Let's reinvent some words...

eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist

subdued: Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man..

concerned- Salary received by prisoners.

palomino- Italian friend.

hod - odd human

pod - human so odd as to resemble one for whom a physically identical alien life form (grown on plants resembling huge beans) has been substituted.

innuendo - medicine taken rectally

Monger - person who only gets going (coll.) when amongst other people; raver.

Heh heh, these are good....think Monger's subdued should be changed to subdude...just to clarify it's meaning

caligulaphry: Fancy writing by pervy emperors

Nero - nerd whose social skills are zero

(Monger's "subdued" is hilarious!)

repressed - somebody who always has to iron something twice

depressed - somebody whose clothes look they have never been ironed seconds after they put them on (Me!)

portrait- Not a very nice quality

befriend- OK, so some people are into cows!

mauled- Five hours of shopping is too much for anybody!

depression: wat de iron do to de clothes, hee!

eqwine: horse pee

influenza: where most fireplace backups start?

ironic - pressed with a dirty iron

politics- Nervous condition of parrots brought on when cage is left in front of TV, with the news station on.

petulant - one who gallantly puts up with partner's pets

I got this in email just the other day from lightwizard

Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing only one letter and supply a new definition. Here are the
winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit).

parallel parking: Getting your fanny to the middle seat on an airplane

Tariffic: 1. When the roads aren't so bad 2. When tax people gloat

Heh, nice post Guatam!

pollute- Ancient instrument of inferior quality found in Georgia swamp.

SuperBowl- Crockery used for serving salad at really big party.

cowpoke: Should I really go there?

pedantic: Biking tales