CALLING ALL EMBARRASSING STORIES!!!

So why didn't you pee on your own damn shoes?

Lord Ellpus just reminded me of this one:

In Jr. High while riding home with a friend, his mother was driving. We were discussing some biology homework and I said "orgasm" instead of "organism."

To this very day I'd rather walk naked into a room of strangers than have a nuclear fart or pee on myself in front of the cool kids!

Are you coming to the get together in May?

<Starts preparing a caffeine-laced prune drink.>

You're right there boomer.

That "nuclear fart" reminds me of another blooper:
In a medical building I waited for the elevator
and when it came down, one young man got out in a hurry
before I could proceed and step in. Once inside, the doors closed quickly and all of a sudden I could smell this awful stench that usually comes from something like a grand stinking fart.

After the initial disgust, I started to panic that the elevator
would stop before I reached my floor.

Well Murphy's law is always with me, and the elevator
stopped on the next floor, where around 5 people stood
waiting to get in. For a split second I thought I stay, but
then I chickened out and run from the elevator towards
the exit stairs.

When I came home for my first holiday while in college, my parents picked me up from the airport in their brand new care. It had everything, fully loaded.

As they were showing me the features while driving, I suddenly thought it reminded me of a James Bond car.

I blurted out "Wow, I'll bet this even has an ejaculation seat!"

I couldn't figure out for about 15 miles why they stopped talking.

these are great... i especially love the "fart hear round homeroom." that is truly classic. this is for a book project. i've been gathering great stories from a bunch of different sources, but this is the first time i've tried a thread. and i am very very impressed. what's the meeting in may all about?

heres another traumatic experience I had
...Day 1 in new job,stomach upset in the first few hours had to go to the toilet asap for number 2's -only 1 toilet for both genders, 36 degrees celsius, a male staff member that I had not been introduced to yet was packing up goods right by the toilet door I go running in the slam the door shut, let the hatches blow....to my horror there was no air vent, no toilet spray and the only window in it did not open and even worse.....a magazine with shiny pages for toilet paper!!!

this thread should be called 'Worse case scenarios'

Ah, so that's why you always wear that air mask.

Boomer, that is the greatest story ever, I had really weak eyes too, and can well imagine that happening.

ohhhh fuuuuudddgggee.

It was a beautiful day in May, about three weeks before school would be out. It was my senior year. I had this really great boyfriend who went to a school across town. We'd been together for over a year, but nobody at my school even knew I was dating anyone.

We both decided to cut classes one afternoon and go to the park. To park. (An old expression for driving around until you found a good place where no one would find you, then parking the car and steaming up the windows kissing, etc. This could go on for hours. And often did, with us. These were the days of "everything but.")

We went to a huge park in another part of town, and after cruising through parking lot after parking lot, we decided on our spot. There wasn't a single car parked at the end of this one long lot, and there were trees for shade. Completely out of the way. Perfect!

We'd been there for about half an hour, by which time the car windows were completely fogged. Our hair was thoroughly tangled, both of us were halfway undressed, my makeup was gone, and the sweat was pouring off us. My lips were swollen, and I'm sure I had "beard burn."

I vaguely heard someone outside the car giggling, but since we couldn't see anyone we decided to ignore it. Probably little kids running around. Back to the groping.....

Someone knocked loudly on the windshield. Startled, we both held our breath. They knocked again. Frantically, we started fumbling with our clothes. I grabbed something to cover myself and slowly rubbed the fog off the windshield......

And there stood my entire Pep Club, screaming with laughter and pointing at me.

I had forgotten our big Spring Rally was at that very park that afternoon.




And no, I never have been back for a class reunion. It's been 30 years or so, but I'm quite sure that they, as well as I, will never forget it.

Here's one that happened to a female friend of mine, and, like the author of this thread, her name was Suzie.

We had a party house where everyone would gather. Most of the time we'd just hang around the house, usually about twenty or thirty of us, but some nights the group would walk down the road to a nearby bar. Nice place, right on the lake.

So, one night about thirty of us walked down to the bar and spent the night playing pool and getting drunk.

The bar closed and we were escorted out. The group of us stood around in the parking lot discussing what we should do next. The parking lot was empty except for one car in about the middle of the lot. There was a single overhead light fairly close to that car which illuminated the lot.

Suzie was hopping back and forth and said, "I have to pee and I don't think I can hold out before we get back to the house. She took a quick look around and spotted the solitary car in the lot. She raced toward the car and ducked down on the other side.

The car drove away.

It was quite funny seeing Suzie squatting there, right in the middle of her business, exposed to the world.

I can still hear her screams, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!"

I was beaten up in middle school by a kid nicknamed "Spaz".

It ruined my life.

If I remember correctly, Slappy's nickname in school was "Spaz".

Small world.

It still is his nickname in some circles.

Eva & Gus,

ROTFLMAO!!

Eva, did the pep club give you three cheers??

I've just sent away for the Charles Atlas course... I'll show him.

So that's what you call me.

Senior year in high school. First year I really started drinking, and I was a skinny little bastard with the tolerance of a...skinny high school kid who hasn't been drinking long.

Classmate's parents owned a summer home, and allowed her to throw a party one weekend night. All pumped up I didn't have to go home, I drank like a f'n moron. Too much, too fast.

After some crap, I pass out, then wake up with a nosebleed. Tell my buddy to get me some paper towels or something. All he could find was a maxi-pad under the sink. Wipe the maxi with my bloody nose. Wake up the next morning, with a bloody maxi-pad next to me. One of my classmates sees it, laughs his ass off pointing it out to everyone, and for a while he called me tampon boy.

See if that happened to me now, at least I'd be smart enough to strategically place it next to a sleeping female, followed by a swift kick to her hip while yelling, "get some class, will you! Jesus, at least flush that nasty thing down the toilet!"

Oh yea, and previous to the bloody nose people were pouring beer on me, since I passed out early.

Never be the first one out cold.

It WASN'T FUNNY, Stray Cat.

I was emotionally scarred for life, I tell you.