You guys are all so nice to respond-- I really, really appreciate getting other points of view ( not to mention a nice pat on the head from Chai!).
2Packs-- Your wife does sound like she does the same thing I do, and it helps to realize that context can completely change the way a comment comes across; sometimes it's very hard to have that perspective yourself, you need others to help you see that. And I think I shall follow the don't bring it up advice-- since I (obviously) don't want to work in the kitchen, clearly I'd be silly to obsess over why I'm not working in the kitchen!
Anon-- I bet there are a lot of servers who love you very, very much.
Cliff Hanger-- Very sound points all. I knew when I started working there that restaurants breed this stuff...but in some ways I've gotten to feel like these people are real friends. We have a lot of camaraderie there, or it seems that way. So that's why I let myself give a sh*t about what they think of me. But really, I know it's not something that will mean much in the long run.
As a matter of fact, when you mentioned how long I plan on waitressing it reminded me that I need that perspective too: only a few more months at this job, and then I'm moving away to get my bachelor's. So no, I don't really give a sh*t what they think of me!
The underlying thing is the insecurity. I know this job doesn't matter at all, but I sure hope I really don't come across as incompetent at "real" jobs in the future.
But Chai says I'm not stupiderer than anybody else, so nyaahhh anyway.