Have You Ever Been Celibate?

Onthe quiet, I have put on weight since I last had a 'relationship'.I dont particularly like my body now but it could be alot worse.I dont think my body is putting me off getting close to someone, I have so many other flaws to worry about.I am eating healthier and even went to the gym last week after not going for 6months(I was half a stone lighter!!)so I am changing.

When I look around me and see some really nasty and big women that are married it makes me think how come they are in relationships!(not that being big is a problem but they are horribly nasty at times, how can that be an attractive quality?)

It's not an attractive quality and I for one would not stand for it.

True but theyve attracted men enough to get married!

I guess it's a question of expectations and standards, but I would have a real hard time respecting any man that stayed with a woman like that. Grace is where it's at for me.

i think were missing the point guys , its not about weight , its about just being happy with yourself which in turn brings confidence and confidence is a great helpfull thing for life in general with means work , relationships .

If I was single again I would not go out with nasty or fat women. Since I take care of myself and have reasonable grace, I expect the same.

Nothing complex here.

yes, but not willingly, and I don't recommend it.

If any of you ladies are in the same position, I'm always open for some casual snuggling:P

Well then Chumly, why are you not acting with grace....I hardly think calling any human being nasty is noble.

Thank God not every man is as charmless as you.

I don't think any woman should have to settle for someone as boarish as you.

If you were Adonis your remarks would make you as ugly as a mud wall.

MG, don't listen to people like Chumly. They live to bring others down....it's the only way they can feel good about themselves.

Stick with the winners. The losers are the ones that want to keep you down.

I was celibate until age 27. I was a member of religious order in the
Catholic church. I've been married now for almost that same number of
years.

I was celibate for six years. Decided to take myself out of the game until I found a game really worth playing. I didn't expect it to take as long as it did, six years, but having that time to focus on myself and not me & JimJoeBob was so beneficial. I learned what I would and would not accept in a relationship, what I could and could not tolerate and not having to have a man was the most freeing part of all. I was able to dismiss men who I knew were not right for me. I felt strong and in control. Horny but strong and in control.

I watched girlfriends go through crap with various men, the same kind of crap that I'd go through with one guy after the other, crying and blubbering over someone who you know really doesn't give a **** about you or even deserve you, and it was just so unbelievably pathetic. I never wanted to feel that way ever again or find myself in that foolish place again.

I had family, good friends, a satisfying career, an active social life, everything but a man to call my own and it was cool. There were times that I'd feel incredible lonely, of course, but having those years to myself, to focus on myself, were very valuable.

I think Im bored of myself now.Ive been on my own for so long Id like to think about someone else.

I agree with having standards, Idonr see why I should go out with someone naff, just for the sake of it.
One women I kew stayed with someoen she didnt like for about a year, how crazy is that.

Technically, celibacy refers to "the state of living unmarried", which for religious institutions, such as monasteries, naturally implies a lack of sexual activity as well. In terms of this conversation, though, chastity is probably a more descriptive term. Abstinence could work, maybe, but it traditionally doesn't directly refer to sex.

(All right, I'll admit, I wasn't much help, but damn, I love the dictionary so much...)

How about the words-
Lucky-if you choose not to have a physical partner in your life and choose to have time for yourself
or
Unlucky-If you want a partner but for whatever reasons, cant get/find one.

Have You Ever Been Celibate?


(The use of "abstaining from" can be applied to anything.)

When you put it that way, then I've voluntarily put myself on a sex fast.

That's me.

material girl,

You've mentioned you can't find anyone but want someone - but you've said you're averse to dating services and that you no longer socialize with your attached friends. Well, sounds like you need to get out, find some friends and get yourself out into circulation! How old are you, and do you work? Got any work chums? What are your hobbies? Meet someone doing one of those. Or just be *out* there and you will meet men.

Want some more specifics? Well, in the past year I've met men (with whom I've had varying degrees of involvement) online (not through a dating service - have never done that), at a bar (both away from home on business in one case, but just generally,whether I've been out alone or with a friend/colleague), in a bookstore and standing in line to buy lunch - just to name a few. I've had conversations started with me that I didn't encourage in other places as well. Many of these guys were unsuitable for "relationships," but I've certainly met some interesting people, have developed some good friendships (including someone who is now one of my closest friends - we talk everyday), had a couple pretty much purely sexual-in-nature involvements, have had some meaningful connections and have had one real dating relationship. Lesson here is - you never know where you're going to meet someone or what they might come to mean to you (maybe nothing, maybe fun, maybe something significant). So get out there! Be open, be friendly, chat without intending anything...and see where you might click...or make a buddy who has a buddy...etc.

Like sports? Join a tennis league - for a certain segment (don't know about in the UK) it's a huge way to meet people - mixers are hugely popular. Lots of frogs, but probably a prince or two as well. :-)

Oh, and don't worry about your weight wen you're getting out there. You'd be surprised at the variety of what men really like. Feel good, carry yourself accordingly and when a guy is into you he'll think you're the hottest thing on the planet.

Wednesday, I am walking downtown, short skirt, black tights, come **** me boots, a Mexican guy approaches me selling ukeleles, I motion no to him but he still approaches, gets up close to my ear and asks "How much for sex?"

See how easy it is to meet guys. Now finding one worth knowing, that is a stud of a different color.

Back when I used to be religious, chastity meant purity, re - I gather - shutting down viscerally sexual needs, as in denial of them. Period.
(Not that all religions say this. Mine did, then.)
I spent some fair part of my teen years shutting off impure thoughts.
Why I am who I am today may be because that aggravated me.

Abstinence is obvious, the stoppage of various practices of whatever sort.

Celibacy I haven't looked up and I guess I should. I used to take it to mean an essential disconnect with matters of the libidinous flesh.

So I gather celibate is now a term for not having sex for a while? Piffle. Not having sex for a while is part of being a sexual being. One should get used to it.

Oh, and I thought I was the only one on vacation, heehee.
Poet, you sound just like me. I've been on vacation for over 8 years and I'm pretty darn content.
I am also on "vacation" by choice because of by bad choices in men.
I had an abusive one, a few alcoholics, and a few hand full of jerks, but the good news is that there were a hand full of good ones, but they were all before I turned 19.
I'm 42 and after my last bad relationship, I decided that I needed a break as well.
I do miss the sex, though and I may go visit my ex in the future just to get me some lovin ;-)
My ex is an alcoholic and even though I couldn't live with it anymore, I still love him, so it would be nice to see him for a week here and there :-D