The Evil Genie game:

@DrewDad,

Your wish is granted, you now are the happy owner of 100 acres of swampland, it even has a mosquito pond!

It'd be nice if the cost of things was rolled back to where they were 30 or so years ago, that'd make me happy.

1 Reply

@Sturgis,

You also will have to resort to your wages that you got 30 years ago. Even the devil doesn't want to artificially create deflation.

I would love to one day own and run an arthouse cinema in a town that doesn't have access to such limited run movies (documentaries, foreign language films, etc...).

1 Reply

@tsarstepan,

Granted. You now live in Murdo, South Dakota. You can invite some of the other 488 residents to your living room on Saturday night to watch Netflix. Over dialup. Bring thermal underwear.

I'd like to tour Mars.

0 Replies

Your wish is granted. You'll need oxygen tanks, thermal underwear rated for 100 below, centigrade, and the sunscreen to end all sunscreens.

I wish EB were president.

1 Reply

@Setanta,

Agreed. The Energizer Bunny is now president. What other EB could it have been? I don't know. We have an attorney with those initials at the firm where I work. That would be kind of creepy if you meant him.

The Energizer Bunny may be a better president than Donald Drumpf... but that isn't a real high bar, is it?

I would like to have a little... okay a lot more financial security in my life.

1 Reply

@tsarstepan,

tsarstepan wrote:

I would like to have a little... okay a lot more financial security in my life.

You have an unlimited supply of cryptocurrency, but every one is from the list at https://deadcoins.com/.

(Cryptocurrencies are considered securities.... get it?)

I want the rain, rain to go away.

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

Your wish is granted. For the next two hundred years it will snow every day.

I want own valuable land.

1 Reply

@Sturgis,

You've been granted 1000 acres inside of the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone. You are responsible for keeping all poachers out of your territory as well as the cleanup of your land and the immediate surrounding areas outside your lot. You can not build, reside, farm, or remove any resources into or from the area. You will also retroactively owe property taxes dated all the way back to May 1986.

I wish someone could cure my mild tinnitus in my left ear.

1 Reply

@tsarstepan,

Hey, I'm here to make your wish come true. Starting immediately, you no longer have mild tinnitus in your left ear. You now have severe tinnitus in your right ear...and a strange looking rash on your left arm.

I wish I had a limitless supply of properly cooked fries.

1 Reply

@Sturgis,

Wish granted. These are the world's most addicting and delicious fries and you can not stop eating them, leading to obesity, greasy skin and a never ending lust and obsession for these fries.

I wish the house would clean itself.

1 Reply

@Daisy Ryder,

Daisy Ryder wrote:

I wish the house would clean itself.

Your house is at the epicenter of a never before discovered supervolcano. Yeah. We know about it now? How? It just erupted and the state where you reside? Doesn't exist anymore. You could say that the entire state has been wiped clean of... everything (except molten lava).

I need a new bed ASAP. The air mattress I currently sleep on... has completely deflated (and doesn't hold it's air once I tried to blow it back to full capacity).

1 Reply

@tsarstepan,

tsarstepan wrote:

I need a new bed ASAP. The air mattress I currently sleep on... has completely deflated (and doesn't hold it's air once I tried to blow it back to full capacity).

Your new bed is a bed of nails. You're welcome.

I wish for an electric car.

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

A wonderful choice and although it may be a bit small as it is a child's toy, I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun with it!

I wish to be famous

1 Reply

@Sturgis,

Sturgis wrote:

I wish to be famous

The good news is that the disease will be named after you....

I want perfect weather.

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

DrewDad wrote:

I want perfect weather.

Surprise! It's perfect weather.

On Venus.

I would like a talking dog.

1 Reply

@jespah,

jespah wrote:

I would like a talking dog.

The only person it talks to is you... And it's obsessed with butt smells.

I would like a robot companion.

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

DrewDad wrote:

The only person it talks to is you... And it's obsessed with butt smells.

I would like a robot companion.

Weirdly enough:
The only person it talks to is you... and it's also obsessed with butt smells?!

I wish someone could gather up all my CDs (cases and their respective cases) into one pile so I can stop procrastinating and donate most if not all to either Goodwill or the Housing Works Bookstore.

1 Reply

@tsarstepan,

tsarstepan wrote:

I wish someone could gather up all my CDs (cases and their respective cases) into one pile so I can stop procrastinating and donate most if not all to either Goodwill or the Housing Works Bookstore.

Someone will. That someone is you. It will be tedious.

I would like to never worry about antivirus again.

1 Reply

@DrewDad,

Your wish has been granted! In return you worry about nothing, including taking care of yourself...please go bathe and change out of those stinky rags!

I wish I had learned to play the clarinet instead of just chewing on the mouthpiece reeds.

0 Replies

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