Life: Looking Back, Looking Forward

What about a bit of time out then, Lash? (I've been reading along.)
Perhaps declare a moratorium on "moving on" for a bit & concentrate on other things that interest & engage you? Take the pressure off yourself & enjoy a bit of gentle, stress-free time. You can always return to the fray when you feel clearer & calmer about what you want.

Good luck!

Correct. I told NV this and we've decided to be friends....

NY likes me as I am. He's booked tic to GA for the fall. Heavy daily communication.

ehBeth--- the men I've met locally (just got a call, asked to a local music event) don't excite me. Lash<-----------needs to be attracted to the man I date....

msolga--- I can't think of a good reason to dump a wonderful man who's crazy about me. But, always appreciate opinions. I had to make a decision...and it was really difficult until I came to terms that NV was wrong for me. THAT was very hard.

(This is going to be funny to read back in a few months...LOL) What a maroon..!

ok - so date online, but have you got local friends to hang out with, go hiking, whatever ...

or try to not think about it as 'dating'

expanding your local circle, generally, seems like it might be good for the texture of your life

I agree with that.

It also is a good way to wind up with someone both local and compatible -- a friend knows a guy who knows someone who...

But mostly I think it's healthy to leave some of the emotional heavy lifting to a real-life support network, that might shift but will basically be there rather than the binary with him/ not with him thing.

And it helps keep you grounded and with a firm grasp on who you really are through the emotional roller-coasters of dating.

Thank you sweeties.

My life is now a full-fledged soap opera

NV says he was wrong and had been holding back because of past painful relationships---wants to try again. Wants me to be myself and says I'm the one who amended me,...not him.... (I lose that argument)

So, I broke it off with NY (feeling like I was losing the person most like me I'd ever met) but couldn't juggle him anymore...too thoughtless....

NY and family are upset. He asks me to meet him before deciding.

Plans to meet both of them.

My family (hilarious) are all divided in warring NV and NY camps...calling with methods of deciding ...Pro and Con lists... the dreaded "Pray about it ploy"...

Both have friends calling me taking relationship temperature and offering advice....

Meanwhile, had a nice evening playing pool with a local friend who has no expectations....thank goodness.

I actually love both of these men.

Really want to know what to do.

I'm sure after a couple of meetings, I'll know. The interim is hell, though.

Anyhoo, installment # 73827382 in the continuing saga.

Sometimes when I'm shopping I find two items I really like but have only enough money to buy one. When I get to a point when I really just can't make a decision, I put them both back on the rack and leave the store.

Good luck, Lash.

Cute---but no way in HELL I'm throwing both of these men away...LOL

hi ya Freeduck!!!!

<smiles>

ok - so what do you want either of these men for? or any specific man.

seriously.

LOVE? Come on. Really? Come on. No way. How could that be possible in such a short amount of time? Really? Come on.

Five hours talking one night, four, seven, three..

I know him better than some family members.

I can imagine how it sounds, though.

To share life with.

Do you graduate soon?

(I'm still thinking you really really really need your own life first - and it seemed like you were just starting to head that direction - and that self-immolation you did on the recent vacation read like a huge backslide)

Farkle.

I have another year...then Masters'.

Talking to my gelato about transferring to Nevada school....

Taking some really demanding education courses right now....fricken state, national standards.... only about a trillion...

UGA has additional requirements over four year commitment...farkle...

There is a large Native community there...dreams of teaching these children looks more possible... <smiles>

I wouldn't want you to think my career path is taking a second seat to my romantic life.

I didn't think the two were mutually exclusive---but I appreciate the comment. Don't worry, sista grrl. I'm looking out for myself.

Actually, reading back, I can see how some of my comments may have led to that concern.

Thanks, sweety.

Watching out for you.

I apparently don't have a choice.

Jesus Christ. I am really starting to get upset.

I had told NY not to call me anymore, because I couldn't stand this indecision and guilt---primarily because he seems to be more capable of moving on than NV.

He calls last night and I'm back in the two man/one woman boat.

If nothing else, I know I'm not moving to NV in the next year.

That's the only thing I know.

...and I'm going to meet NY sometime this fall.

I predict I will lose them both.

Both wonderful men.

I feel like I'm being careless with people's feelings---but I'm stuck in this crazy revolving door, too.

I thought people could date two people at once, but you can't be saying the same things on the phone to them---you can't be telling two men you love them...that's just declasse...

(Really, I'm serious. It's awful)

What does a sane person (new viewpoint...LOL) do in this situation?

Definitely meet NY sooner rather than later. Both of you jump in the car and meet halfway if nothing else.

I've just seen too many of these online/ voice only things fizzle once the people actually meet.

Honestly, I'd give this all more time. Not move because of anyone. If it's a stellar relationship, it'll survive long distance. If it's not, it's not.

There's a breathlessness about all of this that makes me wary of it being the basis of any major life decisions. For fun and excitement, sure, but I'd like to see you more settled and stable on your own terms before making it all about a guy. (I think ehBeth's been saying something similar.)