Mame, He makes his own damn sandwiches girl!!
I get hungry too...that and a smoke!
Who sleeps on the wet spot?
Lord Ellpus wrote:If one were civilised, and performed rumpy in the kitchen like one ought, there would BE no wet spot to sleep on.
Precisely, LE!
Him sitting on the bar stool while she stands tall in high heels, straddling his lap; from behind her at the kitchen counter while she's trying to do the dishes; spread across the dining table; then outside up against the rough bark of a large old Oak tree...
Oh, this thread is a bad influence. I'm leaving! I don't know how much more I can take of this...
Sorry to hijac this thread but i thought this may be in order , its from a local radio contest on one of our major radio stations here in Melbourne Australia .
Its long so please be patient as its worth the read .
Competition is that they ring the husband , ask him 3 personal questions andif then ring the wife and ask her the same questions and if the answers are same , they win a holliday , anyway , read on :
DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you
win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian".
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married".
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please".
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me.
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Attaboy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question number 2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that,
if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8
o'clock this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is
staying with us for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "Attaboy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the
previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold,
get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to his."
..[ 3minutes of commercials follow.]...........
DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sara, shall we?"
(Touch tones.....ringing....)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sara, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've
been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sara: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian
knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know
the
rules of 'Mate Match'?"
Sara: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay?
Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sara. If your
answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold
Coast for 5 days on us."
Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sara?"
Sara: "Oh God, Brian .....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sara: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sara: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his
manhood. We've got one last question, Sara. You are one question away from a
trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"
Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: Come on Sara.....where did you have it?
Sarah: "Up the arse....."
After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break"
lol, then what happens when he comes home?
