up, then don't. Or, if that's not your style, just tell her you're busy. She'll get the point pretty soon.

Since you will be running into her from time to time, I think the best course of action would to be blandly pleasant when you see her. Don't accept any more invitations, make up an excuse. If she begs for another chance, don't fall for it.

I have a friend (she thinks we are friends) who just pops up everyonce in a while. She will just show up on my doorstep and insist on coming in. I think she is still comparing lifestyles just to see which one of us is ahead. When I see her caller ID, I don't pick up the phone. Once she called me on her cell and said, Guess where I am? Turns out she was in my driveway so I couldn't pretend I wasn't home.

It's not so much that she is a bad person, she just doesn't have boundaries and always wants to talk about everything that was embarrassing to me when I was 16. Laughs her head off over some of the spitefull stuff she did, I just got tired and try to avoid her as much as possible.

Don't let the former friend upset you or bait you, Some people just have a hard time acknowleging each other as adults after childhood friendships.
I'm sure some of the older posters here have been to High School or College reunions. The few times I was talked into going, I always regreted it. You just never know how people will turn out. The last time I attended one of those things, one former classmate got drunk and was verbally abusive to my husband. Apparently she felt she knew me better than he did, it was a nightmare. Made a wonderful impression on my husband who attended schools in a different state.

thanks for the input guys, i definatley agree with all of it it's just gonna be a bit of a battle in the begining. i personally think she is jealous of me as wierd things always came up when she was drunk.

You keep mentioning the drinking.

Do you think she's an alcoholic?

People can become addicted at an early age, but often binge drinking seems to be more likely with teenagers and young adults. Still isn't a good idea especially it you are a nasty drunk.

I think she has a drink and drug problem chai. it's really scary.

Keep as far away from her as you can. If she flames out you don't want to be there.

And didn't you recently quit? I think that's maybe part of the process of quitting, extracting yourself from the relationships that were based on drugs/ alcohol (or involved it, anyway).

does she realize it?

Is she loosing other friends also?

I gotta go for awhile, but I'm really interested in your answers.
I'll be back later.

yeah did, but we've been friends since i was six so there was more to it then drugs and drink.

See i knew i was beggining to go down "the rabbit hole" so i stopped and she just kept on going. I think she detests me for that.

That'd make sense. You can, she can't.

Maybe you can put things explicitly in those terms. Say that you'd be interested in seeing her again when she's back from the brink.

(Love the new avatar btw.)

She may, it's hard to justify your behaviour when you can't control others. My former husband offered me a cigarette years ago while we waited for the doctor to see my son. I said no thanks, I quit. He said, Oh yeah? and blew smoke in my face.

Thanks soz i dig it too! it's superlegal amiga!

yeah she got all abusive towards me in Balito cos some boy she fancied kissed me on the dancefloor and not her. So she started a real scene and then stormed off into the dark night at 2 am in the morning in kwazulu natal, i was really scared, i didn't have a car so i couldn't go looking for her, i cried and these security gaurds took pity on me and drove me around Balito (small costal town near Durban) till we found her. So needless to say i never spoke to the hot dance floor boy again.