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An old farmer's advice

 
 
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 07:52 pm
An Old Farmer's Advice:


* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,263 • Replies: 13
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Teperehmi
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 07:52 pm
By the way, I am not an old farmer!
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:03 pm
I am.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:10 pm
No you ain't, but you will go to Hell fer lyin' . . .
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:14 pm
Do I have to plow something?

What will convince you?
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:16 pm
How much and what type of silage did you produce this year?
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:17 pm
I don't deal in sileage.
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:18 pm
You don't have to deal in it, but one does wonder how you feed your livestock. Therefore, how many acres per animal and what types of livestock do you keep?
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:19 pm
Are you testing me, Setanta?
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:20 pm
You think I wear this getup because I'm a friggin accountant?
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:23 pm
I thought you were a Prophet.

What, with the staff and all.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Jan, 2006 09:26 pm
I do dabble in prophesy.
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Jan, 2006 04:49 am
More farmers advice

KISS

If it aint broke dont fix it

If it is broke, it can be fixed with bale twine and fencin wire................. Guarenteed
0 Replies
 
talk72000
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Jan, 2006 04:11 pm
KISS = Keep It Simple Stupid
0 Replies
 
 

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