The Evil Genie game:

Granted. You are now a neonate, and you never age beyond that stage. You cannot lift your head, roll over, or make sense of anything you see or hear. You cannot communicate except by crying. Your days are spent helplessly waiting for someone to come and feed you and change your diaper. Eventually your caretakers tire of doing that. They train a chimp to feed and change you. Eventually the chimp gets bored with that too. You are now cared for by a robot who will be your only companion for the rest of your days, but the robot never gets bored and you will have eternal youth.

I wish I could banish poverty from the earth.

Granted, but unfortunately, everyone becomes rich. So insanely rich, in fact, that it now costs a ridiculous amount of money to buy just a loaf of bread. Even worse is the fact that though everybody's richer, nobody's smarter, and the weight of money that people carry around with them is so heavy, everyone dies from stress.

I wish that somebody would make a witty wish.

Granted.

Emissaries of the afterlife force the ghost of Dame May Whitty (late film actress) to make a wish, thereby 'making a Whitty wish.' She wishes for Wolf_Odonnell to take her place in the afterlife.


I wish all politicians everywhere would be unable to lie.

they are pushed to the truth and finally decide to unite as one huge nation all the trade and stocks are screwed up and your $120000 is now $12


i wish for lots of wishes

granted.

you keep wishing for more and more and more wishes, and right as you're about to use them------!
you die

I wish I never got into the habit of biting my nails

Granted, but it's only because your teeth all dropped out at age 3 and never grew again.

I wish I could meet the lover of my dreams.

Granted.

Too bad you only have weird nightmares in which very unsavory persons sexually assault you.

I wish the gasoline price would remain steady at 10 cents the gallon.

Granted, but the world maxes out on petrol consumption, supplies run out and we enter a new dark age in which only the Amish survive successfully.

I wish the Austrian weather forecasts were accurate.

Granted. The weatherforecaster gets the ability to predict weather which will actually occur. Unfortunately, he is a sadistic disgruntled bastard, with a deep hatred for Austria and an uncanny fascination for hurricanes.
The Hurricane season has started!

I wish the news in the world would only be good and benevolent.

granted
we solve world hunger by feeding the homeless to the hungry
you are homeless

i wish for 10 ferraris

Granted. You now have 10 brand new gorgeous Ferrari's you have won in a contest. Unfortunately you are also completely broke, have no job, can't afford to put gas in them, and have no place to garage them. The first night you park them on the street they are all stolen before morning. Because you couldn't afford insurance, you cannot recover your monetary loss. On top of that, the government is demanding that you pay taxes on the total value of all ten cars since they were prize winnings. You cannot afford to pay the taxes and you wind up in jail for the next several years. When released you are even more penniless and destitute then you were before and no one will hire you for a job because of your prison record. You will never have enough money to even buy a wreck of a used car.

I wish my back would stop hurting.

granted your back is healed and you go rock climbing for the first time in years. you get you leg caught in a rope and it is chopped off, now your stump hurts

i wish for a country that has a good income

There it is. Unfortunately, it's the only country with an income, and it gets its income from all the citizens inside which are required to gvie all their money to the state. You are one of them.

I wish for a truly universal Remote Control, which allwos me to control EVERYHTING I would POSSIBLY want to control with it.

granted but the lepracorn stole the only pair of batteries in the universe and you cant convert the power source. (go the lepracorns)


i wish for a place in hollywood

Granted: too bad Hollywood got covered by rising water levels.

I wish I had godly powers.

granted too bad the things you want to do just broke


i wish i had x-ray vision

Granted: but then you lost your eyes.

I wish I had a surplus of money.

Granted. Unfortunately, everyone else also has a surplus of money and now it costs $100 just to buy a quart of milk.


I wish I ruled the entire world so I could end war and hunger.

You declare your room "the world" and you succesfully end war and hunger in it.

I wish that Mexico wins the next world cup.

Granted, unfortunately, they only won a cup with the words "world cup" written on it and it wasn't the one you wanted Mexico to win.

I wish my life was terrible.