The Evil Genie game:

Granted. Especially for you, the series Beverly Hills 90210 is started again... And you get to live 24/7 inside of it.

I wish my television would only show shows I like and no commercials.

its a toy car or it is a beat up piece of junk.

Granted. Unfortunately, you only really like one show---and it is shown over and over and over again---until you go completely nuts and throw the TV through the window.


I wish the world's best chef would marry me and take over all the cooking.

Granted. Unfortunately, the world's best chief cook is an eighty year old Italian from Sicily with no knowledge of english, a grumpy disposition, and limited intellectual capabilities. He already has a wife of the same age, who is very religious and most unhappy about your marriage to him. Her three daughters also come along, and instigated by their mother they continually try to make your life a living hell. Finally, you find out our Italian chief is an absolute wizard with fish dishes, they are absolutely delicious. He most especially loves to serve sardines, and about 80% of his dishes revolve around this fish, which you happen to dislike intensely.

I wish for a pair of pants which will always provide me with a 20$ bill in the local current currency, whenever I put my hand in my pocket.

Granted. In the year 3000 you wake up again to find that you have been reincarnated and that you are a hobo, but you find a pair of pants with your desired ability. You take out a $20 bill and go to the local market to get something to eat, only to find that inflation has caused a bag of chips (99 cents nowadays) to become $5 trillion. Infuriated, you start fishing out thousands and thousands of $20 bills, but all that will buy you is a "free" sample at Costco. You become infuriated and decide to climb a mountain and jump off of it. On the way, you get raped by a mad wild goat and your legs bitten of so you cannot walk or jump off of the mountain. While desperately edging your way to the edge, a modern day technological blizzard comes along and cryogenically freezes you.

In the year 4000 you wake up again to find that you have been reincarnated...


I wish that I had a swimming pool (full of properly chlorinated water) in my backyard that could never be struck by lightning and that I could never drown in, nor break any part of my body while in or close to it.

It's yours. Too bad you are dreadfully afraid of large bodies of water, and refuse to come close to any amount large enough to fill a big bathtub.
Since your swimming pool takes up most of your yard, you are no longer capable of enjoying said yard outside. In the summer, all you can do is sit behind your window, looking miserably at the children playing in your pool, wishing you could join them.

I wish I could enjoy a delicious tenderloin whenever I elt like it.

Poof....you're a wolf!!!


I wish I could get eight hours of sleep every night, instead of the four of five that I usually get.

You got the desired eight hours of sleep. In 8 periods of 59 minutes each, with 1 minute of wakey wakey time to fill the gap, and 8 minutes in the last hour to fill the time to exactly eight hours. Strangely enough, you grow dead tired in the space of a week.

I wish I could design the flag for my own country, the Netherlands.

Granted. You have created the new flag of the Netherlands. Unfortunately, the new flag is your undershorts and the country has been renamed the Netherregions and withdraws from the EEC in embarrassment.




I wish I could communicate with animals like Dr. Doolittle.

dr doolittle is an actor so the wish was a waste and the genie is annoyed at the waste of magic and eats you

i wish i was irresistable and people would do anything i comanded

Granted.

Unfortunately you can't resist saying "B*gger me!" and other expletive phrases which make you really sorry to have people do everything you said.


I wish I could see my computer screen out in the sunny garden.

You, and everybody else currently attending your tea party for high society ladies, can see the screen clearly. Unfortunately, you forgot the 'naughty' screensaver you put on it...

I wish my computer would always be up to date with the most modern speeds and memory requirements.

Granted, but you forget something every time it upgrades, so you are left wondering how to turn it on.

I wish I had a modern house where nothing ever went wrong.

Granted. Your house is state of the art, the most modern one ever built. When you, proud as a peacock, invite your family over, they get insanely jealous, and lock you in the basement, so they can live in it.

I'd love to talk to Freud and explain to him his Oidipeus complex s*cks @zzz.

I WISH I WAS ALOUD TO DO WHAT I WANT WITH OUT GITING IN TROUBLE

Re: The Evil Genie game:
I WISH I COULD DO WHAT EVER I WANT TO DO WITH OUT GETING IN TROUBLE

I WISH I WAS MY ROOM
ON THE BODOM FLOUR WITH WINDOW OPEN ALL OVER

I WISH I HAD A ROOM DOWN STARES WITH THE WINDOWS OPEN
I WISH I HAD A ROOM DOWN STARES