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Sat 21 Jan, 2006 07:52 pm
An Old Farmer's Advice:
* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* You cannot unsay a cruel word.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
By the way, I am not an old farmer!
No you ain't, but you will go to Hell fer lyin' . . .
Do I have to plow something?
What will convince you?
How much and what type of silage did you produce this year?
You don't have to deal in it, but one does wonder how you feed your livestock. Therefore, how many acres per animal and what types of livestock do you keep?
Are you testing me, Setanta?
You think I wear this getup because I'm a friggin accountant?
I thought you were a Prophet.
What, with the staff and all.
More farmers advice
KISS
If it aint broke dont fix it
If it is broke, it can be fixed with bale twine and fencin wire................. Guarenteed
KISS = Keep It Simple Stupid