Aaah, yes, I imagine the butter would be the key ingredient with that technique.
Wait a minute...are you volunteering to "butter my scone" for me?
Interesting offer...
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Lord Ellpus
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 04:42 pm
Why does the subject of butter always come up when I am just about to go to bed?
I'll coat the scones and put them back in the breadbin. It'll save me some time in about four hours.
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sozobe
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 04:43 pm
Ah, the expert in scone-buttering.
I'll defer to His Lordship.
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Lord Ellpus
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 04:44 pm
Ah, my little samosa buddy from Ealing!
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kickycan
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 04:53 pm
Wait a minute. Am I still getting my scones buttered or what?
Ooh, I'm getting that dump urge again. Ooh, it feels like this is gonna be a big 'un. Gotta run!
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Lord Ellpus
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 04:57 pm
I once went for a pee in a remote French lay by, just off a very busy road.
There was a turd there that one only ever dreams of producing.
It was at least two feet long, a perfect colour and coiled round in a decreasing circle. If one was to place a walnut in the top, it could have been mistaken for a giant walnut whip.
There....that's my classy post for the evening.
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Gala
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 05:14 pm
Lord Ellpus wrote:
I once went for a pee in a remote French lay by, just off a very busy road.
There was a turd there that one only ever dreams of producing.
It was at least two feet long, a perfect colour and coiled round in a decreasing circle. If one was to place a walnut in the top, it could have been mistaken for a giant walnut whip.
There....that's my classy post for the evening.
That is too funny, I haven't had that good of a laugh in a long time. That is truly some tasteful scatological humor.
Kicky, this is not good. Drink yourself a big glass of water, that ought to get things moving.
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Gala
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 05:15 pm
Lord Ellpus wrote:
There was a turd there that one only ever dreams of producing.
It was at least two feet long, a perfect colour and coiled round in a decreasing circle. If one was to place a walnut in the top, it could have been mistaken for a giant walnut whip.
At long last, I believe I've just found my signature line.
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kickycan
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 05:39 pm
Aren't prunes supposed to help with this type of problem?
I wonder, because I have shoved at least a dozen of the little f*cking things up there, and still nothin'!
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djjd62
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 05:42 pm
oh my, i hope they were pitted
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Stray Cat
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 05:59 pm
Later on that night, Kicky regales his buddies at the bar:
Kicky: Yep, I've had some dumps in my time, guys...but this one.... The seat creaked under me! But I kept right on going and going....I didn't let up.....it took everything I had.....and then some!
It was like....I'd been using that toilet all my life.....
Other guys: (whistling)...DAMN!!!
Kicky: Yep, (shaking head)....that was a dump to remember alright.... and that was.....(singing)..one HEEEELLLLAVA TOILET........
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djjd62
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 06:12 pm
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2PacksAday
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Tue 4 Apr, 2006 07:11 pm
If you want to sh!t with ease
Place your elbows on your knees
Put your hands up under your chin
And stick your arse hole out an in.
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Lord Ellpus
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Wed 5 Apr, 2006 12:00 am
About seven hours have passed since my last post.
Tell me Kicky, have you "logged off" yet?
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Chai
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Wed 5 Apr, 2006 08:00 am
This is from this weeks PostSecret.com
kicky, this was from you, wasn't it?
It's the real reason you left your other job, wasn't it?
your co-worker Earl was showing up in the restroom the same time you were a little too often, wasn't he?
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gustavratzenhofer
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Wed 5 Apr, 2006 08:16 am
I was going to be distasteful and place an image of a large turd on this thread. I went to Google Image and typed in "Enormous Turd"
Do we all have the inbuilt embarrasment of never wanting or needing to go to the pooh in a public toilet or anywhere other than home, or are you guys all ok with that and you havent been brainwashed into clenching the ole but cheeks with all of your might for hours on end until you get to a safe place?
