The Evil Genie game:

Granted. You find $100 in Monopoly money lying on the board on top of Baltic Avenue. Your opponent must have dropped it. Unfortunately, on your next turn you land on Chance are are directed to Boardwalk. Your opponent has a hotel there and you lose your $100 plus $1900 besides. You lose the game to a 13-year old child. Dejected, you become a hermit and move to a lonely monastery on top of a rocky precipice somewhere in Ecuador.


I wish my car was not at the repair shop today.

Granted. It's not at the repair shop but, as you can imagine, you never took it there so it didn't get repaired so you shouldn't use it anyway, but you're so urged to not take the bus that you do take your car only to have it breakdown at exactly midway from your home to your destiny.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

Granted. You drink coffee day and night. Your teeth turn horribly brown and you can't grow past 4'11". You can't get a date with anyone and while hiking up a mountain to jump off it, you get raped by a mad goat and thrown off the mountain into a bush. You die a slow and painful death...

I wish I found 100 AMERICAN UNMARKED dollars on the ground

Granted. You find One hundred, unmarked, american dollars on the ground. However, the moment you pick them up, you see a burly guy running towards you, claiming he lost a hundred dollars here... He accuses you of picking his pocket and proceeds to pick your mouth, trying to get the teeth and using his fist as a tool. He is working on number seven when the police arrive and seperate you two. The man walks of with the hundred dollars you found.

I wish I was the strongest man in the world!

Granted. Unfortunately, you don't realize your own strength, and every one you hug will be crushed.



I wish I could travel anywhere I wanted by simply snapping my fingers.

Granted. Now you have to be in intensive therapy to keep your thumb separated from your first finger in order to avoid you looking like a yo-yo.

I wish I was lotus blossom.

Granted. You wilt and die in a day.

I wish I was guaranteed a job as a pro tennis player.

Granted. But on your first match you break your ankle so bad that you'll never be able to walk normally, let alone play tennis. You still are a professional ATP/WTA player but you never get to play.

I wish I could keep my mouth hygiene without having to brush and floss my teeth

Granted. Drafted as an unvoluntary experimental subject, your teeth are thoroughly cleaned by a dentist, encased in one of those fluoride gel holding plastic forms, and then your mouth is sewn shut. Food is supplied through a small tube through your left nostril. The scientists are amazed at the quality of your teeth after their routine checkup after three years...

I wish there were no more flying bugs around.

Granted. The spider population climbs and eats up all of the bugs. However, there are black widows left and right, everywhere in your house. Sweet dreams!

I wish I had all of the Family Guy seasons on DVD.

Granted, you now have all of the Family Guy episodes on DVD. Unfortunately, when you try to watch the first one, your DVD player breaks down. You hop into the car to go to a store to buy a new DVD player, but, while you are stopped at a red light, someone rear ends your car, causing your air bag to malfunction and accidently deploy. The bag hits you with such force you suffer brain damage and amnesia. Now, you not only can't remember anything about the Family Guy, you can't even remember who you are. The insurance settlement pays for a nice comfortable nursing home, where you spend the rest of your days watching re-runs of The Lawrence Welk Show and are unable to remember the words to any of the songs.

I wish I could have a great looking lawn.

Granted. A millionaire with a secret crush on you dies, and leaves his house and lawn, located in beautiful sunny Florida, to you. Deliriously happy, you sell your own place, and use the money you get to change everything to your liking, creating a garden that is the marvel of the known world. Unfortunately, in all the excitement, you forget to insure yourself against hurricanes and other natural disasters. One demolishes your new home and the garden completely, leaving you ruined.

I wish I owned an authentic Scottish castle ruin.

Granted.

You now own an authentic Scottish castle ruin. Unfortunately, it was disassembled in preparation to be relocated to Lake Havasu, Arizona; but the former owners ran out of money. The pieces are now in storage in a warehouse in Glasgow, for which you are paying 300,000 pounds sterling in warehouse rental per month.


I wish they would make more episodes of Twin Peaks.

granted
name's the same but the plot has being replaced to teach you something and the actors are all low grade. also nobody suggested editing and the show is a bunch of random misshaps.


i wish for my lepricorn to reveal himself to me instead of just being out of site

you lepricon returns to it's rightful site, but the last place it was at is named leper colony so it came back a lepercorn... it reveals itself to you only to say that it won't come back because he loves you very much and doesn't want to infect you with it's illness.

I wish I could travel anywhere in the world in an instant

Granted.

The genie stops time for you alone, allowing you to do anything you want and go anywhere you want in an instant, which takes forever for you. However, you age normally, and are from now on unable to communicate with anyone else (they live a different time).

I wish I could bring peace and understanding between opposing religious extremist groups.

granted
the religion includes no electricity and slavery is back you have now made yourself a slave

i wish for a never ending packet of timtams

granted, but your teeth drop out and then you burst


I wish I could transport any person I wanted to my house.

granted but you have amnesia and cant remember your friend names

i wish i could fly

Granted.

Gravity, as a force, no longer exists. You, and all other people now fly and soon drift out to space, where the cold and lack of oxygen make short work of mankind.

I wish I had eternal youth